SOME TURKISH ANECDOTES

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1507, 17 January 1901, Page 39

SOME TURKISH ANECDOTES

(From "The Turk and tlie Land of the Haig.”) THE HODJA AND THE BEGGAR. A belated 1 beggar knocked at. the Hodjas door. “What do you want?” he. called down from an upper window. “Come down, good Hodja, and I will tell you,” replied the mendicant. Having descended and opened the front door, the beggar asked for alms. “Come upstairs,” said the Hodja, and themmendicant was taken to the top floor. “T am sorry, poor man, ’ said the Hodja, f, I have no alms for you.” “Why did you not tell me so at the door?” inquired the beggar, angrily. “Why did you not tell me what you wanted before I came down ?” ret tor ted the Hodja. THE COPPER VESSEL. The Hodja from a friend a large copper vessel in which to do hie washing. A few days afterward the vessel is returned cleaned, washed, and polished. Inside of it is another, but much smaller copper vessel. “What is this, Hodja?” asks his friend. “I lend' you one vessel and yem bring me back two!” “It is very curious/' says the Hodja. “It appears that your vessel, while in my possession, must have given birth to a baby vessel- Of course both belong equally to you.” “Oh, thank you, good Hodja,” says the man, laughing, and takes, both vessels. Some time after this the Hodja, again applies ,for the loan of the large vessel—“the mother vessel.” as he describes it. The demand is readily granted. Before leaving, the Hodja inquires for the health of the /baby vessel." He expresses pleasure at hearing that it is doing extremely well. A week, then a month, elapses, but no Hodja'appears Co return the borrowed vessel. The proprietor, at length losing patience, goes himself to obtain it. “Very sorry,” says Hodja, “but your copper vesel is dead.” Hodja!” cries the other in surprise, “what do ydu mean?” “Just what I say,” replied the Hodja, “your vessel is dead.” “Nonsense, Hodja!” says the man, irritated at the Hodja’s quiet manner; “how can a copper vessel die?” “Read your natural history, mv good friend," answers the imperturbable, puffing quietly at his long pipe, “and you will see that everything that, gives birth .to a child must inevitably succumb in duo course to the fate of all jnortals. You were willing to belieke that your vessel had given birth to a ‘baby’ vessel. Why do you now doubt my word As to its being dead?” IF IT PLEASE GOD. One night, before retiring, the Hodja said to his wife : “If it rain to-morrow, I shall go to my field; if it doeis not rain, I shall go to my vineyard.” “Say, ‘lf it please God/ Hodja,” his wife. “Whether it please God or not/’ replied the xlodja, “I shall go. to one or the other. “Hodj;t,” said his wife, “say, ‘lf it please God.’ ” “Nothing of the kind,” said the Hodia ; “I shall go.” Next day it was not raining, and the Hodja started to go to his vineyard. He did not go far, howeveL, before he was stopped by the kino’s troopers, who compelled him to work all day in repairing the road, and it was quite late when he reached home. His wife, putting her head out of the window, asked who it was. “Wife,” replied the Hodja, “if it please God, it is me.” INOPPORTUNE BRAYING. A friend calls on the Hodja to borrow his donkey. “Very sorry,” says the Hodja, who does not want to lend the! animal, “but the donkey is not here ; I have let him out for the day.” Unfortunately, just at that moment the donkey begins to bray loudly, thus giving the direct lie to the Hodja. “How is this. Hodja ?” says his friend. “You say the donkey is away, and here he is braving in the stable.” The Hodja, nothing daunted, replies, “My delar sir, please do not demean yourself so low as to believe the donkey rather than myself—a fellowman, and a. venerable Hodja with a long gray beiard.” GOD GRANT YOU LONG LIFE. The Hodja used to preach in the parish school. He had taught his pupils that whenever he happened to sneeze they should all stand up, and, clapping theifi hands together, cry out, “God grant you long life, Hodja!” This the pupils regularly did whenever the Hoclja sneezed. One day the bucket geHs loose, and falls into the well of the schoolhouse. As the pupils are afraid to go down into the well to fetch up the bucket, the Hodja undertakes the task. He accordingly strips, and tying a rope to his waist, asks liis pupils to lower him carefully into the well, and pull him up again when he gives the signal. The Hodja goes down, and having caught the bucket, shouts to his pupils to pull him up, but when they have drawn him nearly out he suddenly sneezes. The pupils immediately let go the rope, clap their hands, and shout down