SUMNER SALONS.

NZ Truth, Issue 116, 7 September 1907, Page 5

SUMNER SALONS.

MUNICIPAL MUDDLERS.

Peculiar Water Regulations.

Where Does the Wet Wander Away To.

At the back do 0 r of Christchurch is the pleasant and steadily increasing and progressing borough of Sumner, which is suffering from a sad misfortune just now, inasmuch as it is being run by a crew of blatant incapables m a municipal manner of speaking. The matter was alluded to m an article that appeared m "Truth" a while back, but no improvement has been effected since. So Sumner ratepayers have become somewhat depressed, mainly because a topsy-turvey system of government exists there— a system that the public have to pay through the jaw for— and that gets on the public's nerves. There have "been so many happenings to saucy, sunny Sumner latterly that it would take a good deal of space to recapitulate them, but the place is being; run m suoh a faroical wayj, as to make Christchurch people smile cynically, and considerably cynically at that. The present council, which outed the progressives of the town, were pitch-forked into positions . for which th_y are utterly unfitted ; and as arrant failures they are a most stupendous success. They were pumped m through the front door of their old urinal— which is their present office—by that delightful organisation of talkative tommies known as the Burgesses' Association. And Mitchell was made mayor. Mitchell is a retired gent of no particular ability, who will be remembered m connection with the Alfred Forest diamonds. Famous m Maoriland mineral history are Ihosc same diamonds, but what Mitchell made out ,of the giaane "Truth is unaware and doesn't care a shark's fin x either. However, now that the Burgesses' Ass. is m power, they continue to hold private meetings once a month, and they get up

AND BOMBARD MITCHELL with questions, until Mitchell wishes he wasn't Mitchell at all. All of which is very undignified for a mayor; because they talk .to him 1 as Mayor. Well, these municipal insects started out filled with mixed . sensations, and gob a loan of thirteen thousand qujd, or thereabouts, and although that loan was raised for the ostensible object of asphalting the footpaths, kerbin^, and channelling, etc., no ihing has been done m that direction at all. Yet tha somnolent, silly ratepayers voted for that particular kind of work to be done for their cash. But as one of, these sapient councillors remarked : "Damn the asi halt and channelling ; what do I care as long as I can get my produce to town ?" And the remainder seemed to fall m with that self-satisfied mood. So the footpaths may become p-rcengrassed, and moss can grow on the doorsteps, and football can be plavcd m the streets between trams, and the progressive citizens of a fair-sized borough don't care so long) as they can get their pat of butter end their head of cabbage to town. And the impertinent scoffs of the level-headed portion of the community have little or no effect on these commonplace persons, who would feel very lonesome indeed if they weren't doing what they didn't orter, or perpetrating it m an incredulously silly manner. For they have now carried their lunacy to

i A RIDICULOUS EXCESS, and have actually sacked their engineer, O'Donnell, and McLaughlan, foreman of works. And they have not replaced them ; also the men at Sumner and at Redcliffs have been put off, so the town is now run by the carter of refuse, and the lamplighter,, who has been promoted to water engineer and general head boss or something of that sort. Now, according to the rumors that are floa;t>ing round that marine . suburb, it appears to writer- that the blasted insectarian element has crept into local municipal matters, . and that Mitchell and the other Sumner sal-lies,-who are at the top of the tree just now, don't want a man working for them who is an Irishman and a Catholic, or either. They were continually quarreling with the engineer and the foreman of works and it was mainly on that account. Some fh_goted idiots were clamoting m a loud tone of voice for their dismissal, and it was eventually effected. It would be ah impudent piece of meivdacity to say that the council was putting three men off ; that it was on account of their religionis the general opinion iri Sumner, and this paper has gone to the trouble to make injuries. Yet these curious coves will no doubt have the sublime effrontery to want to impudently and glaringly place a little tin halo round their cocoan.+s and aver m a solemn tone of speech tnit they did a courageous public duty. Faugh ! These fiddling farceurs make one dead tired. Now, when a borough has such a complicated sewage system, septic tank, and so forth, costing £7000, and a high pressure water supply, and has expended a lot of money on pumping machinervi, why should they be such a silly lot of jumbucks as to sack their engineer and foreman of works ? It is absolutely inexplicable. And yet the ratepayers stand it ! Out of that thirteen thousand quid loan a road contract was let, and to show the stupidity of what has been done by the Council, after they sacked the engineer the sea laid bare the main affluent pipe connected with the septic tank, and the inroads of the sea eventually smashed things generally, and citizens naturally complain of THE AWFUL STENCH. These pipes should have been .protected, latterly as they used to be, and it is only now, seemingly, that this comic-opera, or .©pera-bouffe crowd, or whatever they like to dub themselves, are aware of the fact. It will mean the expenditure of another thousand quid to right matters. The pipes will have to be re-laid m another position. But the ineffuble gall ofthe Sumner Sally ites. who would try to guide the destinies of the sea if they had the opnortunii ty, is noif only manifested m the ! matters mentioned above, but also m regard to the wM'ft su^piv. 'Hi^ Council turns it off religiously at 8 ''o'clock at night and very often it

isn't, turned- on until eight o'clock next sqorning. And that is something approaching a scandal. Why is it done "> Is there a possibility of the supply b^ing stolen m the interim and pawned for what it is worth? Tbe vrttwarA- consumption during the winter time h^cV^en a^ bout 60 gallons a day per heal oi the community, while with only half the number of people that were there m the Summer the consumption was | about 30 gallons per head. There is a j base legend extant to the effect that it is the result of a gentlemanly auabble between the engineer and the Fire Brigade. That Fire Brigade gets inordinately dry a t times, and it has been hosing down the pubs for beer under the guise of wet practices. (But as there has been plenty of rain m Sumner latelyt, this is generally believed to be a base fabrication. However, the engineer objected, so it is alleged. Perhaps the missing damp is bottled by Sumnerites a»d taken to Christchurch for their lunch. It doesn't matter, anyhow, hut if things don't radically improve, and the ratepayers don't say so a* soon as that little loan has run its course of a hundred yards— a lor. n -j:i travel c;uick— Sumner has a change of running mt 0 gloom and bankruincv : and the residents will deve-on 'n',- r guage that will 'set fire to Hr hii'side. and lhc lamplighter will his hc.^d m : : ov<c.-rdv's .^lri : \-<!!-<om. per, and May.-'r Miu I -: will '■•>..!.♦ ■like a lost .soul running a ccme^cy*