ROARING RANTERS.

NZ Truth, Issue 12, 16 November 1907, Page 4

ROARING RANTERS.

A CIRCUS IN CHRISTCHURCH.

A Rally That Realised Nothing.

Turner the Sneak and Spy.

The raving, roaring ranters who run the small prohibition crew m •Christchurch had a circus m that town the other night— last Sunday night— nut they called it a no-license rally. There wasn't much' of a rally about it ; the show might as well have been called an empty kerosenetin. Of the audience the majority were young fellows and young girls who had gone m out of curiosity, and who left the place -gig-rlin-g. The performers were a curious combination —a trio of professional spouters named bumptious bounder Taylor, inky Isitt, turtuous Turner, with sly Smith, the Upper House joker, m the chair for the sake of decency, decorum, or devilment, "Truth" doesn't know which. However, it was a bright sort of variety show, and the last speaker was Tommy Taylor. Well, the devil take the hindmost, anyway. Frank Isitt is an eccentric cuss, who expects to go to heaven. He said so on that good Sabbath night at all events. Wond?r how many people would care to meet Francis I. m heaven ? They would probably prefer better company m E.ome other apartment. However, Is 7 itt told' the audience that he would like to he able to record four more votes m favor of prohibition before he was. carted aloft to mix WITH THE HEAVENLY HOSTS. That means that lie is giving himself twelve years to live if an election is held every three years. The Almighty God has evidently no say m the matter as to when this watery compiexioned cuss is to' peg out. But that by the way. All Isitt'sspeeches for years have been the same. No new matter m them. Their simple refrain is, abolish wine —not for the stomach's sake, but for the sake of himself and his brother Leonard, who are making a living at the game. But they only want it abolished gradually, or else their source of income would vanish like a dream m the grey of the morning. By the way, it would be interesting to know how much those two firetongued fellows have made out of the "cause" since they became connected with it. People say that figures are dry, but it would be interesting to see statistics printed m this particular connection. These Isitts complain, or at least Frank does, that the ministers of the Gospel don't take up Prohibition m the manner that they should. Well, everybody isn't a dam fool. and Isitt should know that. Parsons know a good thing when they see it. and tbey know a good thing when they taste it ; and they know that breweries are good investments— in fact, they know quite a lot of things, and it is unlikely the Catholics, or the Anglicans, or the whisky-drink-ing Scotchbyterian will ever take notice of roving ranters of the Isitt type. But what caused a lot of amusement was the speech, or wild ass gallop, or whatever you like to call it. made by one N. Turner, who was described on the bill-of-fare AS CITY MISSIONARY. Well, it isn't known what Turner does for his crust, or who pays him, but lie must have' a good deal of time on his hands, as he is acting as a spy for the cold tea crowd, and goes round to collect facts, Whether he does so or not needn't be a matter of comment, but we will take his own say so for it. He stood out side quite a number of pubs one night — Saturday night previous— and his voyage pf discovery resulted m him observing some appalling things. Mostly young men visited the boozing dens ; few men with grey hairs dropped m. A hell of a lie, this. Well, after four hours' sneaking (it is a wonder the police didn't move him on) he arrived at the conclusion that hotels ruined social life, youths misspent money (that ought to go on the collection plates presumably), and all the rest of it. He publicly stated the names of the pubs he had spied on, did this joker Turner, but his allegations against thc lot are utterly devoid of foundation. Why do these mostly malicious people manufacture lies to suit their own cause ? Why do Prohibitionists get, up to such pranks ? If persons pried unon the doings of these religious folk, including ci(y missionaries and city shiccrs, there would be SOME NICE READING served up for the delectation of the public. Tommy Taylor instanced tho State of Georgia m a place called America m connection with thc temperance movement ; he and his pals used to talk about Maine, the most, drunken State kicking about, which carried Prohibition, but that place isn't mentioned now. During the course of his old-time discourse, Thomas referred, as a matter of course, to the New Criterion case which "Truth" originated m these columns. Yet these paltry, parasatic**l Prohibs will preach about "Truth's"' doings junfil novf p]<>c_io._ or kin":.'-.i.* come j or KoiDfl inve or oil. or. I'Jut it. doe**•n't matter, the public knows,