FAIL'S FAILING.

NZ Truth, Issue 92, 23 March 1907, Page 7

FAIL'S FAILING.

TO THE EDITOB.

Sir, — Your leader of the 16th inst. with tho above heading -was inserted too late, as I have had a builder named White and six of his serfs working this last 10 days with tomahawks and chisels shifting the stink, but some parts of it was that thick they had to use a six-foot crowbar as a lever on to it. lam glad to say we are now beginning to make a little headway. All the same, I thank you for your advice, and if you give me a little more of the same kind I might be scared into giving you a 12 months' advertisement, like you have scared others m the windy city to do. But Fail has a hide as thick as Johnny Norton's (whoso whelp you are), and pretty nigh as well seasoned, so you can't make any impression on him. By the way, talking about stinks, I am willing to put up a tenner as a prize, and let our local inspector of nuisances or your own be the judge as to who has the honor of owning the worst stink, viz., the aroma that exhudes from " Truth " news- 1 paper, your local reporter's breath, Fail's emporium during a nor'-wester, or a Chinese stink pot. Perhaps there is not much to choose between, but I don't think either of the last two will get the prize. Anyway, I ! am willing to take the risk, as if your side ' wins it will go towards helping some of your barley corn clients to pay for their ads. ' Same old love to my old friend with the skating rink on top, dear old Johnny. — Yours, etc., G. R. FAIL. Chriatchurch, March 17, 1907. P.S.— Don't forget your motto, "Audi alteram par tern." [We are very pleased to think that Fail is getting his stink removed per chisel, j tomahawk and crowbar, but we feel sorry for builder White and his six serfs who are doing the removal thereof, their stomachs will surely be sore for some weeks to come, and they must have lost their appetite for fish for ever. As for Fail's invitation to a stink competition, we might be sued for taking money under false pretences if we even nominated. Judging by the sniff we got, we should say that abed bug with congestion of the bowels and a Wesleyan parson's sox are about the only competitors that could make a race of it. Don't worry about tho advt., Mr. Fail, you are doing very well m providing us with copy. We don't want the Earth. — Ed.]