ROUND THE CORNERS.

New Zealand Times, Volume XLVIII, Issue 8002, 5 February 1887, Page 4

ROUND THE CORNERS.

fFr(jrn the New Zealand Mail, Jan, 28.1 The loss of self-respect to a man or woman just' constitutes the difference between a downward and upward course. Self-respect is a veritable cork jacket that imparts buoyancy to the \ wearer in troubled waters. It is also a coat of mail that renders the wearer invulnerable to evil assaults. Hold fast to it, my reader, even at the expense of much that is pleasant and attractive in life, and certainly at the expense of departure from rectitude’s paths. A bagman full-blown and hungry for custom is as nothing, in his pertinacity and audacity, to an apostle of temperance. They go tor all and sundry, and have done, and are doing, a lot of good. But whether they will succeed in establishing their extreme doctrines in the very centre of the British regalia is another matter. That they are going to “try.it on" we are assured by cable. Yes, friends, an attempt is to he made to proselytise Her Majesty the Queen, who, after indulging for some sixty years in a moderate allowance of alcohol, is to be made to renounce her glass of generous wine, and other little refreshments of the kind, for cold water and temperance drinks, the only redeeming quality of which Is their exceeding nastiness; at least, so some writer affirmed the other day. Also, the Queen is to be made to entwine the blue ribbon of the Good Templars with her blue ribbon of the Bath, A very pretty programme, I must say, if it can be only carried out, about ■ which the strongest kind of doubts may be entertained. Firstly, a lady who has been accustomed all her life to “ lashings of good siting and dhrinking" is scarcely likely to, for the mere sentiment of the thing, give up that whioh at the time of the life she has attained becomes, in very many instances, almost a necessity. Secondly, her medical advisers will put their veto on it, or I am very much mistaken. Thirdly, in the event of her doing all that the teetotallers demand, how is she to pose on State dinner occasions. As a Good Templar ehe ! darenot, of course, allow a glass of wine on the table, a pretty }tpw-dye-do for some of her foreign potentate visitors, and royal rela. tiona as well. Fourthly, and what about the royal cellars ? Are they to be purged of their contents, and all the staff, of butlers and cellarmen cast adrift upon a teetotal world? And when Christmas time comes round an extra quantity of oold water would have to be turned Into the roya palaces,' Nice that! The more one pursues this subject the more do contingencies thicken. To stop the grog of Her Majesty’s royal forces, both army and navy used to be a sort of condign punishment. Many a good fellow has had to grin and bear it for slight indiscretions, and now the head is to suffer for doing nothing at all. The boys in red and blue.will surely regard it as asort of righteous retribution. Mayhap they will look upon it as a kind of vicarious atonement that she, the head qf both army and navy and church, having submitted to grog-stopping, theirs is to run on for eyer without any more vexatious interruptions. The stoppage of the Queen’s grog ris enough for al}. However, it isn’t done : yet,, \yonder it Her Majesty will receive a* deputation oh tbe subject, . Ah, Sir William, you ! ought to be at Home now to head that same deputation, How you would expatiate, eh? Both tickle and charm the royal ears, and, who knows, perhaps be made a Duke for your pains.

I reckon Sir W. will class me among bis list o fi fools for all this. We newspaper fellows are clever, so, he .says, only we don’t understand anything about temperance worth » cent. And yet, Sit W., the colonial Press has .given loyal support to the. temperance cause without, . perhaps, ! going, the . entire anitnsd. Most of us ,do think the unfortunate Licensed Viot. shonjd have some fair play, and not be put right 'outside tbp pale of justice. They have served a 1 good turn ip their time as well as a bad one. ..They ate not all black, Sly W-, and ought to be permitted to die in peace, and not b.e harried out of their miserable liyea.

And, moreover, sir, flatlffcss aff that pan bo said against it, there is. some virtue in alcohol, It' is an absolute medicine in a great many cases, and there'is nothing .that can do the work it does so effectually and well. There are a good many people now alive and useful, that would be under the sod but. properly administered stimulant I am writing .about; people tonjes are qf no avail, while ’ alcohol. afits; Ifke a jharm. tym't imagine I-ant dpopyjug tpffiWW efforts. Not a bit of it. lam only trying to avpjd in. tolerance. And yon know how man fs given to tyrannise over his fellow if he only gets the chance, -The abuse of. alcohol is lamentable' but it has its uses for all that.

Day 1 another holiday I Well,, more powept'o ’fsm iqijg 03 the people can afford it. And there rcaa no njlstake the holiday' last'' Saturday, . The very I>i“k . f) f weather, just a trifle red-hot, hut a pleasing that suited all tastes. It was just the thing fgr {he resatta. just the thjng fqr the races at isUnd Bay, just tlje thing for picnickers, and just the thing for etay at herpes. For there wae wind enough to blow the yachts along, and hot enough t 6 raise a sea to spoil the rowing; people at the races could 101 l about, without fear of rheumatic consequences, and b() sure that all the events would come off, a great comfort to owners and jockeys. Picnickers cqujd pot wish fof apything better, for there y»j the ?trqnge§t sn4uceipotfE tp tffejf the. shade of untbragfiops has)} and eq.fem hunting in couples. As for the stay at b ,, n?' ,B i they did an enormous loaf, : anathematised the iheat, and drank temperance mixtures. Anyhow, all enjoyed’themselves; and; thus the object of the holiday was attained. ’

The day ww pallet the Anniversary of the Colony, but it was not wadp a polonial holiday. While Wellington was in the thick of recrgatiop other parts 61 the Colony were hard at work. And presently wa ahalUhear of Anniversary Day being (kept some • where else. Auckland, Dunedin, Christchurch,, have anniversaries on their separate accounts, and talk as we do of the Anniversary of, the Colony. . Wonder when.segregation wllf bo abandoned, and a resolute effort after unanimity, on this momentoos subject, be made. What nonsense to be holding anniversaries all through the year. Why " can’t folks resolve to sink local

differences and adopt a general anniversary standard ? Makeitthe New Zealand Saint Day, andall,from the Three Kings to Stewart Island, shout and rejoice together that old Tasman did happen to come along this way in his “ dug out." That would be something like a holiday, by which all parts of tbe Colony would be brought into sympathetic communion. Theta might be a general interchange of congratulatory telegrams on the previous evening between the various municipal institutions, and, for once, all men might thank God they were as other men. This is a matter that Parliament should interest itself about. By enactment appoint a day as a general holiday, and the Colony’s very day and no mistake. No fear about the psople not taking to it. Who ever heard of them missing a holiday chance ?

Like many another institution, and like a whole lot of individuals, Gray’s Private Band —as it delights to be dabbed—has blown itself into notoriety. It has been blown all over the district during the last four or five years, and succeeded, after desperate efforts, in at last securing a certificate of merit from the Caledonian Society. The certificate is a gem in its way, and denotes on the part of those who prepared it a very high-class acquaintance with music. I should think every member of. the Caledonian Society had studied double bags. As for the band—well, it Is a sight to see it aftjw a long and hot day's work. The uniforms must be trying, and those peakless caps ! The toast of “ all the skin off yer nose " might be very appropriately drunk by the members in a parting glass. ’Tis astonishing what those Gray fellows will go through for the sake of an idea. Enthusiasts to a man, time and space is nothing to them when they got into the thick of it; They never tire, and, I will say, have developed large organs of benevolence. They are always ready to officiate in some one’s behoof, and are ready to blow hot or blow cold just as the weather serves. Considered as a local institution Wellington has causa to be proud of its private band, but why it is called private when it plays about everywhere is more than I can tell. At.d someone gave it a benefit the other night, and the people who went declared it was a benefit and no mistake. The band is, however, growing in favor with the public. The' members can play together, and hope, shortly, to develop far and away beyond those Austrian chaps who were here the other year. One of ’em, the skipper, X think, bothered me to write something about them, and I’ve done it, and I’ll bet he or they or someone will growl at it j there is no pleasing some people. Shouldn’t wonder also it the Caledonian Society declares I have sneered at them when I vow I havh’t. It’s all complimentary, very strongly so.

I marvel that Judge Richmond should have expressed the slightest surprise at tbe mudtbrowiug indulged In by some of tbe learned profession who out capers before him in wig and! gown, when he knows that personal inu endoes and getting up dirty cases is vitality itself to a certain proportion of the aforesaid profession. From and before the days of Dodson and Fogg it was so, and will continue to the end. What else can be expected from the .members of a calling that has become so exceedingly common. All and sundry turn to it now, and if Sir G. Grey could have his way, it would be just like butchering or carpentering, not a quarter so select ns pawnbroking. The gentlemen, who yet constitute the majority, had better. look closely to the preservation of their position and reputation. Asmodeds,