JELLYFISH JELLYMAN.

NZ Truth, Issue 104, 15 June 1907, Page 5

JELLYFISH JELLYMAN.

BLENHEIM'S BAD BREATHED

BOUNDER.

A Bad Case oi the Biter Bit.

What a Publication Has to Pat

Up With.

In these good old days, when Nolicense is always the cr^ with sanctimonious snuffiebusters, whom a 'week's jamboree would make men of, the publican, particularly he who keeps a house of good repute; has to be extremely careful m his conduct. If Bune plays up and gets shikkered too often, or defies the police, and commits breaches of the Licensing Act with impunity, and. m a word, converts his pub into a bawdy house, permits drunkenness and women to gather on the premises, and play the very devil to the scandal of reputable, respectable folk . outside, no one is ever sorry if a Licensing Committe: refuses him a license, and says nasty things about him. A publican's business is, as everyone knows, a profitable one, yet all the same, it is a business that the law permits, and is therefore legitimate, and with the licensee a great responsibility rests. .It is to his advantage to keep a clean,, respectable house. The popular Boniface generally is a goos fellow and of the unoopular Buns "Truth" can only say he is a pie. intended by. nature to be a chucker-out m some low-down brothel, and incidentally there are one or two of this class m wicked Wellington, and the wonder is that the police have not mustered sufficient evidence to prevent them ever again obtaining a license. Now, no matter how. honorable, clean, and popular a publiGan ma^ be he is invariably the object of the spite of some hide-bound, OILY. AND UNCTUOUS HYPOCRITE, who is dissatisfied with the poor results of his life. His hatred of the publican lies mostly m the fact that Bunp has amassed, or is amassing, a fair share of this world's good, while Obadiah or Stiggins is not having too good a time. Therefore, that is* why the publican is "pizen" to them, and to close him up, the prohibitionists,' and those who denounce drink, because it makes many hapnv, stop at nothing m the way of lying and missepresentation, do not even draw the line at defaming a good man's najie and f. ,me, and injuring: his credit. ' This is a dissertation on drink, or an. essay oh drunkards, confirmed or reformed. The reformed drunkard ou^hf; to be encouraged, but mofet of them are out and out blind bigots, who abused drink sometime or other m their lives, and consequently cannot regard themselves as of the ffreat majority-r---namely, the moderate drinkers. Not that every man who wrestled with King Alcohol, and then gave him best is a hypocrite. Far from it. Now, one .of these ex-bifoulous exboozers, who is making, his OBNOXIOUS PRESENCE FELT, and likewise smelt, is a greasy, unkempt and seldom-washed individual known as Jimmy Jellvman, whose habitat is Blenheim, and whose extraordinary conduct at that •town certainly calls for comment. The victim ' of this jellyfish Jellyman's vile persecution is the licensee of the Commercial Hotel, and 'the annoyance which the licensee has been subjected to has evoked for him the sympathy of every decent-minded man and woman of the town, who are acquainted wd-th Jimmy's unsavory past. The chief and most unpleasant part of J'ellyjman's behaviour • consisted dn him making all, kinds of unwarranted and unproved assertions against th© character of the licensee, one W. Cond'er, and the Conwneroiial Hotel, which hie keeps. He asserted m a letter to the Licensing Bench-, whidh sait at Blenheim the other day, that the Commercial Hotel was the resort of every thief and prostitute m the town. Jellyman thought his letter would convince the Bench, but he was mistaken, and w a s forced to attend the Court, and when' Lawyer Mills was let loose at him the jellyfish cut a most deplorable caper.; In fact, it proved to be a bad case of the biter bitten, as dismal Jimmy was obliged to adm.it that he owned ar house rented , by prostitutes, and the dirty old humbug had to confess, perhaps drawing a line at perjury, that lie had frequented those houses himself, and the reason why is easy to determine.- Of course, his allegations against Conider and his house are easy to- make, but m this instance Jellyman found it mpossible to prove them, and the kind of .human insect he is can be judged from . this fact. He said the women he saw m the hotel were prostitutes, because he saw them talking to men, and under such a circumstance the character oi any respectable woman m Blenheim is hardly safe from attack. Strange to relate,, 'though, the only lady of doubtful or even shady character ever known to have toen on the hotel premises is one which Jellyman met there, and actually shook hands with and called her "Duckie" 'or somiithing and BOUGHT HER A DRINK. "Jelly" has lately, though, turned over a new leaf, not before it was needed, it would seem, and m turning over a new leaf he wants to reform Blenheim and plaoe it on a new moral 'basis, but the idea of a ddrtyminded, prostitute-rent receiving skunk of the "jellyfish" kind reforming Blenheim is more than most people, moral or otherwise, can cotton to, more particularly, too, as it does not roquite the oldest inhabitant to call to mind the incident of J-irnmy once being dragged out of a prostitute's den and being belabored all the way to his own home by his 'better-naif. Jellyman is just the sort of skunk this paper likes to scourge. He is a dirty old wretch, who is said to suffer from beer gout or something brought about by imbaJbttng too freely the contents of live pint pot The landlord, Conder, is a respeoted citizen and a sport. He is ever m the fore where the interests of the town are ia consideration, and ft is therefore not to be wondered at that he has the sympathy of nearly everybody m the town. A publican's lot is not tbfl best m the world, but scrofulous reformed beer-soakers of the Jellyman | kind made it a perfect hell*