THE BYSTANDER.

New Zealand Times, Volume LVX, Issue 3134, 21 May 1897, Page 4

THE BYSTANDER.

The successor of Mr Lowell and Mr Bayard iu tho high office of THE the American Ambassador to new England is Colonel John American Hay, best known to us as AiIBAS- the author of ‘Jim Bludso’ sador. and other stirring poems that deal with life iu tho Wild West. The hero, Jim Bludso, was, it will be remembered, of a peculiar order ; Ho warn’t no saint, —thorn injinoers Is pretty much all alike— One wife in Natchez-undor-tho-Hill And another one here in Bike: A keerless man in his talk was Jim, And an awkward hand iu a row. But he never funked and ho never lied, I reckon he never knowed how. He seen his duty a dead-sure tiling, And he went for it thar and then i And Christ ain’t a-goin’ to be too hard On a man that died for men. The following somewhat unique advertisement recently appeared wanted — in the Cairns Morning Post : A “ An Englishman, 33 years wife. of age, having one son—a boy 13 years (who is away apprenticed to a trade)—desires to correspond with some quiet, good girl, with a view to matrimony. Lady must not be more that 25 years of age ; good plain cook ; domesticated, with jolly, cheerful disposition. Religion of no consequence. Advertiser is healthy and strong, of even temper, comfortably situated iu a regular billet, is prepared to furnish a cottage and do his best to made wife happy. A natural diffidence to pay court and propose to lady urges advertiser to seek this means. Letters, to be addressed as below, wiil be regarded as strictly confi dential, and advertiser pledges his word of honour not to divulge names orcontenta. Correspondence will be returned in all oases where conditions are not considered favourable to future happiness.' 1

When Miss Kingsley, the naturalist, visited (he rivers of West bathing Africa, she experienced under some difficulty iu securing a Diffi- proper degree of privacy for culties. executing the functions of

the toilette. It is difficult to combe your back hair or trim your corns with a group of interested African natives looking on. In her recently published book she tells how she succeeded in taking a bath unmolested by prying eyes. She got up in tho middle of the night from the Fan village, and taking a canoe, paddled across the lake, and after blundering into the middle of an evening party of five hippopotami, paddled to a quiet spot on tho bank in tho depths of the forest and took a midnight bath. “Drying one’s self on one’s cummerbund is not pure joy," she quaintly observes, “ but it can be done when you pat your mind to it." And she got back from her midnight excursion without a Fan being aware of her absence.

New golf links having recently been opened at Stratford ondid Avon, tho question natusrare- rally arises—Had Shakesspearr spoaro any knowledge of the 00L7? game? The Globs answers in the affirmative, and adduces the following evidence in support of its theoryWe find in “ Much Ado About Nothing" an unmistakeable allusion to a characteristic St. Andrews gesture in the words, “ 1 know you by the wagging of your hand ; ” while in “ Titus Andronicus" we encounter the pertinent query, “ What sobtlp hole is this?” In “ Richard 111.,’' again, we meet the line, “Put in their hands the bruising irons of wrath,’’ and in “Henry VI. ’’(Part 1.) the statement, “ I’ii call for class.” FalstafFa ruling passion was evidently golf, for we know that on his death-bed he “ babbled of green fields ; " and there was certainly a course on Prospero’s island, else why the question, “ Why hath thy" queen summoned mo hither to this ahort-grass’d green?” There are, we believe, some commentators who prefer the reading, “ To tee or not to tee, that is the question.” But, apart from this disputed passage, wo find in “Hamlet” a reference to the fault of “ striking too short." Thig ingenious compilation of quotations from the ‘f myriad niiufiqd ” man ought to settle the controversy.

A New York paper alluding t° the marriages of “ American some women of fortuue and forhead- signers of rank ” has the LINES. following headlines!—American Girls Ruined by Marrying Titles.—Aristocratic Diunkehneas, Brutality, Blackguardism, Cheating at Cards, Infidelity, and Base Insults.—And Always, Always the Incessant Demands for Money from High-born Sharks, have Destroyed the Happiness and Lives cf many uf opr Loveliest and Wealthiest Women.

Frau Eva Nansen, the wife of the famous explorer, is a groat traveller, Da in her own way. Now that nansen’s her husband is safe and wife, sound at home, she is about to set forth upon one of her long musical tours through Sweden, Finland, and the cold north. She is one of the most accomplished of Scandinavian soprano songstresses, and recently arrived at Stockholm, where she sang before a p.rojyded audience in the Festival of the !Acaieroy of 4rts. King Oscar was present, and after the concert invited the Norwegian nightingale to supper with himself and the Royal household.

Tom Hood’s woeful “ Song of the Shirt,” tells a story which is as true sweating to-day as it was thirty years nr ago. A Birmingham clergyLondon, man, describing the frequenters of 3 Girls’ Club which he has founded, says ; — M In the case of thirteen girls, taken at random, in the room one evening, it was found that they worked at very heavy work, for the most part for from ten to eleven hours a day (allowing the dinner hour), and that their wages varied frem 8s down to Js per Week. How can they keep body and soul together under such circumstances ? One need not wonder that the/ are what we find them. Yet one hears of even worse oases. Conceive a young girl, and a skilful and excellent needlewoman, making baby’s clothing all day in a basement room by artificial light, for the magnificent sum

of 4.3 a week, and having to bring her own j food into tile bargain ! * Imposible ! ' someone says. Well, but to the certain knowledge of the writer, this is true today, and is being done in one of the most fashionable and extensively patronised shops in Birmingham."

The manner in which a burglar breaks open a safe is as follows: safe Ha first bores a hole with a breaking, diamond drill either for the insertion of an explosive or an explosive or for an instrument called the “ gripper,’* which is powerful enough to wrench any small safe door open. If powder is used, it may bo introduced by an air pump, and exploded by electricity or by a fuse. When experienced burglars are executing the job, the amount of powder or dynamite used is so nicely calculated. and the swathing of the safe is so perfect, that the explosion only produces a dull rumbling sound, which may readily be mistaken by untrained ears for a roll of thunder. Before the mistake is discovered or any alarm is spread, the alert burglars have hastily ransacked the safe and are off with their boaty, driving so fast that their escape is often unnoticed, and pursuit is only a chase at random.

A Lancashire newspaper tells how a would-be benedict from Ad-

half- walton recently took his married. sweetheart toßristall Church

to be married. Everything went happy as a marriage bell iuntii that part of the ceremony was reached when the clergyman asked the question, “ Wilt thou have this woman for thy wedded wife ? u This evidently was a poser. Ho scratched his head for a minute, and then looked up at the parson, saying, “ All’ll that stand, if ah should want a divorce." The clergyman declined to argue the question, telling him co stand down, and he would not finish the service. The bridal party returned sorrowing back; and the half marrried bridegroom called at a pub. on his way and so effectually drowned his sorrows in “Old John Bar* leycom ” as to be unable to walk, and had to bo conveyed home in a cart,*

The following is given as the origin of the American saying, “To eat “ eating crow." During the civil crow.** war, or shortly after its close,

a United States soldier shot a tame crow, the owner of which came upon him before ha had time to reload his piece, and compelled him to eat a mouthful of the bird. This satisfied the owner who walked away ; but, before he had gone very far, he was overhauled by the soldier—who had loaded again—and was himsjlf compelled to return and eat a mouthful or two of the crow. The next day the owner complained at the post. The commander sent for the soldier and said to him, “ Do you know this gentleman?" The soldier drawled out, “ Ya-as —we dined together yesterday 1 " In every day conversation, “ to oat crow,"us understood to mean that an individual takes back all he previously #aid with regard to a certain matter.

The law of marriage and divorce promises some strange complications.

an In New York society an unAmerican pleas mt sensation has been .divorce produced by a decree of the tangle. Supremo Court declaring illegal a divorce obtained obtained after&Odays’ residence in Dakota by people who had been married in the State of New Y°tk. This has been the regular method of untying the nuptial knot, and among prominent New Yorkers who have obtained divorces in Dakota under circumstances parallel to those upon which Judge Russell has now rendered his decision are many well known people. The parties immediately concerned are Mr and Mrs M'Gown, the latter of whom resided at Faro, North Dakota, for the statutory 90 days, and then married Mr Harry W. Bell. In this case, however, the result will be, in one way, what Mr and Mrs Bell desire, for as soon as Mr M'Gown learned of the marriage he instituted a suit In York State for an absolute divorce from his wife, with Bell as co-respondent. As soon as this divorce has been granted Mr and Mrs Bell can legally bo married in Dakota or anywhere else. In another respect, however, the decision may have an important influence, as Mr M'Gown is suing Mr Ball for £2,000 damages for the alienation of his wife’s affections.