ABSTRACTS AND BRIEF CHRONICLES

New Zealand Times, Volume XLIII, Issue 10087, 28 September 1918, Page 4

ABSTRACTS AND BRIEF CHRONICLES

(BY THE STAFF.) 'They are tlie abstracts and' brief chronicles of the times."—Hamlet. From being an exhilarating form ol low comedy, the. political game is rapidly degenerating into ;i screaming farco. \o't only do tho public refuse to- take it seriously, but candidates for the stii-I'-a-os of the free and independent o-lc'tors regard the election campaign as a huge joke. This will be regarded as unpardonable levity by those who take the present by-election seriously and who regard it as having an lutijnato connection with the winning ot the war, but people of far-seeing vision Will regard it. as a sign of the tunes and as forecasting the day when, Democracy will be a. fact rather man a somewhat plaved-out figure of speech. Tho motto of the coming democrat will be "Every man his own politician, and Government by proxy will die a natural dcalth. No doubt tho kind ci candidates coming forward nowadays will contribute to this end. . V.hen people who could not run a fried-fish shop become legislators the long-suffering public will begin to realise that a joke can bo carried too far, and will seriously consider the wisdom and tho possibility of minding their own business, lieu who talk for a living will be- obliged to -do something more productive—or perhaps go into vaudeville.

The llinsti-cl Boy writes in. protest against the opinion expressed by the l-'ooioiopher taat ihe verse of the former published iatt week was obscure—was -us ob.-cuie t.-s the lectures 01 the Hon. "Tom,'' to •wit. The Foolosopuer ■ n that he is editor of these columns iiai fin advantage over all other contributors, and it -ist the-retore difficult to p.ury, much less return the thrusts that, he gives in tie fullness of his heart, and with unstinted generosity, out has u ever occurred to the Fooisopher that most of the sublime versu of our language is more or less obscure —that Browning, whoso greatness as a poet is by no means generally recognised, abounds in obscurities It is recorded' that Browning, when asked to <uvts the -meaning ot an. -apparently senseless passage, replied that although he did not now know what it meant, it must'have some meaning or he would uot have written it. When a- poet's--w«A:ks- are obscure there spring , into y.u»t.-enoe sociotie.s for 'the -'interprtHa-, lion of his verse. Thus we have Browning Societies, Tennyson Societies, Shelley Societies, and perbaps 'come day Minstrel Boy Societies. Even as far back as the thirteenth century Danta recognised that his fame greatly depended on making his poetry obscure, tie therefore at one time implied that Beatrice was a real live person, at another time she was symbolical of the Church, and at another of Philosophy. But to coma to a more penuanent fig-ure.-than tho great Italian poet : we have tlia'Too'.osopber himself under ;! a' pen "name, which is another Knil«of" obscurity Surely then the Footosophcr should not object to anyone making uso of a vague expression in verso. Ino offending part of last week's effort was tho expression "tiring wind." It is a question whether this is , vague, but there can be no question that it is not obscure In other words, the meaning is "wind that having blown for. somo considerable time, is now dying down.' Bnt surely it is more poetical to say "tiring winds," and how much briefer. i Tho above petulant outburst <at the" SJipstrtd Boy .is given.the- light of; day,, :so "fhnt readers and' writers ol ttiesw columns can judge how well or ill-found-ed it is. The- budding genius should remember that, the Foolosopher' has dono much to foster his poetic art, and also that 'although 'Browning is obscure, the Minstrel Boy is not • a Browning—at least not as yet. When he becomes a Browning, people wilL put up with his obscurities. The Foolosopher indulges largely in obscurity himself, just as Socrates hid his divine wisdom by pretending to be stupid—not that tho Axxdosopher compares himself to . Soc■rates, of course—but the:-object of tho obscurity should bo apparent. It is the tantalising fact that the Minstrel Boy seems to have too imcli' of what is known as the "Keltic fog'/' in his otnerwiso admirable compositions that called forth tho criticism. It is a. mistake to 'think that the Foolosopher' abuses his functions as editor, or; objects to criticism- of his august self. On tho contrary, he is constantly treading on the, coat-tails of aU- and sundry' and getting blue-mouldy for want of an. argument, which he loves-as-much as an Irishman -loves a ot. Let this bo au instruction.. * * » '" Tho megalomania of tho rulers :of Germany iaa developed into.madness. Megalomania is tho delusion of greatness. Madness is the delusion of fixed ideas. These two forms of mental degeneracy explain the state of mind of tho modern Germans, and also tho peculiar morality, logic and sense of honour now made m Germany. They also explain the explanation of Count v«n Hertling, the German Chancellor, in regard to the invasion of Belgium by tho Boehe. Ho said that if Germany had not ._ acted quickly the enemv would .have- anticipated tho move and invadod Belgium. Germany's conscience Was clear, because she offered the Belgians money for the promise' of neutrality when first overrun. The offer was even -repeated after the fall of Li«re. • » • ; This .is. a.Proof of 'sheer madness—that is an abnormal wav of using the mental faculties. Hertling and his fellow Junkers cannot understand that money cannot buy everything. Gold would not buy tho soul of Belgium—but as Germany offered the (fold in good faith, Germany's conscience is clear! It is as if a madman, obsessed with the fixed idea that whatever he did could bo justified, broke, into his neighbour's, house, killed his wife and children, destroyed tho grounds, ransacked the dwelling and took away the silver plato and-tho oil paintings. On the madman's neighbour expostulating and saying that this was hardly neighbourly conduct, the madman coolly wipes tho blood off his murderous knife, takes out -a sovereign and hnmls it to the injured man, not as compensation, but in consideration of being allowed to complete his murderous and burglarious enterprise. - This kind of losric is the logic of a- madman. A nation whoso leaders seriously put: it lorv.'aj'd is nothing -short of mad. ,Indeed, it is capable of scientific, proof that the G<>rmnn people Jiavo cone mad. Kant, their greatest philosopher, la'id down his conception of absolute morality' in th" words of his famous Cat gorical Impel.! i.ivc- -Act so that the principles of th/ conduct may bo'the law for all "rational br-ii'igs. The .Kaiser and his war-mad Junkers have reversed this and act so ■that the principles oi; their conduct would be repudiated by Bo.el7.ebub himself.

Tho statement that tho Oiiicf Justice suggested in .the Supremo Court thia I.celt that to settle* a difficult point iu a certain case tho respective parties should. "loss up" rather scandalised tho mind of tho Handy Man this week.. This coupled with a heavy supper, 110 doubt *>.ccounted for a most distressing dream ho had. Ho dreamt ho was reporting a big murder case at the Supremo Court. •The Chief Justice was on tho bench, a bell topper tilted to a raking angle surmounting his wig. Ho was puffing away at a big fat cigar. So wan'tho liegistrar of the Court. Tile priwmei; in tho dock was a. prominent prohibitionist, who was charged with fatally .slabbing a well-known hrowcr with a cork screw. The twelvo jurymen., (who were cx-bookies) were en-

deavouring to listen to the evidence uurinsr the brief interval when the i'oie:nan dealt "poker hands" tn them. V nomam feature about the trial appeared :« be that whenever there was any contradictory evidence the Judge innneduueiv ordered the Crown Prosecutor and counsel for the defendant to toss up to fettle the dispute. Whichever lawyer .von the toss was immediately ordered by the Chief Justice to shout tor the crowd (press and prisoner excepted, both he'ng prohibitionists). The court was heavy with the Uinies 01 rank cigars) eoins rattled merrily, tho -corks popped, ind tho glasses clinked. Finally eveiyona was either drunk or incapable, excepting, of course, the pri.-oner and liu I'riss." lit the midst of this distrensinc <t?uo the prisoner quietly made his .gelaway, and tho disgusted and highly indignant reporters likewise left as there an s no case to report. So H can be seen'what a demoralising effect such a suggestion as "tossing-up," coming fron no less a person than the Chief Justice, can have on the unsophisticated mind of a young reporter.

The Ancient Mariner wandered along n> the theatre the oilier night and dis-. covered that the model modern play is ono in which a high salaried list of artists sit in the dark and- say nothing. Tho man who has anything to say is a detective specially imported from Now, York, and what he says is said so hurriedly with his. back to the audience, that no one he'ars what ho has to say.; American assurance is a wonderful thing. « * * The Elder Bard contributes an election ballad, which, considered strictly us a ballad, is like the curate's egg, good it parts:— , Hi-diddle-diddle, stroke the stupid fiddle! Let the" game of politics have its use'iesf run! Hi-diddle-diddlo, bang it in tho middle! And ue »uo wins v uod bless him:, .3 entitled to the bun. This is Mister Tanner who Both sport a speedy motor. In overalls he looks sublime. Most tempting to the voter. And everywhere proud Cyril goes. ■n iV. . r."' There seems no doubt so fast a man Should really piovv piogre=si\e. Chorus:' y-.rtKVlln.fVdr!'-. \ a 'illy tune 1 Hi-diddle-diddlo, sing it like a coon! Politics, knavish Hicks, let them ~a-e their fling! With a hi-diddle-diddle and a ting-a-ling-a-ling. 'Tis Harry Atmore here we see, Who speaks with fiery p. ;m. And tears the Government to bits According to the fashion. =. All Ministers feel ill at ease ' And Cabinets go under When "Sleepy Hollow's" radical Uplifts his voice of thunder. Ah! here is Mister Efmjay Mack Upon a water wagon. Ho wears tho yellow emblem, And drinks limejuice from a flagon, He spurns tho naughty cup that cheers, And makes glad topers..shiver, ':,.'."'.,.".. When ho condemns -the. pewter -and - ''- Extols tho shining fiver. Xow Mister Hildreth comes along, Much milder than a curate, Le*ss garrulous than all the rest; For talk, ho can't endure it. ' And so ho goes his quiet way, And modestly announces "I am "the chosen party man; I'm worth my weight in ounces." stumjv- . He"riouncing"'prouTeers; J "" "V". 7The>-J.'"'»t>mau. shudders at-lsis voice','* ' -'- And drops a thousand tears. He waves a flag of ruddy hue, • And says things that you sigh at. ; Sorno say ho sings "God Save tho King."!' (But only 611'tho" quiot). And last there comes the "sojer boy." His voice is now his powder, And when he fires tho vocal gun, Ho grows a good deal prouder. And if you dare to challenge him. - He'll-drive you from your trenches; -^ When die's M.P sortie deadly bomb's ' Will fly between the benches. Hi-diddle-diddle, what a silly tune! Hi-diddle-diddle, our fate is coming soon. Politics, knavish tricks,' rotten to tho core. Still it's hi-diddle-diddle ns you shouted it before. The Living Wage is fast becoming what i$ known, as a social problem. It keeps folk awake o' nights, and appears toi-haye-'baffled even tho mighty cerebrum of ..His Worship tho Mayor, John P. Luke, Esq., C.M.G., M.P., to give him his full-dress _title. • Now there is.jio need to worry over a mere figure of speech like the liv(,ing wag/a. It is a mere idea, like the' "Law of Supply and Demand" —and when the- Foolasopher is dono with it it will . vanish into very thin air, leaving a gene-l-ral air of relief behind it. First of all what is meant by a living wage? , No one serins to know. Is it a wage on which the horny-handed son of toil can iive-ahd inp'ioduce his kind? According;! to ono school of sociological writers,, -wages tend to reach this bare subsistence levtel. Another set of thinkers regard it as impossible for wages to sink below the living or subsistence level. John Stuart Mill, an eminent political economist, was j of that opinion. This 1111111 was a -mere I brain on legs. "He started to learn Greek at the age of four, and never knew wlnt it was to ho a child. His father dedicated h'inv to tho service of philosophy. Consequently John Stuart Mill went through the mills of culture and wrote books on political economics and logic,and won a great name amongst people who are unablo to think for themselves—having no apparatus for the .purpose —and'consequently get their opinions out of books. Mill declared that- wages never could go below subsistence level, because if they did the workers would starve, and this would result in n shortage of labour, and a consequent, rise- in wages, according to tho well-known law of supply and demand. Of course the natural law of selfpreservation and the tendency of labourers to object to being starved also came into play.'so that fhe.ro i* no record in history of wages falling below subsistence level to such an extent that «tnrvntion, had to restore them to a living standard. -All this; Hrvirlv Ulnsl rates Uvi'i by a wise, dispensation of Providence it -;•= for way!- In fall !,.!„.,• .. Hvine- stanrlriivl--'h'r-ne.- ':!.;.) -,!| I ], ■- „„.,. The l'r hum a-, „,.-.,.' , '. ■,<■: ••--. „;;.■■■ ,<■-■ j I'l.lt Wh '■< lh,-v ",-i-i ',-.. i ;,:,-. 1',,..,, '-. living -v.-n••"■.. a vcm' '•'■■■. in- v. ■.:■■■, a .To :t Wage, or they mav :: -, forth"- ami -ay Ihev claim the value ~'' Ci,- s»avii'o' s irrespective of one arlifieia! renditions whatever. Tt- is clear, of course, that Ihev <:et a livim ■««« u«'v.—o- •■'- . ::■ ..- would have perislicl „f stnrvnHnn loivr -go. rt could be- proved n h-o Urn I fh-y "••'t more titan a ]ivjr":r ..-f.fr--. f.'nr '••... ■--tiHice, all of lh"m rs'<nr boots and bats. Viw. boo's riTid hats are not riT>'.!-:ayio-j af life. _ Trninwavmen covM ?'et (hrmirrb . Mir-.i.- work ' very w>>ll without 1 either boots or bats. Not to .sptjalc /if the snv- : n<r of WMWS efteote.t 1-v thc-if shoddv .Riirvrfluilics of en cdteto, -.vd luxurious rivi 1 i--n linn. going bootless 1.1.1 halless would iiimii : , -aving i:i the cost of cures for corns p.od bunions, ako haii" restorer, "becaui-e 'boots ».r« •+■>—

'cause of tho two first, and hats are wellknown producers of bald heads. Morct>. er, the coiumctors and drivers of our daily trams live in houses for the most (li-rt'—uu unnecessary luxury. - Life could be supported well enough in a tent. These to. asiiterafions, together with the. unanswerable logic of that logic-miller Mill, (>' .civ' proves that the Living Wage is a fallacy—something that may be aimed at, but never secured. Because, if the ti...ii.va.\mi.'ii go on increasing their standard of iiving and claiming that as Mayor Luke smokes good cigars there is no reason why their wages should not be increased so as to include these luxuries, w.:ere is the thing going to stop? As •Jong as the Living Wage keeps just above subsistence level there is no danger, because if it fails below it, the tramwayli! en would starve; there would bo a shortage; and the City Council would •have 10 raise the wages to ge.t men. So that the laws of Naturp have safe-guard-ed the rights of tho toilers; but if they go on making unnatural demands to meet their artificial tastes for luxuries tho next thing will bo tho refusal of the workers to act as conductors or drivers of cars on the plea that it is below the dignity of. a human being. Which, of course', would be absurd, although there, are thousands of folk in Wellington who would regard it as below their dignity— Mavor Luke, for instance.