BREECHES OR BLOOMERS?

NZ Truth, Issue 165, 15 August 1908, Page 4

BREECHES OR BLOOMERS?

THE LAMB THAT REFUSED TO BE SHORN. v

A Delicate Inspection of a Pair

of Pants.

''Goldbloomer" Bros. Make a Misfit.

Magistrates are called upon ' to :. adjudicate on some curious transactions m the CQurts, but when it comes to having to decide as to the fit of ladies' clothing the task of the Administrator of the Law becomes a very interesting one, though it is quite probable that the average magistrate would prefer not to sit m judgment on" the frilly flounces and flippenes of the fair sex. When ladies disagree as to the correctness of the style and fit 6*f their dainty costumes, it is pretty hard for a mere male to arrive at a fitting conclusion,, and this is, perhaps, a.-, good reason for instituting female magistrates; On Thursday last Mr W» i>. James, S.M., was called upon to decide a claim for £9 OS 6d for a riding habit supplied by a Wellington firm of Yiddisher ladies' tailors, trading under the. name of Goldbloom Brothers. The firm consists of Davidj Alexander and Mark> aDd the claim was against Mr C ;O. B> Lamb on account of a riding habit supplied to the Lamb's fair lady.

Mr D. Jackson represented Ikey • Moses and Co. and Mr W.- J. Cracroft Wilson : appeared on behalf of the gentleman who was unwilling to be shorn. Alexander Goldbloom~ haying- taken the path with his tile on (the usual Hebrew fashion), got a lot off his chest at a great rate which no one could either hear, follow, nor understand, SO VOLUBLE WAS THE ISRAELITE. Eventually Mr "James got the descendant of Moses to stand t almost beside l tiim. on the bench and endeavored to Restrain his steam thrasher-litfe tongue and a little headway was made. The Israelite affirmed that a riding habit : consisted of a coat, and skirt and denied that it should,»include a pair of breeches m which the fair equestriehne should exercise' her lovely limbs. He asserted that the price agreed upon between Mrs Lamb and himself was seven and a half guineas, and that did n;ot include ' breeches,;, for which an extra charge would be made. ; ' When > cross-examined by Mr Wilsont Goldbloom got very, excited and asked the silver-toned Petone • lawyer not to 'bellow out his questions as it affected his (witness's) nerves. Still Mr Wilsdn persisted m pressing his .embarrassing ; cpiestiohsj an/i Alick gave evasive replies.' : He also protested against the ladies' breeches being 'exhibited m Court before the eyes of prying men, asserting that they were too sacred for such ah exhibition. But' ,Mr Wilson, persisted and the witness had to despatch his lady assistant, a beauteous/ dark young lady, with lovfely , eyelashes and pretty teeth, to procure' the sacred emblem of a vote and which English! suffragettes are how demanding m no uncertain tone. In the meantime Mrs Lamb gracefully retired to the Magistrate's room, where ;■"■■ '

SHE DONNED THE RIDING-HABIT and returned to Court .m the full rig-out, which was duly inspected by the Magistrate (who examined all the points with a critical eye), flhe disputing parties, and last, but by no means least, 1 the press representatives, and "Truth's", scribe i all the while wearing a ; ruddy wand becoming' bl,tish. ' It was apparent to the' merest of mere roan that the hatot was not an elegant fit,, and when the lady suib,-< sequently declared that she would not' wear the articles, even m the 'bacKblockg, "Truth's" reporter mentally ejaculated, "Hear, hear." When the breeches were brought into Court, : Mr . cared not for the blushes of the ladies _or "Truth's" Sunday School reporter, but spread them out to the light of the world and asked Alexander Goldbloom, "Do you call.those riding breeches? They are more like bloomers." Now, how Mr Wilson found out,' "Truth" does not profess to ; say. It was found that the "breeches, or bloomers, or pants, or round-me-houses, or trousers, or -whatever they were, were hitched up with a rubber baud, and not with the orthodox band and buckle, and further, the buttons 1 at the bottom were placed on the side next the saddle, thus thelady •would chafe heir lovely limfos did she try Ito hunt or ride m the bloomers, or breech:es, or '■bags, or whatever they are alleged jto 1 be. The lady m giving evidence expressed her disgust at the misfit m scathing tones. She had even submitted the obnoxious habit to a firm ;of expert tailors to see if they could put it into something like condition, but they.could not do , so. Mr W. L. Baker, an expert ladies'tailor, said that whoever cut the garments DID NOT KNOW HIS BUSINESS, and he (Baker) did not ! know on what system they had been cut. Mr Jackson interjected that they had been cut on an American system, to which Mr Wilson warmly replied, "This shows the absolute rottenness pf the system." At this remark Alexander excitedly jumped up like a Jack-in-the-box and" jabbered something or other; then he had a confab with his brother Mark, and subsequently yelled something to the pressmen, but what he said "Truth's" reporter could not catch. After about four hours had been spent on inspecting the habit, criticising the cutting and passing rude remarks on the fit or misfit thereof, Magistrate James waded m wiljh the most cutting remark of all by giving a verdict for -the defendant with costs against the makers! of alleged ladies' breeches.