Smile Awhile

New Zealand Times, Volume LII, Issue 12324, 19 December 1925, Page 16

Smile Awhile

Lady (to tramp): Yes, I have an old pair of my husband’s trousers, but I am afraid they are too large around the waist for you. Tramp: Well, lady, couldn’t ye gimme a dinner that would make ’em fit? • • « • John,” said mother sternly, "someone has taken a hig piece of cake out of the pantry.” John blushed guilty. “Oh, John,” she exclaimed, “I did not think it was in you.”"’Tain’t,” replied John; "part it’s in Marjorie!” • « * • Dear old lady (to porter): “How long does the train stay at this station, my man?” Porter: Four minutes, ma’am, from two to two to two-two.” Dear old lady: Oh, goodness, the man thinks he’s the whistle 1 •** . • “Coming in for a swim, Tommy?” “No, my mother won’t Jet me. “Come on in! She’ll never find out.”"Yes, she will—it’s me hath night to-night.” First lady: The cheek of that tram conductor. He glared at me as though I hadn’t paid my fare. Second lady: And what did you do? First lady: 1 glared right back as though I had. • # • e First man: “I think I saw you in this hotel last year. I remember your overcoat.” Second mau: “But I didn’t own it then.” First man J “No, but I did.” • • • a “Now, Willie.” said the masteri “how much is six times six?” “Thirty-six, sir,” said Willie promptly- “ That’s pretty good,” said the master. “Pretty good!” exclaimed Willie indignantly. “Hang it all, sir, it’s perfect.” • * * • Fussy old lady (as tram car slows down): “Oh! which end do I get out, conductor?” Conductor (fed up): “Oh, it don’t matter, lady; it stops both ends!”