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New Zealand Times, Volume LI, Issue 12022, 27 December 1924, Page 13

Going out to dinner a doctor wnf partnered by a guishing young lady, “Is it true, doctor,” she asked, “that you are a lady-killer?” “Madam,” replied the doctor, “I make no distinction between tile eexes.” A curator of a certain zoological garden was on a holiday. He received a note from his assistant: “The chimpanzee is sick. He appears to pine for a companion. We don’t know what te do pending your return!” A highbrow traveller at a railway station approached an express, which was ready to start. “Is this train rear for occupancy?” he asked. Trainman: “No. sir. Tliis train goes to Concord, Whitefiold, and Portland.” A certain country rector used to wait until the squire arrived before he began his service. One morning, however, he quite forgot him. and began: “When tlie wicked man ” “Stop, sir!” said the clerk. “He ain’t come yet.!? A: “Agnes is looking as young as ever.” B: “Yes, but she says it costs her more every year.” "We were so amused at our Irish nurae," said a lady to her friend. "I told her we should send the children to the Isle of Wight, and she said she was afraid the air was not ‘embracing’ enough." ' “Well." was the laughing reply, “ask her if the Isle of Man would be more to her fancy.” "Well, Beggie, what are you doing now?” “Travelling in musical instiuments. Sold a thousand yesterday.” “Good heavens, man! Pianos?” “No. Gramophone needles.”