ODDS AND ENDS

New Zealand Times, Volume LI, Issue 12008, 10 December 1924, Page 16 (Supplement)

ODDS AND ENDS

CHRISTMAS JOIvELETS. “Mijrht tout name be Smith?" asked one Yankee of another. “Yes, it might; but it ain't by a long chalk/* Visitor (to a little girl); “And what will you do, my dear, when you are as big as your mother?" Modem Girl; “Diet." “Ah, you have a dog. I thought yon didn't like dogs." “Well, I don't. But my wifo picked up a lot of dog soap at a bargain sc.le." Ancient Beau: “A man is never older than he feels. Now I feel as fresh as a two-year-old." Sweet Young Thing; “Horse or eggr" Dash; “I don't think my wife conld tell a li© in 32 months." Blank: “You're fortunate. My wife ran tell a lie the instant I utter it." Visitor; “This isn't a dwarf I He's over five feet in height" Showman; “That’s the wonderful thing about him. He is the tallest dwarf in tko world." Hubby: ‘No woman ever takes another woman's advice about frocks." Wifie: “Naturally. You don't ask your enemy how' to win tlio war." Percy: “Did yon ever try to trace back your ancestry?" Adolphus: “I did. It was very difficult, and at last I found myself completely up a tree." A class of small hoys was asked to describe the meaning of Soviet. One email boy wrote. “A word used in middle-class households to describe napkins." Buskin: T can't go on. I haven't any make-up." Manager: “What are you playing to-night?" “The fool in—." “Go on, then; never mind the make-up." Teacher (during a lecture on success): **Why should we endeavour to rise by our own efforts?" Tommy: “Because there'* mo knowing when the alarm clock may go wrong "