COLD-WATER CRANKS.

NZ Truth, Issue 168, 5 September 1908, Page 5

COLD-WATER CRANKS.

PARSON PALMERS PILGRIMAGE. Provokes a Peaceful Public to Profanity. The Chivalry of a Christchurch Crowd.

The form of mania known as NoLicense is causing considerable unpleasantness m Christchurch, where it is feared , steps may be necessary to place frenzied partisans under restraint. As a harmless phase of t lunacy it has merely served to amuse the public so far, but when it breaks out ' m a virulent form m the streets and rouses the populace to anger, and interferes with the traffic, it is about time firm measures were taken to preserve law and order. The snuffle push have imported two professional shriekers m- Parson Palmer, of Surry Hills, Sydney, and Mrs Harrison Lee, who claims to be a Victorian, and talks with, the nose-note . of America. Palmer is a person who goes, into the highways and byways and makes a nuisance of himself. Oh Saturday night he stood at the Hereford and High-street junction, where the traffic is thickest, and collected a hostile crowd that swelled over the footpath anditoad and' seriously interfered with the right-of-way. The City Council's Inspector requested the ear-splitting sky-pilot to move, but he had the. unspeakable gall to stay where he was and dared the official to do his damnedest, or whatever is the clerical equivalent for "damnedest." The inspector took the offender's name, and probably didn't have him" locked up because the No-License; push has practised so much yell, and curse and blither m the city that there is an impression it 1 must be a. large and ' influential party. At: least "Truth" assumes that ''is whyS THE NUISANCE WASN'T GAOLED for . the night. , Inflamed by the success .of his law-^ breaking Palmer arrived m the Square; with a gig on Sunday night, accompanied by a pious driver, and immediately .turned, the neighborhood into a pandemonium: \The crowd objected to his tirade of 'abuse against beer, and told him with emphasis and unanimity to go and get work. His assurance that there was no drunkenness m one prohibited area was particularly objectionable to the crowd, who asked him where he came from; and what was- : the source of his information. Kor a strange bible-: banger to travel 1,500 miles to 1 tell the Uhristchurch people what was going on within a few miles of them, and ito deny the. eyistence of /beer m prohibited districts when many m the crowd knew, of it by personal knowledge aroused considerable indignation, and the indiscreet cleric was .subjected to such boisterous barrack as to disgrace the Sabbath evening/ and draw the police to the scene. The crowd was enlarging every minute, and- Sergeant Brookes requested the nuisance to move on. "Why don't you shift these fellows ?" he protested, pointing to the howling crowd. ''They are making ail the noise." The- officer replied that there would be no disturbance if the ' sin-shifter were not there.. That person then moved down to the southern side of the Cathedral and held forth some more. But he was assailed on all sides. One, man m the crowd told the inaccurate shepherd ' that he personally knew of ' FORTY-FIVE SLY-GROG SHOPS IN ;, ASHBURTONy . • ;. The Sergeant of Poil-o had informed a "Trut.. reporter that he knew of eighteen, but the man m the crowd had a personal knowledge of forty-five. These remarks were applauded by an enthusiastic crowd, and the Palmer person losthis temper. He made cutting observations about the ; brains and -meagre' in-; telligence of his interrupters, who . repeated the injunction. «!Go and get work !" Palmer: "I've done more work to-day 1 than- lots of you have done m a whole week!," (800-hoos, groans, yells, arid laughter). i work with my brains and my mouth and my nervous energy." (Hoots and disorder)^ "Some of you seem to ; think that .the only work is buliocking and navvying." , A voice : "You dodge it, at anyrate, boss. (Yells of delight). . ':■'' At this stage an elderly person; with whiskers waving m the breeze, advanced; to tne crowd and shrieked that they were cowards to attack one man. Immediately an astounding assortment . of sounds issued from many throats and crashed through the atmosphere. ; They were loud, shrill, husky, booming aridprolonged, and the old man DANCED LIKE A MARIONETTE before the surging sea of humanity, Waving his > hands frantically, gesticulating, and opening his mouth m denunciation, but not a word could be heard above the din. The elderly person retired and the crowd followed. An excited .spectator attempted to reason with the 1 hoary-headed personage, and a heai>ed dialogue attracted a . large "'number from the, main performance m the gig, whe"re Parson Palmer was talking about the "iniquitous" the "inequitable" legislation of the Government, providing a three-fifths majority. "Are you m favor of submitting the question of abolishing the churches to a bare majority ?" was one poseri Palmer said that was a -different thing. Drink was a curse ; the churches were not, an opinion strongly opposed * . by the crowd , who called him a "wobbler," and told him to answer the question. The Burwood tram forced its way through the surging mass at. this juncture and the indiscreet parson retired. One. of the No-license party, fearing the devil had triumphed, faced the populace and called them "brew.ers' pimps", and .'{publicans' pimps." Thereupon a, mauhunt was instituted, and had it not'Tieen for the intervention of, the, police, the shrieking , advocate of cold water' would have had a toad time. Darkness provided another safeguard, sections of the multitude rushing frantically from side to side of the thoroughfare, usually on , a false scent. Finally a loud. cry- went Up as ■■■'■-' ■.■■■:.' ■■ . .■;■. ;. - ;. • . PALMER'S VEHICLE APPEARED again m the Square and the parson proceeded once more to business. The police ordered, him to go, but the insufferable person, who will pose as a martyr presently, refuged to move, and gave his name,- and that of his . driver. The people surged, around the vehicle, arid heaven only knows what the end wouLd have been, had npt Mrs Harrison Lee been hauled up into the trap at this stage, and the nonplussed crowd was forced, by its involuntary desire not to appear harsh to a woman, to listen, without a word, to an address' about the che-ildren and the unhappy wife and miserable drunkard. There was something unnatural m the sudden silence of tne crowd, as they listened to the woman's metallic voice, and it might have been the absence of the customary applause that made her cut her address short, and sing the Doxdlogy m company with a crowd of iNo-license people who had been listening to a denunciation of beer m the Opera House. THE CROWD WAS GETTING ; RESTLESS at the finish, and a few sniggered at the speaker's Wussleyan twang when three dicers were given by the pale tea partisans for Mrs Lee, contenting themselves merely witn three fervent groans for Palmer as tne party drove away. Is there no means of putting a stop to these degrading spectacles ? A person who would ask a woman to brave insult m this manner is a peculiar specimen oi humanity, and the act is only equalled for mean-spiritedness by the offence of sheltering behind the same woman. It apealcs well for the honor of a mixed Christchurch crowd, that while it instinctively recognises and resents a travelling showman m clerical garb, it respects a wcman, although she may hive acted foolishly. ■•--.'. '