THE DRUNKS.

NZ Truth, Issue 274, 1 October 1910, Page 6

THE DRUNKS.

SEQUELS TO THE SATURDAY SPREE. ; Some Christchurch Court Cameos [ The Complaint of OXonuell. Thirteen drunks paraded for their magisterial gruel m the Christchurch court on Monday morning, four of the squiffy persons being women. This I extraordinary lapse from sobriety !was commented upon by Magistrate Bishop, who sought an explanation from Sub-Inspector McGrath, and that official attributed the absorption of 'hops to the cold sna;p on Saturday night. A DERELICT. Julia Crowley is an aged person who has sampled the local charitable institutions till tJney are sick of her, and her thoughts wander instinctively m the direction of gaol, when she hears "Home, Sweet Home." Discharged from restraint, Julia becomes an insufferable nuisance to the community, and deposits her grey head on the nearest doorstep when the shades of night have fallen, and she snores away m sleep. Then she offers a spirited defence m the morning, mentioning that she has been 180 years or less m the district, and is deserving of her freedom m her dishonored old age. The last time Julia was picked up she was enveloped m an aroma of beer, and being curtly described by Clerk Banks as an incorrigible rogue, was sent to bother the minions of Gaoler Ironsides for the space of twelve month's.

"THE TRADITIONAL BOARDER."

The Julias appear to have had a "day out" on Saturday night, Julia Wilson being boobed for beer. She proclaimed her innocence with the virtuous indignation of a bellow-drama, heroine telling- the villain Jo do Ms worst. "I wasn't drunk," she said. "I was excited because 1 was arrested m the street." Coppors McLeod and Bayliss, however, testified that at 0.35 p.m. m Colombo-street they found Julia as full as a tick and deposited her m Government lodgings.

"Have you any witnesses to call ?" queried Magistrate Bishop to Julia. "Yes, Mr Blake," she replied.

Mr Biatoe proved <to be a greybearded personage with a wi-de expanse of bush-clearing on top of his cranium. "The lady was perfectly sober when I had tea with her at 8 o'clock," he said.

His Worship : Is she married ?— ■ Yes.

What were you doing, having tea with a married woman ?-- I used to be her boarder. His Worship (significantly) : Oh, | yes ; the traditional boarder. j Blake : She was being skull-dragged. | about the streets by her husband and j another man, and I went for the poj lice. * i His Worship : Ten shillings, or 48 hours. HUBBY AND THE OTHER MAN. Henry Arthur Wilson, inferior half of the earlier accused, was then charged (1) with assaulting George Hall ; (2) with using obscene language m Colombo-street. Wilson | pleaded not guilty, and elected to be tried by, a jury on the. b lanky charge. He was remanded till Friday, and asked for bail. It was granted, himself m £50, and one surety of £50. The amount was a heavy blow to Wilson, who was led away muttering inaudible things. THE PAINFUL ASTONISHMENT OP PAT. ■•■ Old Pat O'Connell and his large family of sons have been spoken to unkindly so often by judge and lnagistrate m Christchurch that the greywhiskered patriarch's dial is as familiar as the court furniture ; but he believes that his last appearance was brought about by treachery. It was a plain drunk charge, the second within six months, and the sturdy accused pleaded not guilty. Sergeant Reiner stated that at 6.15 on Saturday night m Stanley-street, Sydenham, he placed an arresting liana on Patrick, who was squiffy.

Then was revealed the deplorable manner m which the innocent accused had been trapped and boobed. He came to the police station drunk and with his hands bleeding, said the sergeant, and wanted the blue-garbed gentleman to arrest his violent sons. They had put him out ,of his own house, he said, and his fingers had been injured m the doorway. The sergeant instructed the aged. battler what to do m such circumstances, and told him to depart,' but Patrick insisted upon remaining and pouring Ms beer-inflamed wrongs into the distracted ear of the sergeant, who finally hurled him off the premises. Patrick was too muzzy to . proceed homeward m safety, and as his digits required medical attendance, he was given a barred room at the station all to himself.

il Luk wha-at they did fine," implored Patrick from the dock ; "they tuk th' tap of me finger off," and the eMerly accused -held up his bandaged hand extremities, also an extremely dirty, blood-stained handkershief.

His Worship told him it was his own fault. He was always drinking, whereas, if lie remained sober and kept his boys m order, this sort of thing wouldn't happen.

Patrick : A man w'd wa-ant Jack Johnson iv Ameriky to keep thim right. His Worship said that O'Connell seemed to have had enough punishment, and he would impose no fine. The old man woukl have to pay 10s 6d doctor's exes, however. "Thank you, y'r Warship," said Patrick, fervently. PREFERRED THE LOCK-UP. Leslie William Corry Smith was picked up m a state of helpless drunkenness on Saturday afternoon, and appeared to be m great pain. Leslie holds an important position m Christchurch, and is an intensely respectable person. He became so bad at the station that a doctor was sen.t for, and later, although he had coin, and could have avoided the disgrace of appearing on Monday morning, he was afraid to trust himself abroad m his state of indisposition, and clung j to the police station, a circumstance so unusual m a prisoner that it is recorded herewith. On Monday the Sub-Inspector said he wasn't sure if Laslie was fit to be at large. He J had been pouring fiery liquid down his neck for some time. "I'm all right now," remarked Leslie, who wears a clean-shaven, aristocratic dial, greying hair, and clothes. "Perhaps it's safe enough," hazarded the Sub. "We j can pick him up at any time." Les- ■ 'ie was accordingly fined five bob and I '.•o.si?, and ordered, to pay lls mccli- ' cal exes. '