QUEE'S QUEER QUARRY

NZ Truth, Issue 511, 3 April 1915, Page 3

QUEE'S QUEER QUARRY

|" * — Bunks Boots to Buy Beer Cantrips Cost Quee Nine Quid And is Bound Over to Buy no More Booze. At the Magistrate's Court, Wellington, before Mr. D. J. A. Cooper. S.M., on Thursday, William Quee was called upon to explain his queer conduct. Inspector Hendrey explained to the beak that Quee had been quenching his thirst m such an abnormal manner that he was m quite \ queasy quandary when quodded. He was m the petty mal state which precedes the grand mal of that madman's anthem the "de teum" otherwise known as the dingbats. Quee was charged with, intoxication and having purloined ' 3 pairs of trotter cases, the property of Arthur Edward Mann, bootmaker, of 64 Vivian- street Quee the queer commenced on March 11. .He bought a pair of slitches (as the elite of Haining-street term boot laces) and then remembered that he had, forgotten to take the boots to match them. Not wishing to disturb the good people of the shoe shop, he popped^in and out as rapidljr^is a bee through a bunch of flowers. , The hoofware was valued at twenty-two and a ( kick. Not being immediately m need of the goods he ' - LEFT THEM WITH '"UNCLE" and again commenced the practice of his profession — elbow-elevating. It was a singular coincidence that when Bill's elbow went up a large quantity of beer went down. Long practice had made him an adept. The hoot he got from uncle for the kicker-cases didn't remain on the outside of the pub very long, so Bill bunked off again on the 13th for another consignment. He selected the same value In leather and headed oft for the shlkker shop, calling at his uncle's en route. By this time the boot-bearing business had come to be a habit with him, so on the 16th he once more got busy on the goods and beat up a retreat In a boosery. Then the John Department got him m its line of sight and this culmination resulted m his being collared. When claimed, Quee was In such a queer plight that his signature could not be recorded, and liis antics were akin to those of a. half-singed rat m an empty cupboard. There was nothing known against the accused except that old phrase "but then, you know, he drinks." Bill doesn't drink. His ingurgltatlons would ruin a brewery .and render an ordinary pub as barren and Joyless as v Sahara desert. Two respectable gentlemen, uncles of the accused (not the same sort as those who GUARDED THE LEATHER GOODS for him and paid him for the privilege), were m the "Coort." One of them Mr. .7nmcß Godbor, upoke a few words on his behalf and said that Bill's conduct was unaccountable unless it was accredited to Mrs. Booze. Otherwise Quee was not queer m his action. He intimated that all norts of good care would be taken of Hill In the future and an attempt would be made to induce htm to renege from the Booze and Bacchus habits which he hud contracted. His Worship washed up the panful of proceedings, and it panned out at a two quid fine for Quee to pay on each of the boot-bagging stunts, together with sixteen bob exes., and a restitution of two seven and a kick as reimbursement for the plunder. Of course, if he liked, he could have seven days m the ice-cream chamber on each charge. He was also granted n separation order from Mm. Booze, which is aupposcd to keep him sober for twelve months.