CHUCKLES IN COURT

New Zealand Times, Volume LI, Issue 12016, 19 December 1924, Page 14

CHUCKLES IN COURT

(From a London Correspondent.! Scene. —A London police aonrt. Han in the dock charged with sending a child under age for? a. packet of cigarettes. A Constable givesevideno* and produces the cigarettes. - The presiding magistrate daces a small black velvet skull cap on his head, presumably to- keep out draughts. The court is hushed. / And suddenly from the back of tbs building there comet a hoarse whisper that is heard a& ever the court: *Tstmmel They're going to Ung him!* A SCOT'S “RETURN.'* Scotswoman at Willesdent "1 only came to London last wash from KdinHagistrate: "Did you take a return ticket P" "I did, sir, but I’m npt 'going beck. The tqturn excursion ticket was cheaper than a single." COURTEOUS I : 1 'i m Except for calling you a lying old cat, IvM always polite to you."—-Woman to htr landlady at ClerkenWell. i DIBCIPLES OF ANANIAS. Prisoner (at Thames police court, recently .to a witness: "How can be stand thths and tell ench lies" • .* Magistrate: "I don’t know; it does oocur or times." ” * . A STRIKING AFFAIR. ■Solicitor (at Mansfield): "Did be strike you,as an untruthful witness?" ' Woriian; "Yes, he struck me first." • MISUNDERSTOOD. ■ “What; is your Christian nameP" was the question put to a defendant in the Leeds-.city court - Defendant: "Oh, Im a Roman Catholic.” ■ , ’ MODERN BILL fieDAMS. Rgaband (at WillesdenV: “‘My wife auhoyk .me by telling the neighbours that' tSn the only man who won the •war." ' NO HECKLER. "Do you want to ssk him a-question on what hb saysF" asked the Acton magistrate of' a defendant, who replied : "No, ■ sir; I ain’t much of a scholar." ’ KEEPING.HIS SPIRITS UP. r>l was- by myself—but I had a bottle in'iny pocket —A prisoner' at North London, police court.