JIM THE MILKER.

NZ Truth, Issue 60, 18 August 1906, Page 5

JIM THE MILKER.

Interviewed by Mis Patient's Husband,

Who, Armed With a Big Stick, Protests Against Jim's Laying On of Hands.

"The Bosses Wife" Has Political Aspirations for Jlin.

When I wrote to yer last it was explaned that when I was called to examine a lady's inside that a spook had got into, all was well after I had laid me hands on her. Yer can understand me surprise when her husband noked at me door with a big stick m his hand, the servant opened the door. Well Sir, he says, "Is perfessor Sharkey m." "Yes. H Then this bull-headed cove says to me, "Air yer the great spook raiser." " Yes," says I ; there is no doubt about that, I can raise the whole push of them from Adam to John the Babtist, who used to go yelling m the wilderness, whot is yer trouble me man if yer want to consult me down with yer stuff or I will order me flunkey to put yer out., On hearing me speak he saw that I was a first-class filosfer and was very quiet. "Well, Proffesor Sharkey," says he, ''yer called on me wife didn't yer?"" "Yes," says I. "Did yer lay yer hands on her."- "Yes, I did." -"Well Professor don't yer do it again, this spook racket is going to far, how is a man going to keep his wife strait if jokers like you keeps laying hands on them ; it is dangrus Professor, it is dangrus, i puts it to yer as a man of the world, 1 ' "Yes," I replied to him, "Yer would be right if yer were dealing with the flesh, but yer haven't got the spiritual hang of the job the true spiritual job. no yer are m bitter -darkness, did yer think thai) a spiritual cove like me thinks of the flesh. Oh, no, yer are far wrong, and if yer come here again with yer lo down hints I'l breack yer back, you ought to be thanful that I have cured ver wife, she don't think much of yer anyhow yer ain't a spiritual bloke." With this talk he got pail on the face and swore at me and talked' about a gun but I lifted him with the tow of me boot out of the door. Husbands has no show m this line of busness, we spiritual blokes put them down every time. I would rite more but there is a dozen women 'waiting to consult me about pains m the bely and other parts. This beats cow-spanking at Taranaki, and the boses wife, and me air going strong and' mixing with the fat of the land. My God they are a poor push to deal with I can tell you that, yer would not credit the side that is put on by the welthy lower, orders, it would sicken a Chow— just so. The other .night when me and the bosses wife, Madame Sharkey, went to bed she seemed a bit cold, yer must know that when she is m good nix she always kisses me at thel back of the ears and genully, speakin makes herself highly aggrebble, but on this occasion it was no go- So I said to her, "Wot's wrong, have yer a spook inter yer inside, if ye have tell me and I'l lay me hands on yer and cure the trubble strait of. l? Well she bepan to cry and sob and squeel,, "Jim, yer have no ambition, wha fo do'vyer not enter politicks with yer ability yer might be a minster of the Crown, a woman a spookist told me so, and let me tell yer she is a member of the womans' leegue, and nos all them jobs well." "Well, well my dear," sez I, "Wot am I to do?" "Do, why don't yer be a member of the freetrading, hard-working amalga-. mated society of antd-monopolists., Yer know that yer was- always a true friend to the hard-wurking man, yer can't deny it,, mv oath, dear : Jim, ver ought to let yer mind sore and fly at high game. Spook raising is all right, there is money m it, but now that we are m the higher warks. ol life yer must do justice to me and our kids> Alderney and Durham. Well 1 I think there is a great dccl of com- 1 mon knowledge m her remarks as I am a very poplar men, thanks to» "Truth* and knowing the kind of jockers that I would meet m the House I ain't a bit aff eared of them, not me, so next election me war paint is on and yer can depend tha.tr yer will hear about the writes of tha wurking man. f JIM THE MILKEB,