WANGANUI WHACKS.

NZ Truth, Issue 65, 15 September 1906, Page 4

WANGANUI WHACKS.

The morality of this town has had a very rude awakening. At the Supreme Court a witness m an arson case admitted that he had done those things he should not have done, and left undone those things he should have done. It appears that he was m the habit of having spiritual chats with the lady of the establishment, who had charge of the bedroom utensils, and "whilst so piously engaged heard, saw, and smelt all about the fire. If he had been a good, curlyheaded boy, and had said his prayers before he went to bed, he would have been burnt. The other serious charge was levelled by a sky pilot against the conduct and management of our society kick-ups. It appears that the young bucks and maidens make things too lively, and it is whispered that the old bucks are not far behind, and the elder shes can do a skip and" a shake with a lot of music m it. This going on caused all devout and white-eyed wowsers to shriek with agony for their souls, so the sky .pilot ladled it out spicy hot, and was the cause of several correspondents m the morning wowser asking for a Royal Commission to find

out who was guilty. Of course cold print is not going to let the bird out of the cage, so the pious biblethumpers can holler and yell like hell. It will be like the fleas, they will keep on doing it.»

A . great cry and very little wool has arisen m the House over our river steam service. To be a member of the Jiouse one would think that a man would be noted for his commonsense, but it is not so. Members show more,donkey sense. In fixing up the dispute they simply gave away to the proprietors of the service everything, and left the ground of complaint untouched. There are three things the public want— (l) a uniform price for single or double fares, (2) a proper system of measurement of cargo, (3) the collection of tolls to he taken m hand by the River Trust themselves. As regards the first, it is pertinent to ask why should tourists or any other person pay an extra fare to a settler. It is a subsidised service, catering for the public, and it is unjust that the river proprietors and Cook's Agency should pocket the great difference. If a Wellingtonian desires to see our river he is treated and has to pay just the same as a globe trotter. I Why does not the Tourist Depart l ment take over all the tourist traffic of the colony. and send all tourist agencies about their business. The second and third counts are combined and require attention on behalf of shippers. At present the proprietors of the service simply say the freight is so much, and there is no appeal or means of other transit. As regards the tolls it is the most extraordinary arrangement heard of. The river service collect tolls themselves on behalf of the trust— they charge themselves and collect from themselves. Ask the proprietor of the service if he would allow one of his customers to enter his warehouse and choose and charge himself; It is common talk that the proprietary consist of Ministers of the Crown, past and present, or their relations, and that some of the members of the River Trust have a finger m the pie. All along the line strict attention will be given to the matter, and next year, if t^ere is no improvement, combined action will be taken to get the Government to put on steamers. All classes of persons say they have had enough of it.

There was consternation m the "dog box" over the way the services^ of the employees at the Wellington* Working Men's Club were paid and treated, as exposed m last issue" of "Truth." It seems all club servants are-, very badly paid for the ' hours they work. The "dog box" can't hold up its celluloid collar or shake down its cuffs and say "How shameful" to their brother clubmen m the wind* 7 - city. They tar their employees with the same brush up here. I am told, the highest ,js £135, free house, gas and firing, with two long-sleev-ers or a two finger peg of spirits a day. Then £2 ss, £2 2s 6d and £2 run the rest, with the same soul restoring comforts m the booze line. The scratcbetsecretary gets the bun, with £75 and the same booze privileges. The members do not seem to trouble about it,, but if it hit themselves m their trade unions, they would damned soon jump round. Sosweating goes on to the disgrace of its members, and things drift. "Tote George, being a bit of a screwer m the wages line, has temporary sway, but if he had to tap heels and soles all day he would find that it was a vast difference to running a gambling machine.

** . • The Royal Hunt Club banquet was a great affair. The ostensible purpose of this gathering was to foster, friendship, between the riders of crocks and banged tailed, one-legged swingers who follow the pussy hunt; at ranging from two to five, miles from the lead, and the surroun-. ding cockatoos whose fences, ducks, fowls and family cat have. been bru-. tally knocked about. The chair was taken by "Smiler," who shows, to great advantage at these affairs. In his introductory remarks, he said that all present were aware that he took a great interest m sport, especially racing and hunting. As the owner of Sedge . Here a guest called out, "To hell with the brute ;. I lost a quid over him." "So did I, Bill," exclaimed another; "he was daisy digging instead of daisy clipping." Order being restored the speech was cut short, as members began to handle their knives m a bloodthirsty manner, so the head waiter cried "Off" to a beautiful start, all jumping off simultaneously. After a twenty minutes hard run, a halt was called, and the buttons of .waistcoat and trousers were loosened to get a breather. The farming interests was proposed by a person who does not know a carrot from a spud, but is always about when "bankets" are on. Mr Mangle Wu'rzle responded. He said farming was a sore thorn m the' flesh. It was cowspanking for ! a time, then frowning freezers, then wool, everything for wool ; . and he noticed that their local freezing chair-, man- said that when wool was down it was up, and when it was up it was down. He called this "parrydoxical." Well, he didn't get two hundred a year to talk classics, but he knew when his old woman's wool was up, it was up with a hell of a lot of yoke m it, and when it was down was as soft and as kind as a scrubbing brush. He would say no more, as his friend Bill was a clearing round about them, and he had his eye on a yeller wobly wobby. The appointments and serving were equal to Delmonico ; the only fence that gave trouble was the tipsy cake. One guest had a taste, and discarding it called to his brother, and then, placing the plate at the edge of the table shot it across. This is the latest smart set style of passing. All good things must come to an end, so homeward bound was the order, some to get silent, but wrought with meaning, welcomes from their better halves ; others tried to evade that awe-inspiring ' and perilous situation by getting m the chaff bin or squeezing into the oven with boots on. Anyway, no bones were broken, only a fright to the housewife who was startled by her husband opening the oven door, and popping his head out, exclaiming, "I say, Eliza, it is getting damned .'hot herei"-