THE BYSTANDER.

New Zealand Times, Volume LVIX, Issue 3000, 11 December 1896, Page 4

THE BYSTANDER.

WjtEN General Gordon had) command of

’ A (JOEBOtf STOKY.

ihe Chinese. army, ho, once quelled a mutiny among liia men in a very daring manner. Mr Egmont Hake describes tho incident as follows;

** The artillery refused to fall in, and threatened to blow the officers to pieces, both European and Chinese* The intimation. of this SerioUs nillbiny a£ to Gordon in a written proclamation, and he at once took measures that showed it was no easy task to shake him in his absolute command. Convinced that tho non-commissioned officers were at the bottom of the affair, he called them up and asked who wrote the proclamation and why the men would not fall in. They had not tho courage to tell the truth, and professed ignorance on both points. With quiet determinatiou Gordou then told them that one in every five would be shot* an announcement which they received With During this manifestation, the Conlmander, With gteat shrewdness, determined in his own mind that the man whoso groans were the most prolonged and emphatic was tho ringleader: This man was a Gordon. approached Him; dragged him out of the rank with fois own band, and ordered two of infantry standing by to shoot him on the spot. ! Tho order was] instantly obeyed Gordon then sent the remaining noncommissioned officers into confinement for one ‘hour, with the assurance that within that time if tho name of tho writer of tho proclamation was not given up, * every fifth man among them would bo shot. This brought them to their senses. Tho files fell in j the writer's name was disclosed. Gordon had done justice to him some hours before j it was the loud-voiced corporal.”

"MAUttYiKa a wife*s debts” is a form of

MARRYING i. wife's BEETS.

taking on a liability which no longer exists in English law. Yob £ lliing existed oncel. Before the. Majrrmd uduiiin's ffdperfcy Act, 1082,

a husband and wife were one, and the husband was that one. Consequently, if the bride owed anything to anybody before she was married, the unfortunate husband ,'had to pay the piper. He’ had taken her “ for bettor or worse,” and this was tho “ worse.” A writer in CasselVa Family Lawyer says:—l have read of women who in years gone by got rid of all their debts by marrying bankrupts imprisoned in tho Fleet Prison for debt. These men are in nowise particular. They knew they were in for life or thereabouts. They knew they already owed far more than they could pay, and it did not make one atom of difference to them that they owed a few hundreds or a few thousands more* The "wife” paid tho ,f husband” a pound or two for the protection of his name* and thenceforth could enkp her lingers in her creditors* faces, and gaily accumulate debts. But now that imprisonment for debt has been abolished, except to a slight extent —to which your attention will be more particularly directed In dealing with the Law of the Trader this farce has ceased to bo played. In these days tho horror of marrying his fair one's debts need not weigh too heavily on tho mind of any bachelor who is contemplating matrimony. He will only be liable to the extent of the property which his wife brings him ; that is to say, if the lady, while yet single, owes -81000, and she brings to her husband a little forture of, r say, .£SOO, ho will have to pay her creditors to the tune of .£SOO, but no more. It is just the same in Scotland, * English spelling is remarkable for its

NEED OS* SPELLING EEFORM.

infinite variety/' remarks the Home Journal . The remark is certainly not Hew, but the Journal proceeds to illustrate it. As long as " tisis" is

spelled “ phthisis/' says the editor, the voice of the spelling reformer should b® heard in the land. Mr Turner, in the following incident, in view of our present method of spelling, was entirely consistent:— ** Dobbs met his friend Turner on the train. They were both going to London, and stopped at the same hotel. Turner registered his name, * 33. K. Phtholognyrrh.' Dobbs, noticing it, exclaimed, 4 Here, what are you assuming such a foreign, outlandish name for P Are you in any trouble P* * Not a bit of it/ replied Turner, 4 and I am not assuming any foreign name.' * What kind of a name is that ?' demanded Dobbs. ‘That is my identical old name/ persisted Turner, 'and it is English, too—pronounced plainly “ Turner"' 'I can't see how you make '‘Turner” out of those thirteen letters; besides, what is your object in spelling that way?’ asked Dobbs. 1 Well, you see* nobody ever noticed my name on the register when I wrote it 'Turner/" exclaimed the latter, ' but since I commenced writing it 11 Phthologtiyrth/* I set them all guessing. I’hey wonder what nation I am from; what my name is. I can now hear people talk about me all around. It ia, as I said before* English spelling. "Phtli,” there is the Sound of “t" in “phthisis”; “010/' there is the ”ur" in ” colonel gn/' there is the “n '* in "gnat”; "yrrh” is the sound of “er” in " myrrh.” Now if that doesn’t spell “ Turner,” what does it spell P'" “The death of Mr Bit MauriCr brings to

MB bn MAOBIEB AND TdE fBAOTICAL AMERICAN.

mind,” writes a correspondent, “ a comical story he once told. One of his favourite Views was front his study- srihdow at Hampstead, acrCgs his own lawn, to the

landscape surrounding Harrow. <on one occasion an American visited the artist; and the latter was showing his guest about the place. ‘There,’ he exclaimed; on arriving at the study window, ‘ that is the prettiest thing of all. That is Harrow.’ The visitor looked pht of the window for a few seconds, but his gaze rested not bn the view, but on a mowing machine which happened to be on the lawn. ‘ Harrow ?’ he echoed inquiringly ‘ Tea,’ repeated the artist, keeping his eyes riveted on the view, ‘ Harrow.’ ‘ls that so ?’ questioned the practical American j ‘ well, now, do you know I took it for a lawn mower.’ And it was said in all seriousness, too.” Apropos of Mr Du Manner's big St. Bernard, Chang, which has figured

MB DU maoeieb’s CHANO.

in so many of the artist’s clever Punch drawings, it is not generally known that the faithful animal once rescued

Mr Du Maurier from the clutches of two powerful ruffians, who one night waylaid the artist on the Heath, on one of the rare occasions on which he walked, home, and fiercely demanded his money. In relating the incident, the late artist said, “They got more than they bargained for—or, rather, I should say, left more than they expected. Poor Chang! Perhaps but for him my pencil would have been stilled for ever that night!” When the dog died, Mr Du Maurier had its yellow skin preserved, and it formed one of the principal features in the late author-artist’s working-room. Dobing the last few days a number of stories have been told con-

THE POET AND THE !

earning the late William Morris. • Here is another: — “I remember," writes a oorrespondent, “ a little incident

JLUO V) «• wMViu iuviuwuw which illustrates the practical rather-than the poetical character of the man. The author of the ‘Earthly Paradise’ a few years ago delivered a lecture on ‘ The Mon of Ghent’ one Sunday afternoon in a public hall in Anooats, Manchester. Anooats, it should be stated, is the Whitechapel of Cottonopolis, only worse. Earlier in the day Mr Morris had explored soma of its choicest nooks, and on leaving them had carried away possibly more than mere mental impressions. At any rate, he had not proceeded far with his lecture when it was- evident that ho wriggled much more than was necessary for the elucidation of his subject. An ordinary lecturer would have suppressed the wriggling and endured a martyrdom. Morris suppressed the cause of it. Bringing his hand down smartly upon his shoulder ho gave two or three vicious nips, pausing in his discourse to concentrate his energies on the operation, which must have been ruccessful, for there was no more wriggling!” A. melodbama was some years since •nlaved in a certain theatre.

‘‘ON HIS HEAD!”

played in a certain tneatre, the chief actor in which had made himself, from his overbearing conduct, disliked by

one and all. In the last scene lie was supposed to visit the tombs of his ancestors. In the centre of the stage, upon a marble pedestal, stood the statue of his father. A heavy fold of drapery covered the figure. Enter Albert —“ Once again," he says, "let me gaze upon those features which in life so often beamed with tenderest affection. Father! thy mourning son now comes to pay thee reverence. Let me remove the veil which from vulgar gaze shields the image of a once dear parent!” The drapery fell aside, and behold! the father stood upon his head! The effect cannot be described. It was electric. The shouts of laughter which followed effectively put an end to the scene, which changed to the next as quickly as possible, amid the btavoes of the audience, the anger of the manager, and the uncontrollable rage Of the actor.

Tub way in which parents and children will combine arainst the

HE COOED SEAS.!

wiu comome against T.ne schoolmaster is illustrated by the following incident. In a German village recently a

father brought his son to the doctor to obtain a certificate of deafness. Iho buy, ha said, had lost his hearing completely in consequence of a box on (ho ear from his teacher. The doctor tried all kinds of noises, and the boy, a sturdy youngster of twelve, remained unable to hear thom.Thodootor then examined the ear with a mirror, and said softly to his assistant, “The whole ear seems to be ruined.

tut 1 can’t see very well inside. Get me a knife to out the oar off.” Like a flash of lightning the boy rushed from the office, Telling as if tho doctor had tried all his instruments on him. The father paid threo marks fot tlio f! otirty" Saying lie gitessjd that doctors and teachers were •• in witn each other.

People who live in country houses, wherd

, TO HAKE TOUR • OWN - ELECTRIC LIGHT.

oil lamps are used, often discuss. tho feasibility of making and using; their own electric light. Their discussions, says the ‘‘Builder,” seldom lead to anything, as as they have only the vaguest notions as to the probable

cost. It is, however, in certain cases a much simpler matter than is generally supposed. It is essential that there should he an outhouse about 18ft long that can to utilised tor the x>lant, which will consist of an oil engine, a dynamo and aooumu* lateral Tho accumulators need to to charged thrcO,tildes a Week, but this con bB dbhß by • tlio gal-dBUor without interfering unduly with his ordinary ‘ work; as the plant can be made alhiost automatic. For at heitiso ittmg thirty py forty iBoj); glow lamps, .tliese WO ftrst-oliias Arms who would put up tho plant, fittings, etc., for less than .£250. As tho result of working such a plant in a small house where twenty-five lamps were installed, it was found that a penny worth of paraffin in the oil-engine lit eight IG-o.p.‘ lamps for an hour, and wo thinK thot this rate might fairly bo calculated upon. Depreciation and repairs have to bo allowed for, but this is not nearly such a formidable item as it was-'ton years ago. As accumulators are used, there be no fear of any sudden failure of the light.

At Cincinnati; recently, two wheelwomon wfeto tho means of sendmff

i'nilcilf OIBLS.

three! highway I‘otbera on the way to tho penitentiary. Tho

way in which the men were arrested was peculiar, aud shows the biijycle girl in a iffiW light. A faralot WtM coming homp, into 111 ejrttet to teisbh -the city in tome fpr the next day’s business, .vwhen suddenly ‘bis horses wore caught by tho bridles by two coloured men, while two others jumped upon the seat, and, after boating him, secured all his wealth. Two young lady cyclists, out for a moonlight ride, happened to bo passing that way, and taking in the distressing circumstances at a glance, they raced off to inform the police of the facts. Tho highwaymen then caught sight of them aud wont in pursuit, but tho ladies scorched aud left them fat behind. Before long they succeeded in finding a policeman, who, disguising himself in citizen’s clothes, went over the same course and met the robbers, who attempted to hold him up also. Pulling out his revolver, he compelled to Walk in front, and succeeded in arresting three. On the trial of the case the farmer was unable to recognise any of his assailants, but the cyclists immediately came forward and picked out the three arrested. The young ladies received great praise for their courage in immediately notifying the police and for taking such a good look at tho men as to be able to identify them. ‘‘ Superstitions,” we are told, “ die hard.”

SUPERSTITIONS DIE HARD.

A lamentably lingering death has been the fate of the manufacturing fallacy that files can bo better made by

hand than- by machinery. But it is dead at last— “ Dead as a door nail.” The last screw in the coffin of this industrial superstition has been turned by the Government, for specifications from an important Government department are now in the hands of certain firms of file manufacturers in Sheffield, in which occurs the stipulation that they are to bo machine cut. This (says The Engineer) is understood to be the first time that any tender emanating from the Government has contained such a proviso, and it has excited a good deal of interest and comment in the trade. Moreover, since the men employed by the hand-cutting firms obtained a 10 per cent, advance on their wages, these firms say they have boon at a disadvantage in competing with those who use the machine, and whose men. got no advance. Some have since adopted machinery, and others are saying that they must,now come to it or they will be shut out from securing Government and other contracts. So thoroughly does machinery seem to have taken possession of the file-makers that tho orders which they have given out to engineers for the requisite machinery are actually exceeding the capacity of the Workshops to supply. German file manufacturers are purchasing freely from thd Sheffield engineering firms file-grinding machines a? well as machines for Whetting chisels for use in file-cutting macUinos«

. fii tlie fof fame Potdr Dawaon has distinguished himself by obtaining the highest award of diploma and gold modal at the Distillers’ and Brewers’ Exhibition at Dublin, add the great gold modal at Paris. 198 For indigcstidii tho best remedy is undoubtedly Norton's Camomile Pills. They dan confidently be recommended as’ being mild in Operation and absolutely free* from injurious drugs, acting at ohoe as a splendid tdriib dhd a gentle aperient. For nearly 100 years they have proved unequalled for indigestion, dyspepsia, flick Headache cfctidfdf Uvordrid fitordtioli. complaints. Sold ih bottles. Is l£d, 2s 9d and Us, by all modioino vendors throughout the world; A simple, Bhfe and certain rehiedy. . ’ , ‘‘Hunyadi Jdnos.” TKmfavddrite,Natural Water, in habitual use throughout the world. Has established itself as a customary Aperient iii all climates. Eorharkably dud exceptionally uniform ih composition ; free, from defects incidental tp others Med,. Jearaal. Annual salb six million bottles; 792