COMEDY IN THE HOUSE

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1847, 31 July 1907, Page 15

COMEDY IN THE HOUSE

A CANDID CRITIC. PERSONAL WORD PICTURE. Mr McLachlan’s contribution to the financial debate in the House TTednesday took the form of a personal criticism of members who had already spoken. The member for Ashburton was in merry mood, and he entertained the House for half an hour with some references to his fellow-members which provoked tlie utmost laughter. Attention was first directed to the leader of the Opposition. “I have great respect for him," said Mr McLachlan. “lie was here when I came into the House in ’94. 1 always looked upon Mr Massey as a coming man; in fact, had he been a little older than me, I would have opposed his position. (Laughter.) But seeing that he had so much more vitality than me, I gave way to him. Mi* Massey is a man no one should tackle without some consideration—even the Right Hon. Sir Joseph Ward regards him as a foeman worthy ot ins steel. (Laughter.) '‘Mr Massey’s criticism of the Financial Statement was a bic washy. (Laughter.) But, ob, when he came to the Customs storms, and to the omissions and remissions —(an hon. member, ana commissions”)—no, not commissions, the other anomalies —the leader or tne Opposition excelled himself. I was pleased at him, and sorry for Mr Millar. (Laughter.) Of course, my sympathies are on the other side of the House" (pointing to the Government benches). “And when Mr McNab came on the ground—ho, ho!—with his claymore,and put on a martial air and walked to the front and challenged the Massey to a combat —well, it reminded me of Roderick Dim.” (Here Mr McLachlan pic-

tured the meeting of the two warriors of Scott’s stoTy.)—--“Massey," die added, concluding his word picture of the leader of the Opposition, only piay second fiddle to; the McNab." (Great laughter.) ' Y , - - , . • “Then there ns the -member for Bruce, lugubrious and dismai—( laughter) So impossible to. be .up-to-date. I would, not attempt to crucify Allen, because I have a personal regard, for him. (Laughter.) “Oh, lio! But Mr Wilford ! Didn’t he slaughter Mr Allen! But by the time he arrives at tlie age of Mr- Aitken he will say less and think more. (Laughter.) “Mr W. Fraser —well, he’s a useful member of society. Fraser fills a great big gap—he’s the coroner of the House, (Laughter.) Mr Fraser doesn’t want a jury; he returns a verdict without any jury at all. (Laughter.) “Mr Barber —he was great on shoddy, I notice. Why that should be introduced into a prominent debate as this I don’t know. We ought to be above shoddy. (Laughter.) (Here came an interjection from Mr Thomson.) My friend on the right is always worth listening to, but the worst of it is you have to lister, for an hour before you know what he is going to say." (Laughter.) Coming to the tariff. Mr McLachlan said: —“Fancy the Government giving away .£20,000 to the big sheep-farmer! No one in the community earns money so easily as the big. squatter. It was done in orde- to curry favour with the woolly man. Have they given notice to sack all the sheep inspectors? What of the cattle? Many thousands of cows have been slaughtered at the will of an inspector who knew no more about it than the hon. member for Hawera.” (Laughter.) A voice: What about motor-cars? Mr McLachlan: I don’t like motorcars —never will have one. I don’t like the stink of them. (Uproarious laughter.)