"CHAPLINITIS"

NZ Truth, Issue 533, 4 September 1915, Page 7

"CHAPLINITIS"

Theo Tourrier's Terrible Thirst Acts the Angora and is Arrested "A Marvellous Impersonator of Chas. Chaplin," Says Lawyer Jadkson !"Both Ends and the Middle of a Young Fool," Says the Magistrate. Last week "Truth" referred to the large undiluted chunks of Charlie Chaplin, which were being handed out promiscuously by the picture shows of Wellington m their current programmes. The why and. the wherefore of it need not be gone into here. Such a saturnalia of cheerful Charlie, however, was bound to cause trouble somewhere, and, consequently, a slim and .sedate young man was dry-docked befor Magistrate Cooper at the Wellington S.M.'s' Court on Monday morning last to explain conduct on >. his part on Saturday evening-,, which might best be described as AN ATTACK OF CHAPLINITIS. On the charge-sheet it was entered as an assault on "John Hop" Marks. The young "bloke's" name was Theodore Lorenz Tourrier, and it appears that on Saturday afternoon, on his own admission, he went to the rep. Rugby match with a couple of^ companions. On the way home Theo. surrounded four large glasses of hop extract, and eventually landed ii\ Willis-street early m the evening feeling a bit fresh. While they .were suggesting tea, one of Theo's "cobbers" was struck with a beautiful thought.' He wagered Theo. that he wasn't game to buy a big loaf of bread, and eat it m the streets of the city. Two, "quid" was put up, and if Theo. did the bread -chewing act satisfactorily, the two "jim" was to be handed to the Wounded Soldiers' Fund. Theo., who is plainly a daring devil when he's on the "tangle," was game as they make 'em, and he lost no time m taking up the bet. He-bought his loaf and set to work. Soon after this he contracted Chaplinitis and incidentally struck a snag, m the form of a "John Hop." This part of the story is best told by the snag, i.e., "John Hop" Phillips, who gave evidence. He said he .first saw Theo. fall off a tram with his mouth full of "new-laid" bread, and a loaf under his arm. When he had up-ended himself the young Chap-lin commenced to imitate some of Charlie Chaplin's favorite little frolics, rie would joyously kick up his tootsies m the air, and raise his hat. Then he started to HIT PASSERS-BY ON THE BOKO, a la Chaplin. A big crowd gathered round Theo. and the "John Hop" reckoned he was getting over the odds and, therefore, warned him to ha' done. He warned Theo. a couple. of times. Lawyer Percy Jackson, on behalf of Tourrier told the constable that his client was a great admirer of Charlie Chaplin, and was just giving his friends a treat. He asked the "John Hop" to illustrate Theo's antics, which the officer did gracefully. Constable Phillips has the Chaplin back skip tO" perfection. (Walter Fuller, please note.; The manager of a Manners-street picture show was called a3 a witness by Inspector Hendrey, and he said that Tourrier and his loaf of bread presented himself for admission to the theatre m question on Saturday evening. As he considered Tourrier was drunk he refused him admission. Tourrier would not take a straight hint, and kept coming back with a different hat on, and so a "John" was asked to shift him. Previous to this he had seen Tourrier across the street edifying the crowd with Chaplin antics, and the crowd afterwards gather around his theatre. Lawyer Jackson: Are you aware that Tourrier is the greatest impersonator iof Charles ChEgjlin m the world?— No; I've never hearcl of him before. ■■ You say he^attracted a crowd before your theatre? — Yes. Would not this be a good thing and help to fill the theatre?— No, it would not. , After trying to get from the witness an estimate as to how drunk he reckoned Tourrier was, he then let him go. Constable Marks, who was called to shift Tourrier from the picture show, was called. He alleged that Tourrier struck him and ran off. He denied that he seized Tourrier by tho thumb, it was his wrist he grabbed him by. A probationer "John Hop," who helped Constable Marks to run Tourrier to earth, also gave evidence. He said they found the accused hiding behind some timber. He told with evident pride how he put a HAMMERLOCK ON TO TOURRIER. Tourrier himself was then put m the box. With a lugubrious air he detailed his adventures on the Saturday evening. He said that his bread-chewing act might have been a foolish wager, but it was the kind of thing that appealed to him. He accused the police of roughly handling him when they arrested him. In proof of this he stuck out his thumb which appeared to be sprained. "I was immaculate m my attire before I was arrested, and when I got to the station I was more like a hobo than anything else." Witness said that when ho made his wild dash for liberty from the "Johns" he eventually landed m a blind lane. "There was a high fence on one side of me and a big building: on the other. I could not jump the fence so I got under a cart. When the policemen put their bull's-eyes on me I thought it was TIME TO COME OUT. Just as I came out something- whirled on top of me and turned me on my face and I found myself eating dirt." "Good food for you, considering your beastly conduct," remarked Inspector Hendrey. Accused replied that his conduct was not beastly. He was just eating the broad, and, maybe, nicking a crumb or two at the spectators. Ho also strenuously denied the Inspector's imputation j that ho was drunk. Ho had had a few | drinks — eating the loaf made him ! thirsty. j "Have you ever tried to oat a loaf of I bread?" he Innocently asked the austere i Inspector. "No," answered the Inspector. "Well, it you do," rejoined the defendant, "you will rtnd what a dlincult matter It is unless you have something to drink. It is even difficult to eat three or four biscuits under these conditions." "I was fulfilling a part," further said the accused. * Inspector Hendrey: Did you take Into consideration that A MAN WAS KNOCKED DOWN In tho street, and seriously Injured through your conduct? — No, I did not. 13 ut' he Is not charging me with it, la he? The Injector: I don't know what is going to happen m respect to that matter. Tourrier then alleged that when the "John Hops" found him they throw him and rolled him on his face. and. nfior hamlcullinr? him, dragged him thmutcli tho mn ln streets. 'They had my jrir.s twisted hlsrh up my back so tint i could not walk unle:*;j I bom duvibU?. nnd yet all tho time they kept telling mo to walk straight." Accused also Alleged that Constable Marks ■grabbed him by the thumb and npralnod that rtigit. He denied hitting the constable Intentionally. Lawyer Jackson again mentioned to