THURSDAY, DECEMBER 10 1896. DOGS.

New Zealand Times, Volume LVIX, Issue 2999, 10 December 1896, Page 2

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 10 1896. DOGS.

We have heard a great deal of late about dumb dogs. Very little good was said about them. The best was that they might have been sleeping. Of that idea the point was evident. There was a general ait of admitting that these sleeping dogs ought to bo allowed to lie, i.e,, to remain undisturbed. But the election, has introduced us to a new kind of dog. The new kind of dog is a watch dog. It is not a dumb dog by any means. It is a fluent dog, a dog that barks, a dog that lives to barb, a dog that has no other role except the role of barber. This barker reminds us of a celebrated character whose name waa Barkis. The supreme merit 6f the famous Barkis was that “ Barkis is willin’.” This Barkis, or barker—what’s m a name? —is represented as "willin’," perfectly "willin’.” He’belongs to no party, he is wedded, aa a matter of fact, to the section of politics which is against party government. It is "agin the Government" in fact. The versatile canine has barked for party government in bis time with a power suggestive of leather lungs. It was a power which placed .him at the head of a party, and the place gave groat prominence to his bark. But to use the words of a certain famous transatlantic critic, " Vere is dot Barty now?” Frankly, we do not' know. As a matter of fact we think "dot Barty” is nowhere. The barking of the dog and his friends—they are few and insignificant—does not help us to find " dot Barty." They have called him '* the watch dog." There was once a solitary dog that " bayed the moon,” and wb ramemberJeartam*poe tasters eescnbing his method as the " hideotia howl.” There we have the " watchdog" in a nutshell. The kennel is not largo, but it will serve. What will it serve? There's the rub. Sir Robert Stout is the watch dog. He, was all through the election contest bracks ted as a member, a leading member, of the Opposition. He got votes as such. In that capacity ho scored. The Conservative element rallied round him. It. hugged the belief that he would lead a grand attack on the Government position. -The troops of Opposition wore a very heterogeneous collection. But they were supposed to possess tho elements of war. The fire of the National Ass. was hot enough to mate the; verv cold water of Prohibition boil, and the result would be steam enough for the Opposition engine to do the trick. The fire was stoked. How that was done we all know, Tho ordinary fuel of politics was supplemented by personal matter of the grossest sort. Never in any election contest have personalities played such a, part. The grosser the matter, the fiercer, the fire. As iu blockade running the engineers throw into the furnaces sides of bacon, tins of kerosene, oases of olive oil, all the lard and tallow they can - get hold of in the cargo, so the Opposition engineers throw personalities of all binds into their furnace of Saddonism. The fire raged, the water of Prohibition boiled, the steam hissed—prophecies of success were made to mar out of every gaspipe impressed into the service of the combination. It was described sa an unholy com*

bination, if we remember right. And tto combination failed. Thee, as Mr Eider Haggard is fond of saying, in his most thrilling situations, a strange thing happened. Sir .Robert Stout's share in the alliance was disavowed. When the whole lot of the unholy steam was blown off, it was discovered that Sir Robert had never been .there at all. We were invited to regard him as the faithful watch dog who, while barking furiously against burglars, had been as much surprised as anyone else at the conflagration got up iu his name. He is now, it appears, the watch dog. Tho appellation is authoritative, so we cannot ignore it. We accept it. Now the great watch dog of antiquity was Cerberus. What was the function of Cerberus ? If wo remember right, it was to prevent people going into the infernal regions. This is interesting, partly because tho henchman of Cerberus, the “poodle'' of Sir Eobert as he has been called—-Mr Earnshaw—in tho moment of his political extinction told everybody to go to—that very warm place. But the main interest is quite different. It is this. Where is the Inferno from which this great watch-dog is to save the politicians of this oppressed country ? Is it the Opposition fold, or is it the Government barrack? We must leave Cerberus to answer. He will do so po doubt in good time; when he has done tugging at his chain (in Willis street), and baying the moon of his idolatry, which is at present: obscured by the steam of the cold water of Prohibition, raised by the fire of the furnace of the National,,.Ass....heated by personalities of obvious sorts, chiefly political. In the meantime we will make an effort to place him. In politics, the man who stands between the two parties ruling the State is usually called the Middle Party. Usually, Middle Parties are parties. They take refuge in the Cave of Adullam, as was once remarked by a great statesman. But oven there the leader likes to have a following. In this there is no following. . Therefore it is not convenient to be a Middle Party. .Wo therefore become the watch dog. The fact is therefore evident that Sir Robert has formally broken with the broken Opposition, after it broke let it be understood and remembered. He is not a watch dog at all, he is a stray dog. This stray dog is, as we have before remarked, in the position of “ Barkis who is willin'/'' lb has been declared in his Willis street kennel that he is “ willin'" to taken command of any great party that may ask him to lead them. u Veto is dotßarty ? M It is just as difficult to bog as that other “Barty” that disappeared ever so long ago. Tho usual fate of stray dogs is not to lead parties. They are “ run in ” j they wait a certain time for their u Barty to claim them ; failing the “Barty '* they enter the harbour in a cage, and there they give their final howl. In December, 1899, or thereabouts, we shall hea.r that cry, from the hustings, and tho stray dog of politics * will be no more.