JIM THE MILKER.

NZ Truth, Issue 183, 19 December 1908, Page 4

JIM THE MILKER.

— , — _ — «, _. . Me and the bosses wife went south m the Waikare and a good old hooker sh? is and all the coves fore and aft are good Cbapsattd don't put on* side, which is a great blessing. On tare run to Lytrteiton 1' made the acquaintance of a very decent soger ' and we had, many drinks together. Yer never seen a better soger, he would fight all day long if he- got a start, but it was 'damned hard to stop him. Well, this joker knew all about , signalling, .H» had been taught the job and couttd read and transmit signals like a book, so when we came to Lyttelton heads, lo and behold there was the war flagship lying right m the fairway and as it was fine daylight we could see a cove prancing about on the bridge. He was all covered with gold lace, wore a cocked hat, had a telescope under his arm and a long cheese knife by his side while his face was as red as the flames of hell. He looked a rather ugly customer to tackle. Me friend the soger said to ,me I'll bet yer a jqiiid that's, the admiral, watch / m&. He took his wipe out of his pocket and signalled ■: are yer the -.admiral ? And the cove on the beidge replied ■ I am that same and be damned to yer. The soger again signaled, do -yer ever read Truth ? The* reply was My oath, Norton's Truth is the favorite paper of the Australian fleet, it is good, dincum. The soger then said Jim the Milker and the bosses wife are aboard this hooker, and the reply came, Is that a fact ? Well ask them if they will dine with me on the flagship. I'll send me launch to bring them, aboard. But as we had to address the "people at Christchurch we had to decline, so the Sallant soger signaled back, Uant be one, so long me buck and alls well. The bosses wife wasn't very well pleased as she had on her high-heeled red boots, also her exhibition hat and with the natural vanity of wimming would have liked to prance round the war ship and give her opinion- on things m general, including gunnery, spook raising and the proper relations of the sexes. She is strong on this point and yer can bet that his nibs the admiral would have had some fine moral truths knocked into his head, and if he had put on any damned side she would have given him a clip under his lug and rammed his telescope down his throat. She is the nnebt woman m Gord's own Country, and when we went to bed that night she hugged me very tight (she is very .strong) and whispered m me lug that she would- sooner have me than all the admirals unhung with their cocked hats, t*.Bcscopes, cheese knives and all the rest of their bag of tricks. She was greatly exited and roared out that she would plug any 'woman that she caught looking at me. 1 scu <i downstairs m me shirt tail to the bar and got a gallon of beer and two glasses. After we had finished it she smiled on me, fell across me chest ana went to sleep. Next time I will tell yer about our capers m the far south. IM THE JViILKEK.