THE "FUNNYMOON."

NZ Truth, Issue 67, 29 September 1906, Page 7

THE "FUNNYMOON."

["He is on his funnymoon,'^ wrote the de- i fendant m a Birmingham breach of promise i [ case, referring to a newly-married .friend ; i and "funnymoon" is the term applied by ; Pegtopper, of Peckham," to his own past- I nuptial trip.] ; When we started (Pegtopper is .speaking, please note), And by "we" I mean Maude and myself, On our funnymoon trip,. l' had under 'my coat, ; IVT ' ■■■■ In my skyrocket, plenty • of pelf ; And, inspired by the funnymoon feeling, I thought - : I would cast my eyes over the train For an empty compartment, and found what I sought; But I took, all that trouble m vain, For my Maudie preferred an inhabited car To the privacy I should have wished; And that went a long way the day's doings to mar, And my ardor it dismally dished. "Well, it does seem a funnymoon!" glumly I cried ; ; j But I had to let Maude have her way. "I don't want folk to think," said my too bashful bride, "That we only got married to-day!" "Yes, the 'funnyruoon,' that's its right name," murmured I, When we reached breezy Margate aiftfif; For I saw her at other chaps wink her mince-pie, • „ ■ ■.< And,: 'vvhen- speaking to „me, she ,^id I "John," . . - ' " ' I And' not "Jack," as her wqnfc was whence i were engaged; . . '.' "\'\ And the fact was, from what I could see^ i 'T.was each swell passer-byj l and that maae me enraged, ' ' . She had eyes for, and none for poor niei When I rucked, as I had- to do, Maude answered back; ■ ••■•• ' / - ■'.-<! Like a plausible daughter of Eve, ■ "I am trying to put prying folk ' off ;tbo tra.ck; 'Tis my aim make people believe . . That we're not a soft innocent newlyspliced pair, . A safe mark for their laughter, and jeers; For, by carrying on m this way, you can swear ■ j That they'll think we've been married for years!" "Well, it's all in ' the funnymoon pro- j gramme, no doubt," I remarked to myself, and .laid low j When the scatty hotel people reasoned it ! out • • That we'd been married ages ago. i "We are nearly full up," said the manager j bland, ' i "We've two small rooms on different floors; ! If 'twill suit your good Jady, one's hers to command, . ; And the one on the top flight is yours!" | I kept back, with an effort, the words I'd ; have used, j If my Maudie had not been so near, ! But when later she cooed, "You don't seem much amused!" I said gently, but firmly, "My dear, I must bar you from putting on side any more, When we at the next hostelry call; For, if things go on thus, ere the funnymoon's o'er, i They won't think we've been married at ' all!"