JIM THE MILKER.

NZ Truth, Issue 99, 11 May 1907, Page 6

JIM THE MILKER.

Me and the bosses wife (Madam Sharkey were considering the other night just before yre went to sleep wot damned rask'eis the parson .are. Here Madam got, fair wild and full of fury. Parson ! my Gord one on them tried it ofi with mc when I ,was cjiuite a kid^ Ixtt "l gave him the back of the hand and the point of m:e 'flit, I lifted him clean, off his feet. He came back and axed me not to tell, his wif6, and I did not ■not for the sake of his nibs but -on account ot his' wife and kids. Well, as we are' on the' 'subject of parsons, I Jim the Milker make oath and sayeth as follows,'' to ;witt— When I Was a young mahn long before I took to the trade of spook-raising I was on a small goldfields on the coast close to the beach ■ were yA: must no that. one ..'of me mates died 'a hard death, he died .through love, drink and religion. He was a very fine cove. A parson used to come down to see us once a_month, his name wasMcOruther, not a bad sort but rather fond of women and drink he feared "Gord- because he thought that the Lord would send him to hell sooner of" later. Yer must no that to . preach many a time when he was drunk, he , would ■yell out, Wot are. w# me brethering ? are we angels ? no ; then what are we .?'■' Well I'll tell yer we are worms, worms of the field, a wheen blaigjairds' Vvbere are yer going? let me tell this vaSt ; congregation that yer are all going to hell clean and decent. .."Well the, funeral took place and McGruther read the service he was drunk and when he got to the point m the service, blessed are tbey that die m the Loard, when he fell head first into the grave, where be cursed and damned something awful. Several hard, cases fled fearing that their would be an earthsquake, for bis yells and oaths were something , .awful.. WBU tbe grave was m sand, and it was a difficult job to get him out, for when we triedto pull him up he stuck out his -. splay feet. against the wall of the grave when down came the sand and . kivered him up, , then we reached down a long^haridled . shovel and cleared his miouth when he; at once roared out,' to liell with' the hole push of yer, for, the time cometh when I .will smite yer hip amd thy and curse yer with grevious sores. Take me up yer heathen oiit of this pit or when I get out I'll 'bash the best/on yer. At last wej;got bim otit and a- cove handed him a bottle of whisky, he put it", into his mouth yer could hear cluck, cluck, then he blew his nose, yer could have heard it at Kaiwarra. After inviting those present to.- join him m prayer, no one responding, he yelled out the hundreth '.salm and said that he was going for a swim, as John the baptist uSed : to caper m the Jordan. My oath, jthey bad great times m them days. Three days after this an- old woman passing along the beach saw* this ; parson lying on the beach stark naked he had been trying to walk on the waters but fell m. The lady coveted him up with a fish net and left him to the sand flies. One tame the same parson preached a sermon about Christ meeting a hard case woman at the well. Wot would yer modren Christian do now in' suoh a case. Yer can bet yer boots tbey would keep out .of the. way, or send fer the perlice---Tbe bosses wife* says yer are to hard on. parsons and askes me as follows did yet ever seVNorth drunk? no did yer ever se) Rev Jim Gibb drunk.?: ' . 3IM : TH.E MIMISRi