AT CHRISTCHURCH.

NZ Truth, Issue 244, 26 February 1910, Page 5

AT CHRISTCHURCH.

"Gyver," "Guff," and Great Gambols Generally. «'X" has been tho sole subject of conversation m the South for sometime past. The daily press lias excelled itself m the publication of petty details of his doings and mode of life. The news that lie has fourteen grey hairs on the starboard and seventeen on the port side of his mo. has been duly appreciated by a listening public, but the information that the Field-Marshal is apt to sneeze like ordinary people has not been received with the consternation one might imagine. Even his wardrobe and domestic arrangements have been thrown open for public inspection, and Christchurch "Press" clutched with both hands and its aged teeth the narrative of a lady correspondent who had several remarks addressed to her by Kitchener's sister m the dim and distant past. "X's" pet family name wasn't revealed m the conversation, but it was probably "Kitch." An announcement that X of X's nephew went to the Chow compound ! country m the first New Zealand Cobentingent and was afterwards killed while serving with Kitchener's Horse, brought a breathless ex-Cohentingentetf into print and the borrowed limelight of tbe moment. Young Parker went out to his death, not m the first crowd of farm-burners r but m the second, of which thc ex-person was a member, and they were all proud of the circumstance that he was m the Co- . hentingeat. Parker was probably a decent enough young fellow and did his duty like the rest of 'em, but it is sickening to find a healthy New Zcalander {sufficiently crawlspmc to express pride m messing with a fellow fighter because he happened to be the nephew of a lord. Kitchener motored to bis sister's place m North Otago, then entrained with Sir Joe at Oamaru,, 1 and found the route to Christchurch blocked at intervals by huge bunches of excited humanity, headed by the local mayor, who m tiirn was buttressed by tinpot dignitaries, columns of whose names were enshrined m the local rag, after the bored gentleman's three-minute stay. The only thing that has been ■ known to put the great soldier to flight is the mayor, probably of J)of,ville or Maori Flat. His Lordship, m his earlier travels, shied immoderately at mayors, one of whom, it was alleged, deliberately stole him from the Premier at Dunedin, • but he is getting used to thc apparition, like a young horse con r ion^ ed with a traction engine, and rrg*r'-.

matter of habit, then with a knowledge that dinner was waiting at the Club, he submitted to the ordeal and consented to be talked at. The casualties m the crowd were twelve faints, two sprained ankles and one dislocated elbow. Kitchener had had a pretty heavy day and. created a surprise by going to see the "King of Cadonia" by way of relaxation at night. He stealthily entered a private box with the Premier, but his advent immediately dislocated everything within . sight. The Operatic Royal Guard came on and saluted, the orchestra, m the middle of a chorus choked itself off and played "Gor' Save," and the eyes of a mighty assembly^ bored holes m the Kitchener party. Afterwards a pushing, hustling mob surrounded X of X to get a look at him, and a weary field-marshal was driven home to bed. He was up betimes Tuesday morning, and coughed his way through the tunnel to Lyttelton, which was under war conditions, and not even a dinghy could come between the moles without permission, under pain of being blown to kingdom come. The obsolete ironmongery stored for defensive purposes was duly inspected. An impressive review of the cadets and scouts of -Canterbury district, mostly under canvas In Hagley Park, was set down for Tuesday . afternoon. The park is the largest lung of the city, and m it the Exhibition was Munrded and brought to a close. It is a bigger expanse of public reserve than exists m any part of New Zealand, and whole armies might manoeuvre thereon and get lost. It is semi-circled by the beauteous Avon and has a real lake of its own ; certainly the most seusible , and picturesque place m which to' hold the cadet . review. But it hasn't got a grandstand wherein the bon ton may assemble and watch matters at their leisure. Were the review held here the nalce people would be compelled to come down to the level of the herd and mix with thc same. Wherefore it was announced that operations would be shifted to the A. and P. show grounds at Addington, where the best people might be seated ; a pokey place apparently incapable of accommodating the . uniformed youngsters. Of 2300 cadets camped m Hagley Park 1900 were inarched to Addington show grounds, their numbers being added to by secondary, school cadets and scouts until 3500 paraded. Nine battalibnsfwere packed m a ridiculously small space, and extensive company movements were impos- ; sible.. The grandstands were reserved for members of the Legislature, oflicahs, their wives and families, and "friends," whose name ' was legion. The common people were permitted to assemble m the show-ring, and tbe grandstand was thrown o^rn to f'c lower classes' at 3 ; p.m., but a*: it V'a'i V.y t.rat time chock-

a-block with superiah persons holding gold-lettered invitation tickets, the common public bad perforce to swelter out of eye-sbot, feebly thrilled occasionally by shouts and agitation near the rails of the enclosure. One entrance, reserved for Kitch awjl ; party, was shut off from everybody by, a wall of mounted troopers, who rounded up indignant persons like sheep when they broke through the corden.. Women were the worst offenders, vrith. hasty old gentlemen of considerable social ton- j nage easily next. These were pursued on ] horseback, regardless of rank, and forced, j boiling with rage, away from "the for* ] bidden pathway- Two mounted coastablfis ; involuntarily made way for Magistrate : Bishop when that judicial personage i strode majestically into the drive- A j cavalryman shot across his bows, but ; his Worship squared his massive shoul- ! ders and walked forward- Two sections j oi mounted men wheeled m front of the daring magistrate from either side; they met before him, and as their horses recoiled from the collision, his Worship swung wrathfuily forward and down tlie drive., amidst loud applause. .He was the only person, bar Kifctstaaier and Co., ~Tv3ao got through that way. The thousands trere packed like sardines, and the great mass and outer fringe saw nothing ; but the A. and P.. Society's fences and bnaldings were climbed m all directions by determinett sight-seers. The General aafl staff,,, accompanied by the Prims Minister,, got through the miserable little review m a. very short while, and the paucity of numbers of cadets and the meanness of the Whole thing couldn't hare impressed the visitor very much. It isaai insult to the people of CShristchurcii that matters should have been managed, m this hote-and-corner iasMon for the bemefit of ttie privileged few, whose qualification ior a gold-lettered grandstand ticket was the capacity to say '"Haw 1 * wiii tbe correct bleat. The faaraway returns were enormous, wMcfr probably largely influenced "Sic deexston to hold the "review" at Adtfingion.