VICIOUS VOLUNTEERS.

NZ Truth, Issue 95, 13 April 1907, Page 5

VICIOUS VOLUNTEERS.

The Strike ot the Submarines.

A Captain Who Won't be Obeyed.

Terrible Tesmatb's Tomadic Trouble.

Since the shame and the infamy of. the South African war, when every. young buck bogged, borrowed or stole a "milingtary" outfit, and was ready and willing to do wholesale murder at j about five bob a day, has taken- away all the glory and the starch out of military, particularly volunteering, service, volunteers for the defence of homes and; hearths m New Zealand have become scarce. Maybe it is that the sweet and smiling so'it sex has' not much time for the uniform now, and it is a remarkable fact that with the exception of the blue of the tram conductor, the uniform, as far as known, has not been particularly prominent m POLICE COURT AFFILIATION CASES, though- it might be mentioned that one or two young bucks have 'been fined small amounts for the heinous crime, of having dragged volunteer uniforms m the dirt and incurred the contempt of the world at large. This is not, however; intended as a second Sartor . Resartus ; clotbes dorift count much, anyway, even, if they be the bright blazing, uniform of some r swasihtackler. Volunteerin@i; seems tp have gone very much out of' date, and consequently some of the honorary corps, not only m Wellington, but elsewhere m New Zealand, are going to the devil, or dying • a natural death. Volunteering' and sham-fights, and other such military displays of our prowess are all very well, and serve to keep the enemy away from our chores. But the fact, seams very apparent 1

that volunteering now-a-days is not all the fun it once was. Officera d o n o t get all ; the respect they are ' entitled' to. There is not so muoh beer on tap, and nobody seems to give a tinker's curse whether they turn up at parade or not, and consequently, the whole thin^ is a farce. One writer S'u'sscr-ihdttj; himself "Rif-. lemah," -writes to the "Auckland. Star of what he considered the most telling rebuke ever administered to a, group of 'ill-disciplined volunteers who were . strolling down one of Auckland's main thoroughfares on a recent Saturday night. "Colonel Robin, C.8.. Chief of the General Sfcafi, happened to fee pa-sing by. The men stared at him curiously, noted the uniform and the brilliant gold braid on the officer's cap, but made no attempt to salute, or even to remove the . CIGARETTES DANGLING FROM THEIR LIPS. But while they yet looked curiously' the Colonel drew himself to atten-' tion. and raised his hand m courteous salute to the men ! There never looked more sheepish fellows ! The,-, cigarettes fell from their lips, and-: they attempted a half-hearted salute m reply before the officer passed on with a grim smile." Officers d<v not appear to be having such a good time now as of yore, ; no doubt because our cigaitette-smolring, beer-< swilling swashbucklers reckon themselves a cut above them. What happened m Auckland is but a flea-bite to the happenings of late m the ranks of a Wellington volunteer corps, viz., the Voilun'tieer Submarine Minors, and a recent advertisement m the daily press requires some explanation. The ad. ran as follows :— "No. 6 Comp. N.Z. Eng. Vols. Vola.— All arms, with bayonets attached, are to be returned to the company's drillshed next on Monday evening next, 18th inst., at 7.30 p.m., for inspection by the, ;,rmoairer-serreant. Any member failing to return his arms as ordered will be fined.— Ed B. Te©m- ;' ath, Actiag-Captaia."-

[ All said and done, what has hap- j | pened is irauk insubordination, and !no doubt had the strike, for such it is called, happened m a regular corps, the offenders would be court- ■ martyalled or shot or kicked out, or something. The trouble, however, : .with the volunteer submarines, whose military exploita never exceeded the i firing off of a harmless submarine j bomb, an-4 who look pood, care to get lin out of the wet when it went off pop, want another captain, and j Toomath, who describes himself as acting-captain, considers himself boss cock, and refuses to budge, and prefers to see the whole dairned show blown to glory before he shifts, i Toomath is some sort of an elec- ! trician, and has had several cuts at passing some trivial military • examination, and has each time failed, though the result of his last try is not yet known. Well, the "sobers" under his warlike command reckon that he does not know enough to lead a flock of geese, let alone a regiment of brave ' underground and under-sea engineers, and accordingly have let, him know pretty plainly that he ought to resign and gain experience m the • ranks. won't resign, and says m effect that he will see them damned. All sorts of, umsoidierly expedients were resorted to by these human torpedoes ; they refused to obey him and to salute him, and though several of the brave boys were sent to the guard-room) where there wasn't any guard, and though others were put on orderly duty, and made a mess of things only to provoke "Tobmy" he took it all m suffering' silence, and only murmured that it ' was useless having a captain, elected, top, by the corps, if HE WAS NOT OBEYED. "Toomy" hung on to his commission all the same, no doubt seeing that a popular lieutenant that had just returned from /England was the "Praetoraas. 'Guards' " choice. Next the attendance dwindled away to a mere shadow. Still Toomath would

not give up his military ghost. A conspiracy was next, hatched among the members- 0f ... the corps.. There was to foe a parade or something of the sort, ; and it was -decided that nobody should turn up, and thus leave "Toomy" to boss phantom soldiers if they liked. That gallant captain next got wind of what was going on, and made a move m the direction of cancelling the orders of the day or night or whenever the corps were supposed to roll up. Now the Defence Department are 'going to undertake an inquifry into the. affair, and according . to the advert, quoted the Submarine Miners' Corps now seems to be a thins of the past.