HUMOUR FOR CHRISTMAS

New Zealand Times, Volume LI, Issue 12016, 19 December 1924, Page 11

HUMOUR FOR CHRISTMAS

ODDS AND ENDS 1.. " ■■'■■■■ ■■ ' - Miyi/ "You’ve an honest boy,*but (he « money I . lost was .a' ten-dollar nofe.” ■ Boy: "Yps, I know; I-had its changed SO' i yon could give me a reward." ~ , : .The .teacher held up a picture,,of a Sebra. "Now, children;' what is this “It looks to gio like a* pony in a bathing' ■ suit?” answered li'.Ue Willie; • , v -v* .} • Small Boy.:' “Say; pop, what is an echo.". ' Pop (looking at Mrs Pop): "An ; echo, rrty son, is the only, thing that, keeps « woman from having'the, last VoHi." : . ■ Tommy ;h “Teacher, can anyone - he . punished for something they didn’t do?" - Teacher: "Why, no, of course not." Tommy: "Well, I haven’t done my arith. metie. ' - Jones: "What sort of a time is your friend havingon .his. motor tour?" Smith: “Great! I’ve had two letters from him '—one from a police station and the other from.' tt hospital.” a ‘.U’in very careful: I always send Iny children out'of the house before I qua rxel with my-, husband." "The little deem, ’ they lobk so healthy from spending their time in the Open air." Dentist_ (showing visitor round his sur-' gery; - :' ‘ The teeth in his display 'cabinet were all taken from famous literary - •men.’’ Visitors: “Extracts from famous authors, ab'-to speak." ."You are accused of stealing three chickens. Do you plead guilty or not guilty?". “Not guilty, sir I Any man twho-, calls them old hens chickens ain’t acquainted with the truth!” Examing Physician (to applicant -for insurance) :‘ T H’mi young man, there is , , something the- matter with your heart," '.; Applicant : “Your daughter'found that • out a long time ago, doctor.” Smith: "Hear about Harrowby?” His caddie laughed at one of his strokes, and be flaw into,arrange and strung his.driverat the boy.” Brown: "Did he?*’. '.Wife* Harrowby- arrested?" "No; ho couldn't ' even hit the caddie!" '' - ' *