SHOULD GIRLS MARRY WIDOWERS?

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1665, 27 January 1904, Page 23

SHOULD GIRLS MARRY WIDOWERS?

IF THEY WISH THEIR MARRIED LIFE TO RUN SAIOOTHLY THEY CANNOT DO BETTER.

A girl remarked not long ago, with reference to the impending marriage of a friend, "just fancy, and the man a widower.” ' Does this mean that a prejudice exists against widowers? Evidently it does, but why ? There is surely no good rear son why they should not make as desirable husbands as any man; indeed, one would think they would make better husbands upon the whole. Do they not A having been married, know all about woman’s little ways,; her little eccentricities,. her humours, and such like? They should, for, in those things one woman is singularly like; amoflher. . t ... i

i The main argument in favour of girls marrying widowers is this, namely, that widowers know what to avoid, as well as, what to, do. The one is as important as tho other. if not more important.-

A widower knows the kind of things which offend or raose 'dhe temper, of women: he has learnt when it is unwise to use his tongue; he understands the many signs which show that trouble is likely to arise and 1 ini obedience to them he acts in a manner calculated to keep matters going smoothly. Then the "greenness” is off a Widower, He; has had experience of married l life, and pah guide a wife in many ways, and he is WQT% tolerant than the average hot-headed • youth; he knows that wo~ man is a creature .of mhoids . and fancies, iand act© accordingly.. Thereforea girl jEttarryiag a slower will certainly have

much more of' her own way that if she had married a single man. The first year, of married life is '.usually a somewhat difficult time for a young wife. She has so many things to learn, so many trifling items to discover; and, of course, if'.she married a single man, ho is in khe same boat.

The first.year is a time of surprises—some pleasant, others distinctly the reveise, . If a girl marries a widower, however, she won t have such a long time of tho surprise business. He wi- 1 1 be able to teach her many things. The girl in fa.ct, is in the hands of one who, if he be a sensible man, is a capital tutor and wise counsellor. IL. any Kittle trouble connected with the household' arise, or any untoward event happens, she has but to go to him and he will usually be able to show her the way -out. • Now these things greatly trouble a ycung and inexperienced' couple. They don’t know what to do; often enough a neighbour lias to be asked for advice. One can thus see that the girl who marries a widower has an easier tune of it from the very start than if she married a youth'who had never been through tlie matrimonial mill.

A young couple, too, are often bothered with relations, some advising one thing, some another. Acta have no idea what a nuisance relatives are to a newlyvvejlded couple. But the widower will soon put his ioot down on that sort of thing; he remembers what it was before. He will have none of it, and relatives are kept at a distance. It cannot be explained here all that this last sentence means, but if any girl asks a few married ladies about the bother connected with relations, she will get her eyes opened with a,vengeance. Do you begin to see the advantage of marrying a widower? It is very great indeed. A widower, having been married, knows the right kind of women to l select as friends for his wife; the average young man cannot be expected to* gauge the character of different women accurately. The married man. can, as a pile, and thus the girl who weds a widower is kept right so far as society goes. Then a widower can direct a young wife in the way of spending money. Much cash is lost, by a young couple starting housekeeping, which, if they had a little experience,_ could be saved. Of course, it is saved if the man be a widower; lie sees to that. It has been said that a widower makes a harsh husband, but this is not true. He may not bo so loving or sentimental as the average youth, but there is more real worth in the' love lie does display. A widower is really very tender with a girl, and treats his young wife with greet respect, as something to be greatly treasured. We grant you’that a girl who marries a widower does not thoroughly appreciate what the early days of matrimony really mean, in the usual sense. Her life is much smoother; there are not the worries, the battles, the inconveniences, the struggles which are so common when two single persons wed. The girl who weds a widower has an easier time of it in every way. There is no reasoin why a prejudice should exist against widowers. They make excellent husbands—not ever-lov-ing perhaps, b.ut good honest, sterling men are 'they in the major ay of cases. So if any girl vffeo reads this gets an offer from an eligible widower, let her not . miss the chance, but aogept him at once —that is, of course, if she loves him.