JIM THE MILKER.

NZ Truth, Issue 88, 23 February 1907, Page 6

JIM THE MILKER.

A HELLOVA HEAVEN. The Kent-terrace Prusbeeteeryun Parson Says His Kirk is a Counterpart ef Heaven.

A : plea for better observance " of thc Lord's Day was contained m the annual report of Kent-terrace Presbyterian Chujreh, read at last 1 night's meetin-i*. ' "The attendance on the Lord's Day, particularly m the moripp- should be larger," said the report. "Some are lacking m a due sense of duty and m | the sentiment of loyalty . and attachment to, the house of God ; and •many, it is to be feared, spend the sacred day, m visiting and wordly pleasure. The glowing disregard for the Sabbath is a subject for sincere regret and serious reflection. On one day m the week the pressure of business ceases, and - our manner of spending our *hours of release gives sure indication of our character. The church is the counterpart of heaven, and if its engagements are distasteful and wearisome, may we not fear that ""even m heaven itself the habitual non-churchgoer would feci strange and uncomfortable!" —"Post," Feb. -7 f Here -is a statement -published m fat man's daily rag-?.; The church (Presbyterian.) is the ji counterpart of Heaven. Well yer kncSw that a parson has k great cheek, but I never thought that they would utter sich helish blasphemy as this. Fancy Heaven being like a church ! the parson then p'roceedes to say that lie thinks that coves would get tired of it, . good.- enough if Heaven is -as wearsome as a church good Lord deliver us from it decent coves and covesses dont want having roared into their ears things that every kid knows of course parsons hold out a bribe, to wit if yer hand over all yer money to the fat man m 'this world and be^ lowly and meek yer will get a gold crown and a- jewsharp. m the next world. Further that yer will be allowed to rage and prance through the golden gates also rampage over the jasper pavements, this is all rot wot does a parson no about the business of the Almighty '? but let them rip poor creatures they' are prostituting their miiids for .the sake of lucre and they crucify Christ every Sunday m their churches. He that has ears to hear let him hear. The bosses wife (Madame Sharkey) thinks that it' would be a good thing j for all the parsons to go. to the dairy districts and- then- they- -might"" understand what Christ meant when he said suffer: little children to come unto- me.- Well they are going-quick ' I can tell yer and will go quicker every day as . long -ris -the • parsons worship a quid, otherwise mammon, who are the, parties that devote: their time to destroy every hbribrjible Reeling amongst the people at large ? any novice can tell vet that it is the parson. Of course the parson is ..paid by the fat man and despises a cove with his legs tied up with a boyang. Yer know that their whole stock m trade i - servants obey ver masters, let- the world go to "hell but servants obey yer master's, they^neyer. tell coves' that th&Ticlv man" was ' v fri'' hell while the laborer was m the [kingdom of heaven,- if they did it would offend the fat man so he (the fat) would jump on them with a big jump and soon bring them to heel. The bosses wife (Madame Sharkev. is. grieved that Christianity should be. degraded by a set of overpaid fat greasy coves who take up the trade of parsons, because they are to lazy to^ worx-ick, lord madame nos them she was.. telling me the other ni^-ht when we had, retired for -rest how she was. attacked by a parson the was attracted by her beauty and la married man he wanted madam to abscond with him, there were few j'words but his -nibs was on the street ouick the bosses wife kicked him behind and he : (the parson) went away a sorrufull man as m the, lite his nose was broken his belltoper smashed and Madam Sharkey .stood *ori, the front steps yelling rape fire and brimstone, be off yer scoundrill gb\home to ver wife, is there no cove that will protect me < from this ravislier ? here I came iri and bashed that parson smote him' hip. and thigh then threw him, pn to the waste heap, jbis was the bfeginirig of the • mutual love between me and the bosses wife and since then we have been loving each other all the. time, it Ms gbod,i oh she . is a splendid womiri. ; When Madam Sharky kicked the parson under the coat tail she was following the example of the late lamented Queen who used to kick her maids of honor on the starn only her gracious' laigs were short and she always came down with a thump on, her hind quarters when she did it and I heard that she cussed at a grate rate. Now the bosses wife has good straight laigs very supple as. l could tell yen: if I was- so disposed, butHhe sacredness ■ of the home forbids me no doubt yer -readers understand -'that their ia some delicate questions m matromonial life that canit be exposed to vulgar people. There is a lot of reformation required m this city more especially amongst the fat men who knows no law as regards morality. i JIM THE MILKER.