A HENCONVENTION.

NZ Truth, Issue 94, 6 April 1907, Page 5

A HE NCO NVENTION.

A ." POWERFUL "PEN PICTURE.

What the W.C.T.U. Hasn't Done.

Why Wray, S.M., Left Ashburton.

Like all such, bodies, that never forget to boom themselves for the good they don't do, and make business, cold cash business, the basis on which to rest their religious principles, the W.C.T.U. is about the brightest, biggest and most boisterous. The members are women, mostly, either stale, stagnant and sterile virgins, or matrons who are disoiples of Malthus, and hang out their signs of "no babies here, "who envy while tbey rail at Tottie, whose' religion of life is to have a real good time, who never contrives to bo 'good, and does not want to be. It. is these same W.C.T.U. "vargins" who, at election time, screeoh and scratch like so many chickenless hens, and want to suppress every little, or big, vice, ■without whioh-liie would be one dull, dreary drive from cradle to grave. • : -Drink, strong, ■■■ care-drowning drink," is not by, any means their pet aversion. If they had their way the age di consent would be raised to something like 90, such is their dog-in-the-manger policy. It would .be a . crime to londle and cuddle any real, live bit of feminine flesh and blood. Jt is to this shrieking sisterhood, who want the breeches and who would not know how to wear 'em, .that. such papers as "Truth" is anathema. "No character is safe from such a scurrillous rag," is their everlasting cry, as if any man would attempt to take the "character", of one of these termagants if the opportunity "was offered, and these sour jisters pray on bended" knee, that the Government will take steps, to wipe "Truth" out of existence. Such is their sweet charity. These W.C.T.U. dames hold conventions yearly, amd it is remarkable that each convention is held at such, places where there is plenty of life and fun, and where opportunity might lend itself to the stale creatures to BECOME "THORNS IN THEFLESH" of some weak and mere men. This time the critters conventicled at . Christohurch. Delegates assembled from everywhere, and just now the country press, m the absence of scandals m high life, divorce, etc., are filling up space with the reports of the various delegates. Down at Wai-.usr-matev (S.l.)^the '^te^^3&^iL 6 S^ , seem& to,. be^fSarly ong^ ana ™c local rag the other day devoted nearly two columns' . of its space to a report, read by Warmate's delegate to the Ohristchurch convention. .It is .glbrious leading, presenting, a powerful pen picture of the. gathering, which would disgrace even a man of ' Byron's descriptive faculties. Mrs 'Dohrmann, the president of the local branch was the delegate, and the* "Do-a-man" woman let herself go as .follows : ■ . _ ".. . - ' All the meetings were held m the Caledonian Society's rooms, the '7 ••--'delegates being first welcomed at a reception, a brilliant function grac- •- -cd -by such speakers as Bishop Julius, Hons. Fowlds and G. P. Smith, Rev. L. M. Isitt and Cam-p- --; bell and Mr T. E. Taylor. : Ye gods, and the delegates live to •• tell the tale !■ Next we are assured that Miss Roberts acted as ■•'chairarian," and kept things going m inimitable style, and the afternoon's enjoyment was enhanced by good music. Such, a gathering of crowing roosters andy cackling hens would be incomplete without tea, and after this was "idooked" around, up jumped Quuen Cole, at least Mrs Cole, the president of the' N.Z. Union, \y.ho Spoke a few telling words, showing the good humor, tact, and calm good sense which characterised- her. No doubt to speak a piece m such jfiompany she would have to be telling, but why on earth she should be other than good-buimoredy or why she should be tactful is more than our poor minds can understand, though the effort to be calm is quite appreciated. The hen-cackle lasted- eight days, and included the Sabbath ~ And how did it end ! Mrs Dohrmann's pen and feeling;, quite overcame her and her soul soar od high m the Inky Way as she wrote of the enjoyable garden party at The Hon. G. J. Smith's beuit.ful home m Opawa, where, with music,, games and tea, and spacious gardens to wander m, a very pleasant afternoon was spent, ending with regretful farewells. Sad indeed must have been the partings, and it is to be trusted that the Hon. Smith MISSED NONE OF HIS PLATE. In the delegate's well-ohosen language; ••Convention had passed alomst without a hitch." As the viragoes are not over careful with their aitches it is to be presumed that the qualifying "almost" indicated that one or, '"■ ■..more of the killjoys scratched herself occasionally. ■* "The Convention had been," continues this highly interesting report, 'a time for refreshing,' and a splendid opportunity of learning more about the-. work throughout the colony." - Here comes the saddest part, and makes one regret that ,-tfye W.C.T.U. is comprised of women, unlovely, unloving women. "Many acquaintances had been made with fine women whom it was a pleasure to meet and to these our final good-byes had to he said." Still harping on the Carnival of Cant i.e.. the Convention, it is pleasing to know that it "Began and ended with recreation, but through the greater part we spt close, morning and afternoon, often for more than three hours' at a stretch." Poor creatures. So they sat close, morning and afternoon, and m such close weather, and they didn't hatch ai'Vhing. Of. course it is interesting to even the uiwdlv, unbeliever and scoffer to learn what the W.C.T.U. had done diivi!*- 1 . tbe year : I ' "An important piece of work done / by the Union during the year had /. heen promoting a petition against

the totalisator and m this they had the majority of the judges, ministers' of religion and editors on theirside. Ahout 19,000 signatures had been obtained', but no legislation had "resulted." And .all that labor for nothing. It was only natural that Good Queen Cole should have "Expressed her pleasure at the liquorless state of the Exhibition, also at the elevation of Messrs Fowlds and McNab to the Cabinet." But Mr Isitt, good, cold-tea Mr Isitt what of him. He was amongst us. and gave all sorts of messages. Let the "Do-a-man" woman take the floor m her paeans of pure and beatific praise . "It was good to see him 'again, listen to _ his breezy talk and catch his contagious enthusiasm." How catching this enthusiasm must have been. • But fancy Mr Isitt's breezy talk, a delecate hint 1 that HE IS FAR TOO "WINDY,"but talk goes well with cackling hens. ' ' Drink, needless to say, got the very devil shaken out of it, as also did that other nightmare, Gambling. Then a nice chord was struck, and an inkling' of what these Christianised canting cats can do when. what devil there is m them is aroused: Down at Ashburton- Mr Wray, ex-S.M., had been pestered and badgered by the cold-water- crowd till hid official life became a burden to him,' and so he resigned. On his resignation this 'is how' the old hen cackled : "Probably we shall hear less about sly grog m Ashburtton now, since the resignation of Mr Wray. We had with us at convention as delegate from Ashburton, Mrs Lili, who had been instrumental m working this change there, and she was called on to give her experiences. Ashburton had lonrg been sick at heart, through the inability of the :. police to secure convictions m clear _ cas_es of sly. grog, which of course became rampant. Mrs Lili was then president of the A. Union, but she applied to .our capable legal and ss^BllJiffiPS-f1i1.y. ... supe!cinteh'deiit, Mrs Sheppard, who headed' a petition for her, asking for the retirement ,of Mr Wray. Mrs Lili got a number printed, drove round the country giving them out and securing signatures,, getting no encouragsement from her president cr the No-license Council who were afraidTHE PETITION WAS LIBELLOUS. Mrs. Lili persevered, and before very long another man sat m Ashburton m Mr. Wray's seat. We gave this brave woman a hearty clap. In the .good old days .they would ia,Ve burned her at the stake as a witch. Anyttiow, what the W.C.T.U. is capable of doing can be imagined by the "Do-a-man" woman's silly utterances. She has let tbe cat out of the bag, and 'Mr Wray, S.M.; can he sympathised with. Who would care to administer Justice fairly and siquarely m such a place, when he is liable to be cruelly pilloried aad slandered -by a pack bf male and female wolves, whose intolerance m a civilised community should be counted a crime. This "report" is doubly interesting m that while it proves what a lot of magging old meddlers the W.C.T.U. consists of; it also shows it. to be a dangerous gang of garrulous old girls, who want to rob life of every joy, and do not stop at anything, no matter how unscrupulous, to attain their end. Fortunately they are little noticed; and have no influence on any section of the community.' This report, moreover, is a literary treat, and should be treasured, m the archives of the W.C.T.U as showing to what heights of folly a foolish female can aspire.