MORE ROOM!

NZ Truth, Issue 218, 28 August 1909, Page 4

MORE ROOM!

SIIPREME SUFFOCATION SANCTUM.

i The "Costs" editor of this law gazette having donned his Wig, gown, whiskers, and other legal appurtenances, made put what he wtiuld term the "hereinafter petition." • May it please your Honors, brother "Costs," and high and mighty ncfcilrtiy of the Department of Justice. - - Whereas the Supreme bdurt, situate m Wellington, m the -provincial district of Wellington, Was erected some forty years ago, and whereas i -a certain juror* to wit,one John "Smith, hath laid certain com: plaints before, your petitioner, dnd whereas the, saW John Smith and another,- to wit, a. 'benighted newspaper reporter, have laid before your petitioner certain, coin-; plaints, m language contrary to tlie form of the statute m such case made and provided, your petitioner would,- tfierefor^,. Crave your honorable permission to pfitee the aforesaid ccmplamf-s before your hdn- { orable. notice. Your petitioner would request leave to put m the following evidence. John Smith, being duly sworn (and swearing : horribly) saith,' 1 am a common juror, and, because I had. to, 1 attended the blanky Court last week. During the hearing of a case against a tarry-handed son-of-a-gun I' was ordered out of Court, and ias the day was exceedingly wet, and I had Mowhere to go I blew into a pub and there got full of swan^ey, to the general detriment of my pocket. 1 come from Petone, and had to pay Thy own tra'ih fare, also my lunchout ci the blanky sum\of ei£ht bob A day. I think rt a blahlcy shame that jurors should have to roost on the doorstep of the blanky Court instead oi j having a room m which they e'otfld wait. i I am blanky well blank - — — With your honorable permission your petitioner will proscribe Hie rest of this witness*, evidence, sis it is very hbt. , The aforesaid uriWbrttiy scribe did not > require to be sworri; He did all the swearing himself. He s'aith, "I a* 11 a scribe and a Pharisee, and there is no blanky room for me m the benighte'tl cigar box known £ts the press table. It might have been big enough for the blanky pencil pushers who used it iii the' year one, but lags and reporters have, increased. in numbers since then, and tllis poor orphan is crowded 6iit. The ventilation m tlxj benighted horse-box with the blue curtains is like that of the nether, regions, although it differs iii thisrespect that it is conducive to slumber, which, if indulged m, would lead to a small but one-sided passas;e-at-arms with the old boy who hands out "stretches" to the deserving lag. I would suggest that the rotten show b 6 burned dowc and that out of the insurance money another be built. The honorable Court will, therefore, see, from the evidence put m aforesaid, that, these mild-mannered men have a small grievance, and your petitioner would submit that the aforesaid grievance is founded m fact and is not ultra vires. Your, petitioner .submits that the aforesaid Supreme Court, situate m Wellington aforesaid is inadequate for the requirements, and. is an anachronism. And your petitioners will ever pray for your quick decease if you don't alter things.