A PRETTY PASTOR.

NZ Truth, Issue 116, 7 September 1907, Page 4

A PRETTY PASTOR.

A CUTE COIN CATCHER.

Terrible Tales of a Take-Dew*

A Canting Cove Wh» Cellars His Uuitrymea's Cash.

Christchurch _as always been look* ed upon as the home of the religious qaack m New Zealand, but there are other places. In a North Island town there is a pastor, who, for the purposes of this article, we will call Hans Hansen, that will suit him just as well as any other name. Hams, let it he known, is a British subject, although not a Britisher by birth. In fact, it is stated that, being an ajdent politician, he got out his naturalisation papers within six months of his being m the colony m order that he miight have a vote. But that, of course, is nothing. It only shows that he is a patriot and wanted to be a New Zealander as quickly as possible whether his declarations were right or wrong. It might seem a hit out of orier m a parson, but then perhaps he didn't - know the laws of our country, or possibly where' he comes from they don't have any such silly restrictions. Anyhow, he became A BONA FIDE NEW ZEALANDER and then he set to work to make a / crust and spread the gospel among • his fellow-ooiintryanen. It is stated ; that one day an "enterprising insurance agent camte along to his town, but absolutely failed to do any bujiness with his countrymen, who abound round that way m great numbers. The foreigners wouldn't take Jhe insurance bait at any price, and the agent was about to give up m despair when a friend made him a suggestion. He acted upon it at once and, going to the pastor, handed him a £10 note, had a little chat with him, and left with a smile as big as a 'Frisco earthquake enveloping his frontispiece. Next Sunday the pastor preached a most impressive sermon from the well-known words of St. Paul, "If any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." Of course, the go 0 d pastor didn't leave his conpjregation m ignorance, or even m doubt, as to what St. Paul was driving at. He meanti of course,, that they should insure thrjr lives so that m case of trouble "those of their own house'/ would be provided, for. The insurance agent was out good and busy, next morning, and THE CROP OF RISKS he hooked paid that \ tenner' many times over. But, again, we mustn't be hard upon the pastor. Perhaps he thought that insurance was a good thing and- was giving his flock honest advice, and of course if the agent liked to be foolish enough to drop him a tenner, well, that was the affent's funeral. He is a very eccentric sort of. cuss is this pastor. On one occasion, whilst he , was holding fortfo on the Holy Word his brain got mdxed up with worldly affairs,, and he stopped his discussion suddenly and informed his congregation that he had some cheap -pigs for sale. It was a' mere lapse of memory, of course, hut' it saved a few hob m advertising all the same. On another occasion he.was conducting a burial service and broke off m the middle to ask who was going to pay him. And during another burial service which he was conducting he informedone of the (bereaved at the conclusion that he'd sell him, 1 some potatoes at 12s 6d. One of his countrymen was m the habit of getting A REMITTANCE PROM HOME, and tfcoause he didn't • know too much aflnout foreign finance, this man allowed the money to come through the pastor. It is generally believed by, the remittance man's friends that the pastor's commission absorbed most of the remittance. But, anyhoq, he killed the goose that laid the golden eggs because the poor fellow got into such low water and financial worry that he commited suicide. But the pastor has other commissions. He works the old age pension for several people and gets a cut out of that. One old m-n assured a local tradesman that he was clear of all debts with the exception of £1 to the pastor, commission for getting him the pension. Another showed several prominent business men a hill from the pastor for £4 commission for getting! him the old age pension. One of his greatest coups, however, was m getting 3 days' labor out of a countryman for nothing. The countryman applied to him for work ahd he oU fered him 24s per week. The man used to work at the pastor's nlact for three days of the week and the other three days at a local ■• institotion m which- the pastor had some influence. He drew 8s a day for the

man's labor, then he had his other three days' labor for nixy. He's just about THE HOTTEST YET, is this pastor. A friend of his was once selling ,a horse. (Dinkum,, sell- $ a horse, not calling out numbers to f see' who'd shout.) Neither seller nor buyer could determine the horse's -. age, and the pastor, was called mto J referee. Before he had a look at the mpke's mouth he whispered to his friend, "A v re you selling or buying ?" Oh, good, honest pastor ! There are plenty more tales told about this good priest, and every one does his financial genius credit, even though it reflects rather adversely upon his priestly character. He seems to go down among his own people all right, but maybe he is riding for a fall ; even ignorant bushies won't stand cant and humbug for too long, and the sooner they kick ihis i beggar out to work for his lmnfl | the tetter for them. " i