AN AMUSING LUNATIC.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1267, 11 June 1896, Page 9

AN AMUSING LUNATIC.

Almost every bank of any standing has its oflice lunatic. There are about eight harmless lunatics in Sydney, who wander vacantly into banks all tho year round, and say they want to draw' out £'lßo,ooo, and are persuaded to go away with more or lea) dilliculty. The number keeps about the same ; now .and I lien one is run over by a cart, or dies of old ago ; or becomes violent and goes into an asylum ; and now and then a new ciaek takes to the gaum ; hut, cxc pt at panic times, there isn’t much competition. Tho most, deep rooted maniac of the crowd is the brother of a n iw-forgotten Q, politician. Fight or ten years .ago im bee turn convinced that the N.S. W. Govt, owed him £”>!),000, and for months he drifted into all sorts of public ofliees, and tried to collect his money from the Superintendent of Explosives, or the Chief Justice, or tho Valuer under the Heal Properly Act, with equal hopi‘folnes< and vim. At last a venerable messenger, wlm ivpie minted himself as the Colonial Treasurer and principal engine driver to the Neglected Children’s Department, ex pi -.mod to him that the money had been paid to his credit at a certain Sydney bank and for about seven years lie has called thero for it persistently. Sometimes he calls three times in a week ; at other times, once in six weeks satisfies him. In wot weather he generally insinuates a’ dripping gamp into the ledger keeper’s department to draw that ollicer’s attention, and hands up his cheque to be initialled ; or else ho runs after the general manager, if he happens to be about, and tries to catcli him with the crook of the umbrella and explain tilings to him. The result is mostly an entry in the petty cash, "Gratuity to lunatic, 3d," or something to that ell’ect. On two occasions ho has managed to look sane enough to persuade speculative lawyers to serve writs on the institution, and once be filled in a deposit-slip and handed it in along with a large chunk of mud which he wanted to put to his credit immediately. On ono blissful occasion he vanished

for four months, and it transpired that the Queensland politician had shipped his eccentric relative to England. Then one day a cipher cable arrived from the London oflice : 11 Blank and Co,, solicitors, suing behalf .1. Thingumbob, £50,000. Cable instructions." It was the wcllremembered lunatic again, and it look a loQof expensive cablegrams to settle the trouble. It was setiied at last, however, and then, three months later, just when the local oflice was settling down to its accustomed calm, a familiar moist umbrella appeared over the partition of the ledger keeper’s department, and the familiar cheque for £SO,OUJ was handed up to be initialled ouce more. The ollice lunatic had come back. Then the messenger, with great presence of nr.r.d, rushed him into tv cab, told him that a beautiful female of immense wealth was waiting at the Coffee Palace to marry him, and sent him off at a gallop. There was a considerable row at a number of coffee palaces that day through a strange min trying to hustle the nearest: waitress into a cab and take her to the registrar there and then, but fortunately no one was killed.— ■Halhdln.