STORIES OF WAR.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1714, 4 January 1905, Page 21

STORIES OF WAR.

FIGHTING SPEECH. If, as Dr Campbell defines it, eloquence is “the art by which a discourse is adapted to its end,” a certain Admiral Stark was decidedly an orator. “Boys,” he paid, “there are the enemy. We must conquer them before night or Molly Stark is a widow!” JACK ALOFT. During the storming of .a Maori stockade, in 1845, a sailor named Sergeant, of B.M.S. Castor, climed to the top of the stockade and commenced firing at every one of the enemy he Could see. When, wr-dered to get down into safety he coolly Implied : "Oh, no, your honour. Here's the place to see "'em! Come up here.” It was afterwards found that his cap had been shot off, his coat shot through in four places, while the palisade on which lie eat was riddled through and through. Bat the man himself was absolutely untouched. MARINE'S FEAR. On board one of H.M.'s ships a number of men wore talking about the North Bole, and were commenting upon its seaetrtific use if found, when a young m&riile, who had been listening very attentively, said: '’Well, for my part, I hope they won't find it.” “Wot for?” said someone. "Well, said the marine, “don't you think we have enough pests to stick sentries on without having the North Pole?” MISSED SOMETHING. A sailor once went to a little coast town theatre to see a certain play. During one of the most dramatic scenes the gallery broke down and fell into the pit. fortunately without doing much injury. Jack was in the gallery. After some years on foreign service Jack again visited the same playhouse. By a curious coincidence, the same play was being enacted on the stage. At the psychological moment, when he concluded that the gallery was timed to come down, J>aek, hie face beaming, with expectancy, looked up and cried; — “Now, ye lubbers aloft, look out for squalls )” He was astonished to find that the collapse of the gallery was not a regular feature of the performance. CLEVER DO^KETr.

Captain Lamb ton, R.JM., when a Parliamentary candidate for Newcaefcle-on-Tyne $1900), told the electors a story of a ride which he and Lord Charles Bsresford on donkeys in Egypt. “Charlie's" mount became restive enough to unseat its gallant rider. **fWliola, Tipperary/' shouted Lord Charles, and the peculiar form of the address roused Captain Lambton's curiosity. ‘‘What are you calling that Egyptian moke Tipperary for?" he asked. "Well," was the cheery reply, “Tipperary also unseated me when 1 stood at an election!"

MONK'S RESOLVE. During the great sea fight with the Dutch in 1066, when the English ships, greatly outnumbered, were compelled to Tetreat, the extreme rear was covered by George Monk, Duke of Albemarle, who, like a wounded lion, kept his enemies at bay. Some of the officers were not unreasonably apprehensive of the probable result of the unequal struggle. "At least," said Monk, “I am pure of one thing—that I will not be taken."

“And," ©ays the young Duke of Buckingham, a volunteer on board the flagship, "when we spied him charging a very little pistol, and putting it in his pocket, we could imagine no reason for it except his having taken a resolution of going down to the powder-room to blow up the ship, in case at any time it should be in danger of’being taken; and therefore we, in a laughing way, most meritoriously resolved to throw him overboard in case we should ever catch him going dowh to the powder-room !" Such extreme action was unnecessary, however, for Prince Rupert cam© up with reinforcements, and a further battle ensued, but it was indecisive.