ECHOES OF THE WEEK.

New Zealand Times, Volume LVII, Issue 2549, 29 June 1895, Page 1 (Supplement)

ECHOES OF THE WEEK.

.Sntlro’n rny weapon, but Tin too i!l«cieot To run amuck and tilt at all ( meet. I’oHC.

T) RALLY I think I shall set up as a JOU prophot. About two months n/fo 1 indulged in a prediction that tho Roaohory Movornmont would not last into July, and behold, facts aro with mo, tho expected crash Jms comoat last, though with greater suddenness than most of as anticipated. On tho whole it is, perhaps, tho best thin" that could have happened. Some reasons for the down Cal I i gave last week, and there is no need to say more on that subject today. J.et us rather have a chat as to tho new cabinet, Loid .Salisbury, of course, van bound to bo 'Premier, and bis nephew, Mr Balfour, the Leader of the House. Tho Unionist element is represented by the Buko of Devonshire, Lord Jlartington that was. and "Judas Joe ” of Birmingham, clever Mr Chamberlain. Another Unionist, | Mr Courtney, is talked of as President of i the Board of Trade, and yet another, Sir 1 Henry James, an Homo Secretary. Mr Jackson, who is spoken of as the coming Irish Secretary, is a Leeds man, who has sat for tho woolly metropolis since 1880, and has long beon regarded as a very able man, and Sir John Horst, who was out in New Zealand years u(ro, and who latterly has taken a great interest in tho labour i|iie3tion, is spoken of as Postmaster Ceneral.

AS far as the coloiiioa tire concerned, wo need not grieve particularly over tho departure of the Mftrquin of Uipon, an old Whig and a hit et-a fossil. His successor was at first state'| to ho Lord Knutsford, who was Uudof-Siocotary for tho Colonies in 70 to 7Ldthd Colonial Secretary again in tho hujt'saliahury Government, Initiator newtt {a to tho effect that Mr Chamberlain, a niueli stronger man in every way, has taken tho post. Mr Closchon, so wo aro told, goes hack to his old post at tho Admiralty. Ho was First Lord under Gladstone as far hack as 1871, and many will remember the once popular comic song “ If over I coaso to love,” ono verso of which ditty van :

May Gosclion liavo a notion Of tho motion of tlio ocouu If ovor I coano to lovo. But Mr GoficUon wan in a much more suitable position when ho was Chancellor of the Exchequer in the last Salisbury Ministry, which ho joined on that memorable occasion whoa poor Randy Churchill so suddenly resigned the Chancellorship m 188(5. According to the cable forecast, Sir Michael Hicks-Boach, a pompous and ponderous old Tory hack, is now to administer the finances, but I should not bo surprised to find Mr Goschen back again at the financial helm after a few months have gone by. Before these linos are in print the positions allotted may bo changed, but thoro can bo no doubt that the now loryUnioniut Ministry will bo a very strong one. As to the Under-secretaries, tho combined party is specially well off for clover young men, and not only in tho administrative but in debating power, tho new Salisbury Cabinet ought to bo most notably efficient. AGENERALelectionwillsoon oventuato and although it is tho unexpected that often, but not always, happens, and tho Liberals might gain tho day, it is, I should say, big odds on their defeat; and, as I have often contended in those columns, an absence from oflico for a few years will do tho Liborals-ciim-Radicals no small amount of good. In tho natural course of events they will return to power, but in tho meantime they will have an oppor- , tunity of purging thoir ranks of the opportunists, of tho plutocrat and professional politician element, of hardening up their policy and going before the country a united and hopeful party, with a strong, comprehensive platform of really needed social reform legislation. Meanwhile, there is no need to fear that tho new Ministry will daro to introduce any reactionary legislation, and it is quite probable they may do more actual good for tho masses than tho Rosebery Ministry could or would have done. We shall see.

THE English Army has at last got rid of its “ Old Man of the Sea" in tho person of tho “ Shook of Gambritch," and tho hero of Tol-el-Kebir and "tho Soldier's Rocket-book" —Lord Wolseloy, is to take the place of the venerable old figure for ever associated with a “gamp." Had Tommy Atkins himself been consulted, lie would, I fancy, have voted for bis favourite “Bobs," tho immensely popular Lord Roberta, of Oandahar celebrity, whoso fame Rudyarcl Kipling has written and sung so persistently in his Indian Army sketches and in “ Barrack-room Ballads." Unfortunately, poor Tommy, the person most concerned, has no say in the matter. There is no democratic franchise in tho election, or selection, of a British Commandor-in-Chief, and perhaps, on tho whole, it is just as well there is not.

THE resignation of the poor old “Shook” must have been on the tapis for some time, for in connection with his then rumoured (coming a question was asked by Dr Tanner, the irrepressible Irish M.P. in the Honsu of Commons, early in May, and led, 1 notice, to some very amusing correspondence between tho waggish member for Mid Cork and a retired major named J. Jones. Two days after Tanner had asked whether it was true that tho Duke had resigned his position as Commander in Chief, 1m received tho following bcllicoso telegram from Major Jones:—

In reply to your despicable question about tho Duke of Cambridge, I designate you a coward. Delighted to give you satisfaction across tho water. Pistols. J. Jones, Major. To this Dr Tanner sent tho following reply :

Yours received. "Will meet you to morrow (Tuesday) evening at Constantinople. Torpedoes preforod. Wntor-tubo boilers oxchided. Advertising ' strictly prohibited. Bring another ass at midnight. Tanneb. Tho Major responded with “Unwittingly you have confirmed my telegram, but not the challenge.” Tho jocular Patlandev doapatchod a second message,; “Wire received; sorry you funked tho torpedoes; stick to Constantinople: bring the smoke. Tanneb.” The Major, however, replied that “Midnight mootings are for moonlighters," which, so far from riling the jolly Irishman, actually increased his amusement, for ho closed the incident with a final wive; “ Strongly recommend bromide of potassium this hot weather for tho staggers. Further reply useless; will not spend another tanner.” What tho irate Major will now say to tho Dnko’s retirement, real and no longer rumoured, I don’t know, but I suppose ho thinks that Heaven and Earth are on the point of passing away now that tho venerable old gentleman with Hif-for' 7 '' umbrella is no longer at the head of Milters military.

WHATEVER may bo the fate of tho Madagascar News if the French succeed in reading the Malagasy capital, tho editor of tlwicuricus little paper still continues to sendout copies witli great regularity. The laht-issuo to roach mo was that dnfeu April 1 It gives a very interesting recount of a review of the troops o v«ut to join tho Coast Army and to ta» active part in the operations against tho French invaders. It is quite r.ithotio to notice the glowing patriotisiii •.of the speeches made by tho chief officers to tho Queen, in whoso august presence, tho review was hold. Those Malagasy are evidently animated by a fine spirit of independence and of pride in their native land, and I for ono should feol most heartily glad could they achieve the unlikely and give tho French a thorough thrashing, for in the history of modern civilisation no more unwarrantable, no more unjust, no more absolutely vile an outrage on tho amity of nations has been recorded than that of this French attempt to crush a lino race into subservience to a justly dreaded and bated foreign rule.

BRAVE words—of a bravo man I trust —were those of the Chief Andriantary of the 13th regiment;—

Our hearts aro very glad because of tho honours (rank) given to us, and because of Your presence here to-day. Wo have nothing to give but our efforts, our strength, ■our minds, our bodies and our lives. Wo ■.. hall go now, and we assure Your Majesty itbat It is in this laud that we have grown ,up as a tree and if tho laud is threatened by ■other*—tho land of which our minds, ■strength and efforts, aro tho fruits given by ■Cod to us, that wo may hold fast Your Majesty's kingdom and tho Prime Minister’s order—wo will not sow tho seeds from those fruits in other lands, but wo will sow all of thorn in Madagascar, in order to preserve this land, and in order that it may bo prospered.—Wo aro 'not going to deliver a ilowory spooob, or to show a thing which has a good appearance, as good appoar&nco is not enough to make a real thing, but what wo shall do aro real deeds, tho result of our efforts, and wo boro assure Your Majesty thvt wo will do all that wo can to preserve and give prosperity to tho kingdom. And again—

Tn our youth, wo wore trained by the Prime Minister in tho exorcise of artillery, rifle and sword—and if this land is threatened by anybody—anybody who has flesh and blood as wo have onrsolvos, wo assure our Majesty that wo will protect it. There is not a land where death is not tho lot of man. If wo die in our own house, wo have no more honour than tho Jittlo child who

(lien on the lap of its mother, hut if v?e die in protecting tho Fatherland, we die with . the highest honour. Wo ask God’s help that we may hoc* their (French) faces in order tiiat wo may attack them. And may your Majesty live long, and enjoy long rule over Your people. We assure Your Majesty that we shall follow implicitly Your Majesty’* representative at Mojauga. ELSEWHERE in this interesting little paper, to whose spirited conductor I wish all good luck and safety to himself ami his presses and type, should the French get to Antanarivo and s*ixe his printing office, tho editor points out, possibly as some small constitution to his readers that tho country has had a more than usually severe rainy season, and that tho mules, some thousands of which are being employed by tho French for transport services, will be at great disadvantage, being small hoofed animals in a swampy country. Tho News sums up as follows :—“ Altogether Flood will bo to the j Malagasy a general of equal value to their I traditional Generals, Fever and Forest. I General Forest is lacking in tho Western routes, but General Flood has taken his place.” In conclusion I can assure Mr Harvey, tho editor of this interesting little paper, tho Madagascar News, that tho brave Malagasy have hosts of sympathisers and well wishers in this far off land, the native people and language of which have so much in common with the Malagasy. I hope that the copy of the Mail I send him will reach him safely and find tho French still a good many leagues away from the News office. “VTOT a little of the Premier's personal JLI popularity—as genuine as it is unquestioned, even by his bitterest political opj>onents—is duo to his unfailing bonhomie, Ins ready accessibility by tho humblest members of tho community, and last, but by no means least, his cheery willingness to personally investigate any complaint as to unfair treatment. An excellent substantiation of what X have above sot forth is afforded by a paragraph in a recent issue of tho West Coast Times, to which I am glad to gi/o that extended publicity that so good a story deserves. My contemporary says: “Tho Premier has a variety of duties thrust upon him, but ono ho was called upon to perform at Kumara recently fairly ‘takes the cake/ Ho was accosted by a man breaking road metal for the Survey Department, who said: ‘Mr Sodden, I know you aro n fair man ; I want you to measure some stones for mo/ Tho Premier did not deny the tribute of praise, but demurred to tho task. Tho man explained his reason—‘Jones has been measuring the stones for tho Suivoy Department and makes the quantity too little; if ho measures the timber for royalty tho same way tho Government aro losing thousands of pounds in royalties overy year, I know you are ft fair man and will see justice done to mo/ Even ft Premier is human and consequently ho could not resist tho appeal. A party then sot out for tho scone of operations, consisting of the Premier, tho RosidentTEnginoor, tho Overseer, and an interested public. Arriving at the heap of broken metal, the tape was used, and sure enough, it was found tho man had not boon allowed full measure. This pub tho others on the thorns of doubt, and they insisted theirs should bo measured also. Tho tapo was again requisitioned and all found correctly measured except ono man, who had beon allowed too much. Mr Seddon says it is his most singular experience sinco he lias been Premier, and ho doubts if any other Premier has a similar tale to toll.

IN tho latest issue of the New Zealand Schoolmaster there are some amusing examples of curious mistakes made by our children in tho answering of examination questions. Out of a big batch I select tho following as being worthy of quotation:— Question; To whom, and under what circumstances, were the following words spoken:—“Take away this bauble ” ? Answer : By Henry VIII. to Cromwell when lie brought him Anne of Cloves to marry. Question: What was the sentence pronounced on tho barren fig tree? Answer: “ Cut it down, why oumboreth it the ground?” Question: Who wore tho Pharisees? Answer: 1. The Pharisees wore a mean set. On one occasion they brought our Lord a penny, which ho rejected with scorn, saying unto them, “ Whoso subscription is this ?” Answer: 2. The Pharisees were very hypocritical men. They fasted in public, and m secret devoured widows’ house:;. rjnALKINGr about schoolboys and their JL answers under examination reminds mo of a clipping I mado one wot evening this week from a Loudon paper, tho St. James’ Gazette, which records a somewhat remarkable occurrence, viz., tho vivd voce examination of a schoolmaster by a local bench of magistrates. It was at Croydon, whore a schoolmaster named Davis was plaintiff in a civil case. Davis had stated in his evidence that “ he know everything," an assumption of infallibility which reminds one of tho Post and its claim to omniscience. But the Croydon bench were anxious for more precise answers, and put tho pedagogue through his facings as follows: — Q. If a scholar asked you which was tho greater, throe-fourths or six-eighths, what would bo your answers ? —A. I could not say what would bo the correct answer without working it out on a slate. Q. What is a third and a half of a third of fourponco?—A. A farthing. Tho Head of an Oxford college, adds the Gazette , has been known to bo “ stumped " for an answer to tho question, “ If a salmon weighs ten pounds and half its own weight, how much does it weigh ?" but these vulgar fractions do seem a trifle elementary even for a professional schoolmaster.

CURIOUSLY enough, in the same paper I carno across another schoolmaster “ par,” which might have been, but was not —tho sub editor must have been asleep —headed, “What’s in a name?” It appears that a Mr Coward, assistant master at the Ben Jonson Road Board School, London, applied to Mr Dickinson, at the Thames Police Court, for a summons against one of the scholars for assaulting him by kicking him on the log. “Mr Dickinson—How old is tho boy ? Applicant—Thirteen. (Laughter.) Mr Dickinson, evidently amazed—l vyonder what things are coming to ? It is perfectly absurd for a schoolmaster to corao to a police court on such a matter. Give the boy tho thrashing he deserves. Mr Coward—l am afraid to punish him. (Renewed laughter.)" There are a good New Zealand pedagogues who are cowards in fact, though they bo not in name, on this question of corporal punishment; but as a schoolmaster said to me the other day, “how can I thrash a boy, who thoroughly deserves it when his father is on tho school committee, and would hound mo out of my employment if I dared to do my duty?” Tho namby pamby sentiment (false and in reality terribly cruel to tho boys in its future consequences) of many Wellington parents, is a matter for grave regret. “ Spare tho rod and spoil the child,” and in Now Zealand this is an adage more honoured in tho breach than the observance. Not enough stick and too much larrikinism, that’s what it all amount? to.

SOME of tho Dunedin church organisations have, I notice, been fulminating against tho proposal to realise some of the Estates Company’s properties by means of a lottery. Personally I am not particularly enamoured of this lottery scheme, but tho action of tho churches is Pecksniffory, pure and simple. In ninety-nine out of every ‘hundred church bazaars lotteries aro in full swing, and although here and there an outspoken and honest parson does raise tho voice of protest, tho brethren as a rule haven’t tho faintest objection to an embroidered footstool being raffled half a dozen times over, under a system which is only too frequently a most transparent swindle. “ For tho good of tho church ”is a smug phrase, which like charity, “ covoreth a multitude of sins.” And as to tho principle of gambling, which is of course tho nominal evil at which theso good Dunedinites aim thoir protest, is not that principle actually uphold by congregations who build handsome churches on tho ton to ono chance that tho posterity of tho faithful shall pay for them. If tho churches object to lotteries, then lot them object to speculation in mining shares, so largely carried on by men who aro pillars of the church, and which is just ns much gambling ns tho backing of horses is. Squabbling, in tho most rancorous way, for two whole days, over tho appointment of a minister to a snug euro of souls recently took place at Dunedin, filling tho public press with columns of reasons for inspiring the public mind with utter contempt for anything possessing tho name of Synod, Could not the churches look first at homo and try and reform thoir own households, instead of uttering a sanctimonious screech against tljo presumed evils of a lottery ? I, at least, think so, and I fancy thoro will bo many to agree with rao.

SOME very extraordinary yarns about tho various members of the English Royal Family get into tho American papers from time to time. Tho latest of these, I notice, appears in tho 'Frisco mail summary. It relates how Princo Henry of Battonburg, the impecunious but goodlooking Teuton for whom Hor Majesty provided a wifo and tho British taxpayer a snug income, went for a trip across the frontier with the Duke d’Orleans—probably from Alx-los-Bains, where English royalty was recently residing. Tho aristocratic pair went to a village fair, where the

Prince—oil, what would his dear Trixy say when she heard of it?—was foolish enough to kiss a rustic beauty. Whereupon tho beauty's own particular peasant “ boy ” got his hot Spanish blood up, and, with somo of his follows, “went for” the Princo and tho Duke with tho knives habitually carried by men of bis class. Had it not been, so it is alleged, for tho police, both Battenhurg and Orleans would have been killed. English Royal princes, especially since “tho First Gentleman in Europe” sot tho fashion, have been somewhat given to flirtation—to uso no stronger a term — but in Spain at least ono sprig of royalty has been taught a wholesome lesson. If tho yarn bo true, what a wigging “ dear Trixy’s" husband must have got when his royal mother-in-law heard of tho scrape. Tho Parisian papers, I read, wore full of tho affair, which is, however, a serious proof of the falsity of tho story, for tho average Parisian journal can rival the late lamented Ananaias as a liar.

A CURIOUS incident, I hear, occurred at Blenheim tho other day. Colonel Fox arrived in that town with a view to inspecting the local volunteers. Unfortunately, however - , a malignant fate seemed suddenly to descend upon tho officers of tho corps, and to prevent them from being present on the projected parade. Tho captain, worthy man, was seized with an attack of neuralgia which rendered it impossible for him to leave his house ; the lieutenant suddenly remembered he had a most urgent engagement up country, and a senior sergeant was called away in an equally peremptory manner to Wellington. Finally tho Colonel, who appears to have appreciated tho humour of tho situation, contributed his little quota to tho excuse making, and finding he also had an engagement in Wellington of tho most pressing urgency, departed suddenly by boat across tho straits, delivering a parting satirical shot, however, in the form of a statement that ho “ had inspected tho local cadets, whoso drill satisfied him so much that he would leave the inspection of tho Rifles until another visit.” Blenheim folks aro now wondering at the curious unanimity with which the officers managed to escape inspection, and giggling a little over the slightly ambiguous statement made by tho Colonel.

J“D WRITES as follows • 13 9 A few months ago when the good folks of Palmerston North were so much agitated to find a lit and proper name for their charming township, i was much tempted to suggest tho name of “ Palmyra,” but fearing to be drawn into a newspaper controversy which I do not feel myself competent to sustain, I refrained from doing so at tho time, but now venture to to throw out tho hint to you, sir, feeling confident that you will do the subject full justice if there is, in your opinion, anything in it. It is needless for mo to point out either the historical events or poetical charms associated with the name of Palmyra. These are familiar to all educated minds, but from a practical point of view it has also much to commend it to Palmorstonians, being almost an abroviation of the present name. MY correspondent’s suggestion comes, I am afraid, a little lato in the day, for, if I remember rightly, “ Palmyra " has already been mentioned as a suitable substitute for Palmerston. I am afraid it would hardly do, for Palmyra, though once a city of immense importance, has long been in ruins. It was the Tadmor of tho Jews, tho Hebrew name, like tho Greek word, Palmyra, signifying “ city of palms." Solomon is credited with having built it. It became a groat commercial entrepot in the time of tho Roman Emperor Trajan, and was afterwards the capital of what was then called “an empire" ruled over by that remarkable woman, Zcnobia. Finally tho city was almost destroyed by the Roman Emperor Aurclian, the Saracous competing tho destruction in tho Bth century. To-day only a little Arab village called Tedmor remains of what was onco a populous and beautiful city. No ono could truthfully liken Palmerston to a “ city of palms " “ city of incendiary rats" would bo more appropriate, so the insurance companies would no doubt say—and seeing tho present state of tho onco famous Palmyra —a heap of dismal ruins embedded in the sand —the adoption of the name by the Palmerstonians would net be a particularly happy augury. No, I am afraid Palmyra won’t do.

THE following letter has boon handed to me by the editor of tho New Zealand Mail as referring to a subject dealt with specially in this column : House of Representatives, Wellington. TO THE EDITOR. Sib, —I regret that my first correction of your statements on the subject of agricultural lime has not proved sufficient, and that I am now under tho necessity of applying a second. In your issue of the 14th you say that the average “ squatter” does not use much lime or manure. In tho first place the name is in bad taste and not applicable to any class of settlers in this island. In tho soco?id place your assertion (which by inference applies to myself) that I do not use much lime or manure is incorrect, because, to tho boat of my knowledge, I was tho first in my district to use both lime and manure. It is also well known that many of tho larger landowners in the South, such as Mr John Grigg, have for years been foremost in this direction. Turning to matters political, you ask: “Where would the capital go if it were driven away? —to Victoria, with its bankrupt banks and building, societies, with its falling revenue, dccrcaeing volume of trade and general depression?” Yes, even so. It prefers all these drawbacks to the harassing legislation of the present Government, and is being offered at tho present moment to settlers there at 4£ per cent, and in Now South Wales as low as 4 per cent. This I can prove. May I suggest that you should explain to your readers why so much higher terms are demanded here, —I am, &c., W. C. Buchanan. THERE is no need tor me to bore my readers with any lengthy reply to Mr Buchanan’s letter. Be his use of lime, etc., I cheerfully admit tho correction, which, however, does not in the least affect my original contention that Mr 8., as a member for a country constituency, should do his utmost to help his fellow settlors by getting the cheapest terms possible for railway carriage of commodities they use Mr Buchanan’s complaint as to my alleged “ bad taste " in using the terra “ average squatter,” strikes me as being puerile in the extreme. The word squatter, as a synonym for sheepfarmer, is made use of in nearly every leading journal in the colonies and is in such common acceptation that any objection to its use is both tardy and trivial. Perhaps it is the adjective, “ average,” that Hr Buchanan dislikes. Well, then, shall I call him an “ extraordinary squattier"? “ Extraordinary " is certainly a very suitable term to apply to some of his recent speeches. J trust he will' get rid of bis silly notion that the present Government are making Zealandia n bad country to live in. The question of the rclativp rates of interest I will not go into save to remark that were I a farmer I would prefer, to live and, if necessary, to borrow money at 5 or C per cent, in New Zealand, than to reside in either Victoria or New South Wales and get money —from whom Mr B, does not slate—at 4or -i£. —‘ Scrutator * in tho N.Z. Mail,