GREEDY GEORGE GOODALL.

NZ Truth, Issue 130, 14 December 1907, Page 6

GREEDY GEORGE GOODALL.

SAYSf WTHS" STAFF ARE DESPICABLE CROOKS. Declares Togo to be a Mongrel I A Sweet Response to an Unsavory Skunks-S avage Scribble.

. George Goodall, who runsi a hash ' factory m one of Wellington's busiest thoroughfares and who is quite^ . an. authority on cheap labor, and has reduced deb.t-dodging to a fine art^has other pretensions, some dirty and '^distinctly dishonorable, which d'ugjht tfeo have earned him gaol, where, m, fthe cookhouse, his culinary abilities stand • him in good' stead. 'The '.others, or. at . least the other, is a sort of ■ scribbling itch which finds, its vent an butchering Shakespeare to give his guts-filling emporium a sort •of ■ literary , sanctity. Happily for George (5-oadall, none of these , pretensions kaye brought;. trouble for • .Cer>tainly the "Masterton police, price .seriously pondered 'over ■ Greedy George's prosecution concerning the ideath, accelerated per purge purveyed by George, on a farm or • stations ihand,- whom, greedy guts •'Garge" aliowed to booze himself into a state than that recorded of . Noah ■m •Holy Wait. .» ■ ... „ j-;,---" .£:" Other pretensions of the ; said Garge .#hieh should earn him gaol will beWealt within due course. Last -week ■this paragon of ])iety x ., price* 3d, a little'bf : "" ' .'• \ ;THE SAD' -AM) SORDfb StOR;Y^ <>f Greedy George .Goodall 1 s life, aris'Srig out of a Court case ; wherein Tp m ■, Levy, a good and ' faithful ' servant, 'liad to sue the said George for his'wagjes, which the stinking sk,unk of an ex-shypod seller tried to diadle hiim ■out of, but Dr. McArthur, S.M., must tfcave smelt 6-oodall ;' lie could hardly .a|-a, magistrate have been unaware m • his unsavory reputafiohj and concluded that he was a skiink and .:-. a stinking, cur of a skunk at :that, and . ordered liim. to disgorge. „ Now, : the .skunk Mint stinks, otherwise' George >6oq oili, .haying .literary pretensions, ;ias? tri^d'^his: hiand ■ ;at ;mud-slinging, 'irid, ' 'slinking into this office . on^ Wednesaay last^ and stinking like a;pole.cat, so much, so that Inspector Jimmy :©.oyle was 'around Hkeashot invesrtigating and insisting bri ah immedi<*te disinfection of the premises, han-i-ded m, with^a request to -publish;- aiid 1 intimating-: his willingness to \s&f for the . insertipn. pi .the j-f ollowing- unique freak of a . : high-Tly-disordercd imagination; which, Slaving ..been, 'thoroughly subffliiited -to 'a fcighly scientific course of, deoddrizaffcion, is now given to a highly-expec7 itant;: wocld ;— ■> .•,",;,".- " • • „0h ' 'Truth - where " is thy victory; <v OhUirt where -is thy sting.' ■ Dear Truth,— .: , . :- . Nearly a week since you l-uifehless^ \j slaughtered me ; ''I thought to pass away/before and yet alive: I «m." I had visions ; of another cow* position with my creditors j-^aabth-er ''four years of blue paper." -phi God - ! how I felt when they toid me •'Truth' ha-anTe. Since the night your bal^-pattd principle (sic) blew his opening spurious notes m the ■ Wellington Opera House, like Margue-tite-'s lover did I "•dread tlte day"' : when "Truth' would unearth my tlack and guilty past and lay bare-: my villainy to those to W<hom my placid surface only has been visible, And . it has come at last,—Nemesis . -a la 'Truth.' ' . " J • I.saw my 'death-warrant on Saturday morning last, I watcfeeel for luncheon patrons,— strange,— they all turned up.— perhaps . they ftodnot yet' seen the'Truth.'—Tear Jtime— tables full again. Good God, ghat's bappenod to> t?Truth.'--iS(up-per tirae—.crowded.'—not a vacant chair. . v r ' They're bound ton-cad it Sunday %rt4 Monday, my business , must lrii^ier and perish/ Mond ! ay--full: Tuqsday-tfuller. to-dayr-a Teccad/ 'Truth' you're, a damn fraud, you cau^thurt a 'bit. * v ,; However you havn't found out all attouli trrtte yet arid if 1? could ionly C*l myself to believe that -my increased business is. really 1 diie v /to your lousy- ragging I could snpply you with itenis^ of my past that •would blanch even I>lie toeeriesfc 'face' of your staff. Thank, God the bolt has fallen. You can't imagine . the change you've wrought* m tbingsi -as they seem.cdi ' ■ '■■ \ V What herpes your fellows used' Ik> seem to me as tbey- done tbe town. It was always ait understood unwiritr %m conviction that one- - shpujd *tand aside ami let the ITrutli^man get nearest the : barmaid ;^ the ltush that fell on tlie criminals ariound ithe private bar, wiich the • 'Tricfch' man came m. Even the cojmter lunch was spared for the Vbig ; . red stVter. Now: ail is ended.- I I saw . -!tw"g of your .fellows to-day/ and they ■were absolutely the 'most; despica-; •We looking crooks m tfe street and the red -dog is a monsgrel^ t-. ' Yburs dDlightwdJy; ! " GEORGE GOODALL. Now, -we admit iliat ciur ;.- a-^ii-ncl-/pie" is bald-pated. Whaf tiiSugb he; jis-. bald he is bklssed; What fflhough he is not mellifluous his notes !"bave never been 1 dishonored, and he thas never had to be suefl by bis. sei;fivartts for their wages. And he has' jaicver been divorced because '■ of adul-: l^ery,; and he never ran a ' swankey: r*hant*y and invited farm: and station Aands to a glorious djriHik and thus' .jfill them up with bad: beer ' ami / rob bhem of their sweat? d-for earnings. ffi/Toreover, he never k^pt supper-rooms itthat were m reality/ a 'ljrothel, and jit might just as wf'll lie noted by the police that 'this "ffuts" G<oodaH ran, «n»d might -still r^.m what cannot be fetter described./ •' ! ' AS AN ASSS&NATION HOUSE, * and they should keep a -strict eye on; )<the establisbHiL^nt -accordinglyr As for "Trutih" being a daianed. arid not hurting a bit, it might [reassure this /bummer of a broiihellifeeper to'heaa* -that it did not intend^ ,to hurt. Troth isso pure and w/hjtc -.that it is harmless- Now. that' a^bro*her or assigiration hoase; Keeper; is exposed to the light of day, we'll see jwho is the fraua—Gopdali; springer. j»ud dirty, debt-do%er # .wfeo!;iorß«*v»: ;

-has been a target for blue paper pellets, or "Truth." i .No doubt; George, you guts, your, I past is as rotten as your present reputation. Like your body,, it stinks. lYour afjiind is an open sewer, and you ; baveorily to ask the barmaids of the •town to ;find out that you. stink m body as m mind. So foul *is your iriincl that they rightly judged your :1)ody to toe filthy and only laughed giddily and gaily at your dirty r proposals. Goodall, you're a'beautyi-you scrofulous skunk ! ' - ■-"Truth" often-wondered iiow it was Goodall was so* silent should it strike where he was. The 1 reference to eriini y nals-is, Jiherefofe a very unhappy one. ftrid'as* for the red setter. GOODALL, YOU'RE A LIAR ! It's a Wack and tan setter, a pure-' bred; Gordon, -and a'damned sight better breed v than you are, and a damn sight more popular. It haa too iMch respect for its teeth than to insert themHn your carcase. (Lie down' T0g0,. : you'll have some .butter ed scone and ■■': sausage-roll ; restaurant-keeper is /:unwhoiesome-) -And "Truth" will jiist ga'mible' 'a little that any publican 1 or. any barmaid m the city would sooner'' see the counter lunch going down Togo's pure-bred neck than down ypur v bl&stiferous throttle,. Togo^s a, -£00,(1, healthy, wholesome dog an ; d ; the girls like him because he doesn't -stick a dirty ' : red -visage into theirs and ask them to go out for- WiiSiT^hliß ; oh the eve of his marriage, as you, do GiOjOdall ; he 'doesn't, .insult respectable and honorable ,giilsv.'witii improper and impure, proposals, as you have done, Mr muchmaligned Gpqdall. - ,Yqur was a playfijl little joke, and calculated; if publis-he.d,i .tp procure you a: good adr * 'verti^eirilentl Well, ' we Igivcj you' the "benefit 'of your jblce and make a present of the advertisement. And, Tihally , to quote ; Shakeepeare, Mr Goodall, "A skunk by any Mother tnahie would stink as strong. V