HALF-TOLD TALES.

NZ Truth, Issue 66, 22 September 1906, Page 7

HALF-TOLD TALES.

— — ■■">♦ ■■■ - "I have not' heightened, but lowered tbe colors, lest if I told you all bhe.aliock should be too great."— Father Vaughafl, on "the Smart Set." There are many, not so pious as the Farmstreet Juvenal, And who don't attract an audience so vast, Who cull little narratives from life, not too apocryphal, Whioh refer to "sets" by no means "smart" . or fast. Thus the no-class scandalmonger, of the "Hullo 1 old dear!" type, Will oft-times prefer the case to understate, Stopping short, and saying meaningly, just when the story's ripe, "If I told you all, the shock would be too great." In an overheard confab, 'twixt Mrs. A. and Mrs. 8., The first lady said, "Of course, I'm only one ; But this 'smart set' that they talk of ain't the world, it seems to me, And I naturally ask what we have done To be left out m the cold, and have no sermons full of heat Fired, at us, for why should folks of our class wait? I suppose he wouldn't like to make inquiries down our street; If they told him all, the shock would be too great." "What do you think," Mrs; B. replied, "I see he says a lot About what goes on m country houses now; How the girls start romping, smoking fags, and all that sort of rot; Well, our street is m the running, anyhow. If you knew how Liz, at Flinky's flare-up, carried on with Ike, You would hardly call it romping, and that's straight; I ' should say from what I've heard— well, J you can call it what you like; If I told you all, the shock would be too great." I

"I can well believe it," Mrs. A. with gravity j replied ; j "But, dismissing that, if playing Bridge is wrong, Then m circles most respectable, it cannot be denied, ; There are pastimes quite as risky going [ strong. At the best house m the street, where one j expects to meet the crehin, My girl, May, was kidded to participate In a game called 'Hunt the Slipper,' but I won't pursue the theme; If I told you all, the shock would bs too . great." Mrs. B. said, "Yes, I understand!" and added, with some sighs, "Then this married infelicity, my dear ; All this talk about Unfaithful wives, and husbands who are 'pies,' I'm afraid such things are not unknown-, round here. I won't tell you all I know, although it's absolutely true, Re the Fizzlegigs, who Uve at number eight; I 'don't want to overcolor it, because the color's blue; If I told you all, the shock, would be too great." DOSS CHIDBRDOSS.