Page 9 Advertisements Column 1

New Zealand Times, Volume XXIX, Issue 6382, 3 December 1907, Page 9

The following is given aa an example of the humours of a Glaswegian schoolroom: Teacher—>“ What arc the eyes of a potato for?" Boy—’’To soo wiV' Teacher (perplexed)—“Next boy please." The next boy—“To -wink wiV' The teacher asserts that so great is the fund of humour amongst the juveniles that not one of them deigned to relax a muscio in appreciation of this bright sparkle. Wo should spend money without stint on <jnxr «choo l-ch ildron and our aged poor (saye Frank’ Holmes, in tho “New Age"): cm tho former for the sake of the national welfare, on tho latter for the sako of tho national honour. Wellington has now got a pipo band. You hear people say “1 like the bagpipes at a distance/* and the long pause indicates tho length of tho distance. How would' you Tiko to bo hit by n Shiellpaixrdoh>Ob’iycondefcrspoortvegpitroolrijtung? This extended name is a tongue-IVwis ting Dutch name for a motor car, and is derived from “snell," rapid; “paardelhos/’ horseless; “yoonjdoonrpoorwcg/ 4 without rails; “pitreoli}timg," driven by petroleum. Only a native of Holland can pronounco it and live. Perhaps the most touching example of misapplied ingenuity (says the “ W«stmintrtor Gazette’') is the daily diligent march of our Custom House officials for the man who would bo guilty of smuggling tobacco from Franco. Obviously they have nover smoked I’rench tobacco! Etiglish medical men are evidently about to emulate linglish judges. A policeman declared at Richmond tho ether dav that “The doctor administered «n aneoaoto!” “"Newspaper reporters ami gentlemen -armed with cameras Jiave been sent up to Newport in shoals, duly to chronicle the love-making of Miss Gladys Vanderbilt and Count} Ladialaus Szeehonzi.” If this sort of thing becomes general, no breach of promise cfusro will evor, o bo defended in the future, and another form of light reading will lx) lost There is more* variation among the divorce laws of different nations than among tho laws governing any other matter.