JIM THE MILKER.

NZ Truth, Issue 110, 27 July 1907, Page 6

JIM THE MILKER.

Mer-the Nobody Can 'Do' ltBat Me Act. Since the new t-arif lias been before the House me and the bosses wife has been pestered by blokes coming to me. many of them leading business chaps asking if I would use me influence with- the Ministers this way and that way to get redress for some torn fool racket, well I ain't on. Then again the 'estimates, it has heen a regular little hell. Many civil and uncivil servants come to me with their -hair on end saying Professor could you not get me an advance on me wages ? If you cant the bosses wife might.. Well me jocker how much splosh do yer get a year ; Five hundred quids. Well wot do you want to trouble me and the bosses wife for ? Yer come under the Nobody can do it but me act, and yer -get it at once regularly. Be off. The coves I want to assist are men with small wages. Tbey dont come under the Nobody can do it but me act. and such feeing the case • yer might as well expect to see a parson m tbe Kingdom of Heaving as to get a rise m your screw. And I tell them one and all, go and chew the lug of- a Minister of the Crown and ask to be rated under the nobody can do it but me act then you arc all right, lite, mob of bloaks coming to .me house is enough to drive a coon wild. Re the tarif, Madam intends to deal with this matter soon, spuds and flour 'included. The other day a big fat cove came to me office axing me to bring him under the act aforesaid. The same jocker was run over the other day. , Yer would notice the case m the'perlice court ; be just had! time to open his mouth when the bosses wife bashed him m the face with a slice of bam, at the same time giving him the sole of her fut. Yer should have seed that cove fleeing for his life. I tell yer that the bosses wife can recon them up, my oath. Me under secretary handed to me this morning a list of coves that come under tbe nobody can do it act. It speaks for itself with a loud voice. I enclose it without comment, but it shows that some coves under the act can do like the whale that swailered a chap tbat dealt m fish. Iv heard bis: n.ime was Jobanh. He was a Dutchman. Chief Advisory Officer Workers Dwellings £50, also Chief Inspector of Factories £450 ; : Officer m Charr-.e nf _Y7'>.<.'---oT*<"er'. Government Buildings £250. free hou<*c l Ufi-htin-B. etc., also Fire Inspector

£50 and travelling expenses, and Supervisoi Messengers Government Insurance £67 : Secretary Treasury £800, Finance Member Council of Defence £100, and Registrar of New Zealand Consols £50 ; Commissioner Land and Income Tax £700, elso Valuer Deceased Persons' Estates £100; Secretary Tourist Department £350, also General manager £350 ; Chief Clerk Industries and Commerce £75, also Chief Clerk Tourist £325 ; Chief Clerk Mines Department £325, also Secretary Board of Examiners under Mining and Coal Mines Act £50 ; Colonial Analyst £475, also Public Health . Department £95; Certain officers Government Life Insurance who also draw salaries for tbe Accident Branch. These multiplicity, of billets don't mean that tbey have to work longer hours, m point of fact tbey generally arrive at work after the other Clerks, and leave early, but as a rule they are thoroughly familiar with the nobody can do it but me act. It would be interesting if a member of Parliament could secure a return showing tbe various billets held and salaries received by some of these jokers. -Now I am almost finished with the nobody can do it but me principle, and it would be all right if they could do it, but as a rule tbey can't do it at all. If they could do it tbey never will do it. They make the other coves do it. It is good fun to see tho side these same customers put oni Yer would think they were Napoleon the Grand. Only Na.poleon was a man of huge bTain power, whereas the jockers that come under the Nobody can do it but me act are m early remarkable for their cuffs and collars and want of brains. Judging from the enclosed list of tbe nobody can do it but me it is reasonable to suppose that most of them would have been better employed m wheeling a barrow full of per-tatcrs through ths streets andi giving poor coves a charnce to get spuds wi thought having to go to the bell fire Chinaman, cr the dirty childkilling, wape-sweating-. wife-thump-ing, cow-bashing, milk-watering cheat the gallows rogues, alias the noble farmer alias the backbone. Yus,. it, would be a good- job if tbey were all m hell so far as the country is consented. Old Massey might be chucked ilk with the rest as a make-weight. * JIM THE MILKER.