A Chemist’s Joke

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIII, Issue 7853, 15 July 1911, Page 11

A Chemist’s Joke

Simple Thing of Many Letters

DIOXY-DIAMI-DOARSE-NO-BENZOL. Feeling one’s way through this orthographical coil, each reader will hyhenate it as his sense ' of rhythm prompts. The -Dioxy-diami measure chances to appeal most to the present writer.

But the joke is the reason for worrying the reader with the word—for it does worry one to think . that the linotype inacuine broke loose at this point and spilled several slides of letters when the operator was not looking. How to account for the carelessness of the proofreaders were more difficult, so perhaps we shall have to take the word as meant in sober earnest, and g.ve over worry to wonder. , ,

l'he opening remark in the article in a popular journal which boasts this naming headpiece is tne'juke. Whether or hot a -professor ol chemical affinity Knows aught of the propert.es of that peculiar precip.tate called humour, which—often too precipitately, perhaps —touches some dmi seeming solution to life ana reveals the maKiugs or a gooa laugh at the bottom ol a tasteless draught, certainly his wiseacre article starts off with a joke of the very first water, and that means one that does not nave to be precipitated in, oraer to bo perceived, but exists in and of and tor itself.

The editors had asked the professor to write a simple artioie to explain m language tree 'irom technicalities something auout the wizard work of chemistry, especially as it is applied to tne uses of every-aay life. bo, in order to be as s.mp.o and popular as possible and come as close to tho thought of the public as he may, the considerate savant heads his article , with the above choice collection trom the Bngnsn alphabet, evidently proud of his sOif-restia.ut in refraining from Greek, Hebrew, or cryptograms like GIQ and A. 04. Bioxy-aiami-auarse-no-benzol is pronounced tit one can pronounce it at ail) One ol tne very most practical discover.es of the time, “at least as important as tho aictograph, and the walking wharf"—whatever those may be. But il it is really going to be proved a thing oi use in the dauy task, the common round, the cnemical affin.tists will have to call it something tor snort. In 'a spirit of venturous humility and out of honest sympathy lor the tradespeople, who will deal in dioxyd.aulidoarsenobcnzol, one offers “d.doz’’ as a pet name ol Classical affinities and one likely to provoke a chemical reaction in favour of an article which now could hardly claim to be a graceful ornament for a parlour table, and invites investigation rather less alluringly than a barbed wire fence.

Lest the reader assume, however, that its name is the most effective thing about dioxydiarse—no, dioxydiamidoarecnobenzol, let it be added that it is a dye of a brilliant carmine hue, and warranted like other didoz originating in seats of learning to paint almost, anything red. —American pacer. CHEAPEST GAS SUPPLY The Widhes (England) Town Council, which has tor many years had the credit of supplying the cheapest gas in the world, recently, resolved on a further ieduction in price, the pretivs being in escees of , thtxe of any previous year. Inc reduction bungs tue net price down to Is Id per thousand cubic leet to small consumers using ordinary metei-s, lid to consumers who use ntone ; than 3,et0,00i) cubic feet per annum, and 9d to users of gas for motive power. Consumers who take their supplies through prepayment meters are to be charged at the rate of Is 61 d per thousand cubic feet. According to the “Gas World/' the Sheffield Gas Company rank nert to Widnes as the purveyors of cheap gas. i