A HAINING-ST. HAKA.

NZ Truth, Issue 217, 21 August 1909, Page 4

A HAINING-ST. HAKA.

ASSAULTS ON THE SCUM OF ASIA.

Skylarking and Its Consequences

This peaceful and law-abiding religious paper wonders what possesses the average male person when he gets full of purge, to go up Haining-street or Chow avenue and raise an insurrection there. The game isn't what it is cracked up lo be, and the niug who takes it on gen- ' orally falls into the soup, or, more correctly speaking, the cold, hard, stone jug, otherwise the boob at Mount Cook. Chows, also, are not the long-suffering, patient martyrs that the Chow advocates reckon they are, and generally get up a small disturbance of their own, and argue with the foreign devil with THE BUSINESS END OF A . TOMAHAWK, or a paling with a nail m it. The heathen Chow can also lie like a gas-meter and whilst following the noble example of a Hebraic gentleman known as Ananias, who died some time ago, rather suddenly and without an inquest, they can screw a mug that would make any one of Bible-banger Booth bunkum blower's fortunes when carting round the tambourine. The Chow is a pestilence and a. canker, and ought to be damn well buiiiped out of New Zealand, but whilst he is here this Kerristian community has got to put up with him and is barred by "the form of the Statute m such cases ■ made and propided," as Clerk 'Holmes would say, from handing the heathen a "slosh" m the eye or an inflammation ol the "bugle." Charles Pearson and Augustus Abraham, two tarry sailormen, blew into Haining-street on Saturday night last, probably to argue about the Poll Tax or the Porridgebyterian Sustentation Fund, which keeps the "fire-escapes" going, or tp conduct <i mission. Anyhow, they leaned against the gate of a Cantonese Chow called Joe Chong, and Chong the Chow came out to ask "Whaffor," and, after argument, was biffed on the "buzzum." His pal, another heathen, rejoicing m the name of Joe Vow, which sounds like the agonised yelp of a dog whose tail has been jumped on, also came out and said "Whaffor," and was handed one or two to keep. Then the stinking sons of Shanghai RAISED THEIR WAR-HOOP, and Haining-street Hades emptied itself and chased the tarry-handed into the manly bosom of Cop. Jimmy Cummings, who boobed them. Charlie and Abraham, who is not a Patriarch, made their bow before "He-who-sittcth-in-Power and of the immutable countenance," better known as Beak Riddeil, on Monday morning to answer to the awful charges "hereinbefore mentioned," as the 6s 8d brigade would say. Charlie and the gen-, tleman with the aristocratic name of a dissolute old Roman Emperor, pleaded not guilty to the heinous crime, and SubInspector Norwood, m his calm, impassive manner, chaperoned -the Chows. Tom Hong translated the heathens' slabs of unnecessary verbiage. Joe Chong, the heathen, blew out the. festive match, and said he was a hashtower keeper m Haining-street. At 0.30 on Saturday night he met two foreign, devils outside his gate, and they rushed m and. got a hold of him. Pearson struck him and Abraham punched Chong's pal, Joe Vow. He also called the heathen a yellow . They had no business m the place. They were acting as if they were full of swankey, but the heathen witness did not think they were really drunk. / Joe Vow said he was a gardener and was with the other portion of the Yellow Peril on Saturday night. Saw one of .the accused get hold of Joe Chong, and witness asked, m his fearful language, "Whaffor." THE OTHER FOREIGN DEVIL then biffed witness. Constable Cummings saw the two accused following the two Chows. He saw Pearson hit heathen Chong a slight blow m the chest, and Abraham ; also strike Joe,. Vow two more severe ones. • Charles •• Pearson, m explanation, " said he was going through Haining-street on his way home and stopped outside Chong's hash-mill, when the heathen Came out and ordered him away and insulted him. Was only skylarking with Joe Chong when the Chow sung out something m his own language and a whele crowd of Chows rushed him and his mate. Witness ran down the street and 'was ar-. rested by Constable Cummings. Augustus Abraham reckoned he never struck the Chow, ana he and his mate wen* only skylarking with the Chows and had to run away. Witness only pushed the heathen away from him when things began to get crowded. He admitted having been convicted for assault once ' fcefore, to Sub-Inspector Norwood. His Beakshio reckoned Charles and Augustus had punched the chows, and presented Charles with a fine of 20s, with half interpreter's fee (5s 3d), or fourteen days m the hydropathic. Augustus was handed a '40s fine and also half of heathen Tom Hong's fee, m default 21 days m the health resort up the hill. 1