FOR DULL MOMENTS.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXVII, Issue 5737, 4 November 1905, Page 11

FOR DULL MOMENTS.

She: “My brother tells me you hav* been going in for a little speculation on tie Stock Exchange lately. Were you a bull ora bear?” He: “Neither, I was an ass.” Customer: “You say, then, that tils material is tho latest?” 'Shopman ; “The very latest, madame. “But will it fade in the sun ?” “Why, it has been lying in the window for two years, and look how welil it has stood.” A Scotsman, having hired himself to a farmer, had a cheese set down bo fore him that he might help himself. Presently his master said to him, “Sandy, you take a long time to dim ner.” ■ ■ “In troth, master,” answered ho, ‘a cheese o’ this size is no sae soon cal.on as ye may think.” Bishop Goodman (impressively): “Only think, children. In Africa there are 10,000,000 square miles of territory without a single Sunday school where little boys and girls can spend thcii Sundays. Now, what should we ail try to save up our money and do?” Class (in ecstatic union): “Go to Africa 1” ‘You called mo a •political jobber’ il your paper this morning,” said the irate visitor. “Yes,” replied the editor, “that was a bad break. I discharged that comnosi tor immediately.” “Oh! then vou didn’t mean to say that?” “Certainly not. I wrote ‘robber’ very plainly.” Young Enthusiastic Art’st (innocent ly): ‘T presume, Miss Fitzdook, you paint?” Miss Fitzdook (indignantly, misapply, ing his remarks): “Sir, do you intend to insult ” Young Artist (very embarrassed) s “Oh, ’pon rr.y word, Miss Fitzdook,. don’t think for a moment I alluded to the paint on your face-”