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NZ Truth, Issue 215, 7 August 1909, Page 5

The hoary old mother-in-law joke again ! A man begged the Tower Bridge (London) Police Court Beak to sentence? him. to 200 years' "jug" so that "ha mi?,ht escape from his mother-in-law. There is nothing to be alarmed about m, the mysterious lights seen m tue sky and Supposed to be airships. "Critic" knows several respectable old boys wno have seen several lights m the sky and elsewhere, on their return from the club, for years. "Critic." would direct the attention oS the W.C.f.'U. to a recent statement m the Auckland Magistrate's Court. According to the *'Star," the Magistrate knew of a house of green timber which started to sprout, a select committee, consisting; of Revs. t»r. Gibb, J. J. .North, and Mary Ann Aitken ought to be set up to investigate tfiis statement. "When you get a man to attmLt lie is drunk you should impale him on a piu and put him m a museum," said a solicitor m the Westpott Magistrate's Court' recently." "Critic" wonders whether that noble worker m the cause of "Costs'' i;; speaking from experience. Anyway Wellington would not want a large museum, as nary a soul admits a "jag." An undoubted case for an award of the Royal Humane Society's medal is to Lawyer Cracroft Wilson, of Petone, the City of Smells. The gallant "Costs" man was proceeding to the railway station the other morning when he observed a gay and fesiive drunk floundering m an extensive pool of water which had gathered during the l\ea>y rainstorm of the Drcvinus nit'ht. Thfe bibulous party u*as helplessly snicker, and might have 1(6,?n drowned bad it not been- for tho irfftle and self-sacrificing efforts of the "sixund eightpenny'" man. aided by a passer-by, m rescuing him from *iht: tnisihty dlcp. The hclj)less one was sent home in* nn. -cxpjrss and the icj;:>l ono can^hl hit tsaia*