JIM THE MILKER.

NZ Truth, Issue 149, 25 April 1908, Page 6

JIM THE MILKER.

In me larst parable I axed what the wild wowsers were saying well the bosses wife think that they (the wowsers) are saying and telling lies. What is Holy Moses Kill Joy North saying ? Lies. What are the whole gang of them saying? Lies. From Fredy WeHington down to jocking skiter Moore all the time lies— and the worst of the job is that these rips aint content with slandering the workers oh no nothing wSI do them (the wowsers) but attempt ta plunder them out pf their hard, earned splosh. Did any man or woman ever see a wowser worick ? No. Did ever any cove ever hear of a wowser speaking truths ? No. But thousands of bloakes have heard them telling lies like a thief ' m the wit-ness-box. God help any human creature that comes under the wowsers aforesaid they have no mercy and their hearts are full of gall instead of blood. Now I thought the bosses wife had converted Holy Moses North as 'she tackled him more than once' trying to show him that he knew little of the ways of God, and that he was a self advertising slink. Now when Holy Moses Kiljoy North was called a slink {an exelecent 'name for him) he waxed wrath and jumped out of his -big chair to smite Madam, but she like ■Jihe pious Hindoo of well known fame Jcaocked him kite high with a celip on the lug and when his servants > rushed m the bosses wife said that she had \ smote off the ear of Judas and if any more of them wanted any more she would 'deliver the goods forthwith. • By gum tme is strong on the Holy Buke she has trae whole job at her fingure ends and knows more than any parson m these lljltrsfcs. Now I must tell yer that when | me i and Madam were m Dunedin admiring ».thS'»Burns Statue m the Octagan looking •Aat the great man, one of the wowsers ■called Rogue Gibb came along with another cove of his own kidney and roared out here is Burns as he was m life with 'his face to the public house and his back :to the kirk. Here the bosses wife took a hand and axed are yer as good a cove as Burns? Are yer any good at all with yer, high' pay fer doing .nothing. Be off yer scalliwags and don't" insult the effigy of » a dead man, a man that showed up yer dirty tricks, then she gave them 'the back of her hand and sole of. her foot. Yer/' ought to have seen these wowsers run for their lives with their coat tails flying. Mr McGruther said Madam ye hae din goo wirk bashing them a wheen lazy tinkers that will, do no worrick. Who are these nesty loons that. laddie out fire and brimstone to all humanity. 4 God knows Jim ye wad think that they "(the wowsers) were God himself. Who gave them authority to speak for - God ? Who are they that put on such side ? Then the bosses wife said dear Jim .et hot yer heart be troubled for m these days commeth many false prophets, yea even as wolves m sheep's clothing, verily they shall get their reward.^ All things are good dincum if yer know how '.to interpret the worid. Then we went <over to the nearest pub and had some iirink where we went over, a long roll eft pelf paid wowser chaps who are getting money' under false pretences, and yellinc that they are under the nobody can do it but me act go to yer vagabonds. We then clonked our pint pots together and me and the bosses wife >,went to bed. JIM THE MILKER.

1 A confirmed bachelor is usually a man with a purple past and a siire subject for the- Devil's Domain at death. The piety of the early Canterbury settlers extended even to the public buildings, , which are extremely ecclesiastical m arciiitecture. T'other day a stranger looking for Christchurch Wesleyan Church walked 'into the S.M. Court ; then retraced his steps to the Land Transfer Office, deluded . by its saintly appearance. Finalc§|4\ attracted by the spire of ( the Suppl|i§||sji|iatrt, lie entered devoutly and sank *^P^ilßk&^n the high pew reserved '-"■' ' r ' Fortunately the gaol