Here and There.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1057, 2 June 1892, Page 13

Here and There.

The English Prime Minister ran very near losing his life recently. The London correspondent of the Sheffield Standard u riles . Lord Salisbury was in peril of a terrible accident on Monday night. 110 was ciossing Bridge street to the Clock Tower entrance to Parliament when a hansom cab dashed oil rioht on his track. In the cab was the chief agent of the Tory party, who had just entered it from his offico in St. Stephen’s chambersPerceiving the Premier’s danger, ho jumped up, seized the reins in the middle, and pulled the horse back on ils haunches. Otherwise Lord Salisbury would have been knocked down and run over. Happily his lords up was untouched and unhurt. The person most affected by the incident was the policeman on fixed-point duty, the frantic waving of whoso arms, like semaphores gone mad, nrst directed the Tory chief agent to his chief s peril.

It is estimated that over thirteen thousand children -are attending private schools within the Colony.

The Wanganui Chronicle says :—There is no end to the descriptions of property on which banking institutions are ready to fix their talons by way of collateral security for advances. But we confess to being considerably astonished the other day at seeing an itnmonso crocodile being deposited in the vaults of a local bank. If the ownor fails to come up to time his own carcase may be exp cted to be clutobed next.

A notable example of the ‘ tli'-ee black crows’ class of fiction comes from Yorkshire. A Scarborough clorgyman oil opening Ins newspaper the other day found therein an utterly unfounded statement to the effect that his consort had presented him with triplets. He immediately caused enquiry to be made as to the source of this astounding story, and he found it was as follows: His married daughter and her children had arrived at his house on a visit ; the event had been described by one neighbour to another as an addition of three to the minister’s family ; by the natural law of evolution that was transformed into a c so of triplets; and a local correspondent getting hold of the story, sent it in that form to the newspapers.

New Zealand Life is the title of a new weekly paper published at Dunedin first three numbers are before us, but beyond the fact that it is well printed we cannot say much for the paper. It is not bright enough, but may improve. We wish the proprietors every success.

A storv apropos Mr Eroude’s succession to Mr Freeman in the Begins Professorship of Modern History, is told by the British Weekly: Mr Freeman * for many years exhausted language in abusing Mr Froude. At last the latter was stung to reply. In the course of his article he admitted that ho had not vi ited, as he ought to have done, and as Mr Freeman did, the scones of the historical events he de* scribed. The reason was simply that he was a poor man who could nob afford to do »o, whereas Mr Freeman was rich.. On this Mr Freeman vowed that he would never again venture to criticise Mr Froude. And he never did.

The present Speaker of the Victorian Legislative Assembly was, in the early sixties, a market gardener at Brighton. He is the Prince of Lobbyists.

The following item will give us some idea of the power of the modern big,guns:—A new Armstrong gun has just been tested in England. With a charge of 9601 bof powder, it sent a cylindrical steel Bhot weighing 18001 b through 20in of steel armour, sir_ o f iron, 20fb of oak” sft of granite, arid lift of hard concrete. It could knock a hole through any ship in the world. It weighs 110 tons, is 43ft 9in long, and sft 6in thick at the base. But gunners cannot afford to miss the mark, for every shot costs nearly lOOOdol, and the monster cannot be fired more tliau seventy-five times before bursting.

Mr Alexander Allan, senior partner of the firm owning Hie Allan Lire steamers, died on April 2. He bad been in ooor health for some time. Mr Allan was a native of Greenock, and was sixty-seven years of age. His wife died in February last, leaving a fortune of over half a million.

Il is evident, from the numerous advertisements which it pays him to insert, that the private detective is becoming an important personago at Home. Ho, too, like so many other advertisers, is taking to humour of a quality quite as good as that, of most of the * new humourists.’ Perhaps the fun of the following announcement would be called ‘pawky ’ : 'S DETECTIVES (MADE and EE MALE) f. r SECRET WATCHING, ascertaining where people co what they do, the compray they keep, whether the club is responsible for late hours, and if shopping alone occupies so much time.

Notwithstanding the recent death of a lion tamer in a bljow in the Midlands, there seems at present a perfect craze in the of England, among a certain class of foolhardy persons, to enter the lion's den. One of these * braves,’ a tailor of the town, has made suc.i an exhibition of his pluck at Redruth. Entering a cage containing three lions, he belaboured the animals with a heavy stick, his only weapon, driving them around the cage. Addressing the spectators, he called upon some person to follow his example, and depreciated the monarch of the forest by calling its representatives present ‘ rats.’ Wo are told that the man remained in the den several minutes, and that he was loudly cheered on making his exit. Exhibitions of this kind are constantly taking place; bat j should an ‘accident’ occur, and the Bhovr j

proprietor bo prosecuted for manslaughter, an end might be put to them.

Heard on Brighton Pier. Gus Ah doncher know —ah—you Americans talk with your noses. Hiram (promptly) That s all rioht. And don’t you forget that yon English talk with your don’t-you-knowses.

Mr Streeter, in his book on ‘ Precious Stones and Gems,’ a fiffh edition oE which lias just been called for, tells a strange story showing how successfully jewels are imitated nowadays. A lady had had bequeathed toiler some family jewels, consisting ,of a sapphire and diamond suite. As they had passed several times there was no doubt in the minds of the legatee of their genuineness. Oh being applied to, however, in relation to their value, he had the unpleasant duty of pronouncing the ‘sapphires’ to be only paste. Had they been genuine, he adds, they would have realised from £30,000 to £40,000. But paste is not the only substitute for real gems. The spinel and the balaa, the one a lively poppy red, the other a violet rose, frequently usurp the dignity of a true ruby, yet the pure ruby of 10 carats is almost beyond valuation, while the other atones, called by the same name, are only of trifling value.

The fierce opposition to Kanaka labour still continues in Queensland. There are certainly some very ugly facts to be quoted a»ainst coloured labour. During the census period 1886-1891, out of 10,000 Kanakas m Queensland (8000 on sugar plantations), the death bill was 2577, or over one-fourth of them. In bio latest report the RegistrarOeneral of Queensland, writing on the Kanaka death rate, said ‘ This notable high death rate of Polynesians may be accounted for in several ways, some of which causes, no doubt, lead to consumption, tbe most prevalent amongst people of this race.

Says the Bulletin :—The Queensland Ministry, having started to live riotously off the country’s inheritance and pass on the consequences to posterity, is resolved to keep up the process. . This month 164,000 acres are to be sold, and 400,000 more are to go in June, and after that, in all -probability, the monthly land sales will become a fixed institution. By dint of land sales and loans the Griffilwraith Government can just manage to crowd through. By-and-bye there will be no more land to sell, no more loans to be repaid out of revenue, and there will bo chaoß.

People who think the British ‘Anarchist’ a mere harmless ‘ crank ’ should read his newspapers. There is a pernicious ‘ organ ’ ot the wretched faction, called the Commonweal, which raves mischievously this week ovor the Walsall trial. The condemned Anarchists ai-e, of course, the victims of a police plot, and their comrades are advised to beware of conspiracies and spies :— ‘ Surely those who desire to act can do as John Felton did when, alone and unaided, ho bought the knife which struck down the tyrant.’ This is a pretty ‘ straight tip.’ But the writer makes it straighter :—‘Are there no tyrants now ? What of the Jesuitical monster at the Homo Office who murders men for taking a few head of game? What of the hyena, who preys upon the bodies of hanged men, and whose love of gallows a few years ago won him the title of ‘ Hangman Hawkins ’ : This barbarous brute, whilo prating of his ‘ humanity,’ sends our comrades to ten years in the hell of the prisons. What of the spy Melville, who sots his agents on to concoct the plots whioh he ‘ discovers ’ ? Are these men fit to live ?’—St. James’ Budget.

Money makes money, and the most success ful gamblers are those who can beat afford to loser Mr W. Vanderbilt, the American railway king, was recontly ’playing at Monte Carlo, and winning enormous sums.

Lord Wolseley tells a story in tho United Service Magazine of how one evening in the Crimea in his tent were assembled a group of ‘ young, ardent, and educated ’ engineer officers, who were disgusted with the slo-vness and want of idea which characterised the oldfashioned pipeclay generals,’ and who recognised that ‘ all the military ability was in Todleben’s camp, not in ours.’ One of the ablest men present suggested that ‘if the English Government had any worldly wisdom the Prime Minister would enter into a contract for tho capture of the place with some great firm of contractors who knew nothing of Yauban, and who would make short work of tho Russian defences.’ It may not bo generally known that when tho French supply system broke down in 1870 application was actually made to Spiers and Pond to feed the French army, in spite of the obvious fact that this would have been a breach of nationality.

Mr Janies Goater, a once celebrated English jockey, died on April 6, at his private residence at Newmarket, after a long and painful illness. The deceased leaves a widow and family.

‘ Scotty , writes from Stirling to Modern Society :— ‘ I thought we would do it and we did. Last autumn there came to this town of the rock two American women, who were “ takin’ notes ” with the intention of “ prentin’ ’em.” I have a friend who is something like Lord Lome in appearance —just a faiut resemblance in face and figure, nothing more. That friend and I were strolling on the castle ramparts when the Yankee women, who were “ doing ” the place, approached and asked some trivial questions. My friend replied and offered his services as a cicerone—services which were eagerly accepted. Pointing to a house at some little distance, he remarked, ‘ That, ladies, is Argyle Lodge; perhaps I may bo permitted to tell you who I am—l am Lord Lome, the last of my House.” That fetched the women, who gushed for half an hour before we could make our escape. Now note the result of that harmless joke. In a New York magazine, under “ Notes id Europe,” I find the following from the pen

of the fair contributor of tbe * Notes ’ in ques :—“ Wo visited Stirling Castle, and wore shown over that historical structure by a distinguished stranger, who turned out to be tbe Marquis of Lome. . . • Lord Lome was perfectly lovely, and we both lost our hearts to him, and have serious designs first upon the life of the Princess Louise, his and then on each other.” Oh ! Mea culpa!

A story illustrating tho rigid discipline of the Russian a’-my, in which the Emperor played a leading part, is told by Mr C. Johnson in the Eastern and Western Review : ‘ One of tho Grand Dukes told the Czar that a sentinel on tho level crossing at Peterhof had refused to raise tho tollbar for his carriage, although tho train was not dno for three or four minutes : “ It is against orders, your Imperial Highness 1 I can’t do it, your Imperial Highness !’ the soldier had replied , the rule being that, once the tollbar is shut, it must not be opened until after the train has passed. The Czar said he was very glad to hear that the soldier knew how to obey orders, as discipline was the very life of the army. The Grand Duke laughed, but said he was certain that if tho Czar himself had been present'disciplino would have given way before the Imperial presence.’ The Emperor did not reply, but a few days afterwards put the matter to the test by driving up with tho Empress to the level crossing just after the tollbar was crossed :— ‘ Tho Emperor called to the Bentinel of the day to let him pass. Tho sentinel, in dire trepidation, saluted, buL did not stir to tho bar. “ Open the bar, I tell you !” cried the Emperor ; “don’t you know who I am !” “ Yes, your Imperial Majesty. I know, your Imperial Majesty! but I can’t, your Imperial Majesty !’ It s against orders, your Imperial Majesty ! answered the sentinel, still saluting, and turning blue with anxiety, hut not moving an inch from bis place. I{ Xam tho Emperor, and I command you to open !’’ cried the Czar again. “ Can’t do it, your Imperial Majesty,” despairingly cried tho sentinel, still standing firm, but too disconcerted to note the smile in the Emperor’s eyes. Just then the train passed, tho Emperor burst into a fit Homeric laughter, and warmly commending the astonished sentry, presented him with a twenty-five rouble note and drove back to the palace.’

The Dunstau Times, under young MrPvke’s management, is going to be one of the most vigorous of our goldfields’ contemporaries. A chip of the old block, you see.

It was in Mr Onslow Ford's studio on Show Sunday. I stood (writes a correspondent of the Pall Mall Gazette) before the Marlowe memorial statue, a replica of which was so recently unveiled by Mr Irving at Canterbury. Dr Garnett, of the British Museum, stood there also, and thus did he pass the time witli an anecdote. On the day of the unveiling he heard a rustic say : ‘ Yea, and a very good man to put a statue up to, too !’ He was delighted, and at once entered into conversation with the speaker. “ Well, yes, mister, that’s what I think, and I knew him well.” “ Oh, come ! you are not so old as that, you know; Marlowe was an Elizabethan poet.” “ I dunno about that; he wor a good sort, whatever people might say. lam going to see his widder now ; she lives hard by here.’ “Ho is either mad or somewhat mixed,’ thought the Doctor within liimaelf. A sudden thought struck him. “ Who is it you think the statue is being erected to, my friend ?” “ Why, to Marwood, the executioner, of course 1 He come from these parts, and were a rare good sort. Good-night. Good afternoon to you, sir.’

Some intertaiuing sporting gossip is given by Mr George Miinnen in the National Review out of the Game Book ot Belvoir Castle. Here is an incident referring to the to the Prince and Princess of Wales to Longsilaw in 1875: - ‘The Duke a favourite retriever called “ Prince.” One evening, at dinner, the conversation turned on this dog, and the Duke said that lately he had not boon behaving well. The subject dropped. Next day the pr : ncess came out to luncheon with the shooters. The carriage drove up just before a drive. Her Royal Highness waited until it was over, and then walked on to where the Duke, who was the nearest gun, was busy picking up bis birds. “ Well, Duke,” she said, ‘ and how is the Prince behaving to day ? Pretty well, I hope ? ‘ Tory barfly indeed, Ma’am,” the Duke replied. He won’t pick up his birds. If lie doesn’t behave better after luncheon I will send him home. ’ The princess was naturally astonisiiod ; but she said nothing, and wont on to luncheon. A little later the Dulco was informed that it was the Prince that had been enquired after —not the dog—and so hastened to make his apologies.

It is very unfortunate for the Europeanised Bengalees that they lie under the suspicion of being rather deficient in pluck. Perhaps tho introduction of oricket and football at the principal colleges may efface this little blemish ; in that case the Anglo-Indian may be more disposed to regard the Bengalee as a man and a brother. Some slight reason for hopefulness on that head is afforded by a letter from a baboo lately employed with the Gilgit Field Force to the commanding officer, Colonel Durand. During the hot fight at Nilt he wroto :— ’ I beg to state that I do not consider this a suitable place for a commissariat. The cartridges are Hying over me in great numbers. It is not for myself that I fear, but for the flour which is in my charge.’ This is the neatest thiug in the way of an excuse for funk that we have &een. A statue of the late Duke of Clarence is to be set up alongside that of the late John Brown at Balmoral. General Booth has established a Salvation Army Matrimonial Bureau, and announces tho interesting fact in tho following eminently characteristie notice : —‘ Safety matches are now made by the social wing without sulphur or phosphorous, which will flame without striking. What do. we mean 1 Why, just this. That if yaw are unmarried and do not

know where to choose a partner, you can communicate with Colonel Barker, Matrimonial Bureau, 101, Queen Victoria street, E.C., and he will most probably supply you with just what you want —somebody lovable and good.

The mind of the archaeological world is at present much exercised anent an extraordinay ‘ find ’at Helsingfors, in Finland. It consists of a huge chest with complicated fastenings of iron, which, together with tho details of its structure, point to an early date in the middle ages. On being opened the chest was found to contain a quantity ot ancient ironwork and a large roll of parchments, which were at once given into the custody of M. Rizeff, one of the chief magistrates of the town. The manuscript upon examination proved to be a complete, detailed treatise in Latin on steam considered as a force, and on its application —in short, a very accurate discourse on modern physics.

The iron work is stated to form a rudimen-tai-y steam engine, the cylinders, pistons, and other parts of which had been taken to pieces, but are wonderfully fashioned, considering their undoubted antiquity. Each piece bears the inscription, ‘ Suger parens Galliac fecit.’ This Suger was a well-known administrator under both Louis VI. and Louis VII. During the latter monarch’s absence in the Holy Land, Suger acted as Regent, and for his able services received from the King the title ‘ Rere de la Patrie.’ Suger died iu 1152 when on tbe point of starting for a crusade. It will, indeed, bo an ‘ aveugement of Waterloo ’ if it should be proved boyond all doubt whatever that the Marquess of Worcester, Savery, Newcomen and Watt were anticipated by a Gallicean monk of the 12th century, but it 13 siid the Chinese had steam engines at an earlier date !

The subject of Tommy Atkins and his tucker has been investigated by a royal commission. One witness examined, Private George Spratt, said: —Directly I enlisted I found that everything was different to the conditions I had enlisted under. I had it explained to me that I was to have all the rations free, and havo good rations, good sound meals for breakfast, dinner and tea ; but when I joined I found that I did not get a good sound breakfast or dinner, and that I had a very bad tea, and I did nob get anything from four o’clock in the afternoon until eight o’clock next morning, that is sixteen hours, when I had to go on guard all night, perhaps such a night as last night; and I found that that was not at all satisfactory to me, and on that account I think I had a grievance as regards food. Then sometimes the food I had was bad, iu fact, it was not fit to eat, because we had to throw it away into what we call the swill-tub. If we complained, the orderly officer told us we could have some food out of our own messing book, that is the book we pay 3d a day to, and what we get our extra tea* bread and butter out of; so that if a man made a complaint and said his dinner was not satisfactory, all tlm consideration he got was to pay for a new dinner out of his own pocket. I think it might be improved in this way : let the men hive all their rations free without any stoppages out of the Is a day, and if those rations were good, and the men got three-quarters of a pound of YYieafc, as at present laid down, I think that would do.

Captain ‘ Calliope ’ Kane, has been appointed Flag Captain on board the Viotory, under Admiral Lord Clanwilliam. The appointment is a very comfortable one, but great regret is felt that, owing to the results of an accident experienced on board the Inflexible last year, Captain Kane cannot command his old love, the Calliope, and act as Commodore on the North West African Station.

A South African nuisance is the locust. In New Zealand trains have been stopped by caterpillars; in South Africa the same thing occurs with locusts. An extract from a South African letter says :—The whole country is infested with locusts. They are in swarms everywhere, and it is a bad look-out for the winter, although we have had a nice summer so many thunder showers which have kept up the grass in spite of locusts. I went to East London for my holidays, and on the way down our train was stopped for more than an hour by the locusts.

The German Emperor, who already possesses more than a score of country seats palaces, castles, and hunting lodges is about to build himself a jagdscliloss in the deer park at Potsdam. It is to be constructed of timber, in the Norwegian fashion, and will be erected by a body of carpenters from Norway, nil the materials having been brought from that country iu a Norwegian brig which arrived recently at Swinotnunde _ from Christiania. The Emperor’s policy in employing foreigners to build his new shootingbox, in’ view of the prevailing distress iu Germany, is severely criticised in Berlin. Says the Napier Telegraph A property owner at Hastings was giving evidence in the Assessment Court recently in defence of the value he placed on his own property. Counsel on the opposite side asked if it was not a fact that a property at Hastings, of between two and three hundred acres, recently fetched £.27 per acre. ‘ Well,’ said the witness, ‘ I have not heard of it, but if that is so, Carlyle’s saying that this world is com* posed of men and women —mostly fools, ia amply borne out.’ Is the classic phrase, ' Would you be surprised to hear V which,-thanks to Lord, then Sir John, Coleridge, became so familiar to the jurors in the Tichborne ejectment suit, to be for ever banished from the armoury of the professional cross-9xaminer ? Counsel in a case at the Birmingham Assizes having ventured to put a question to a witness in this historical form, Mr Justice Denman sternly observed, ‘ Don’t say “ Would you be surprised to bear ?” 3fou may have some fscts

on which you are prepared to cross-examine, bub I don’t think it makes it at all better to say “ Would you be surprised to hear?” It does not matter to the case (added his lordship) whether or not ho is surprised to hear anything, and I never allow that form of question.’

A peculiar death occurred at the Sydney Sailors’ Homo a fortnight ago. Mnstor Mariner John Knox was playing billiards, the one o’clock gun firel, and he dropped back insensible, and died soon afterwards.

In a Pitt street ‘ Johnny-All-Sorts ’ shop there is now exposed for sale most of the stock-in trade (two brass plates) of two recently exploded Sydney ‘ banking ’ institutions. The rest of tho brass oil which one of these ‘ banks’ traded is now iu jail.

The English Medical Press makes an extraordinary suggestion in a recent issue. It says that crocodiles make excellent fluvial scavengers, and, as the Thames has long been in want of some purifying influence, tho Corporation are recommended to import a sho»,l or two of able-bodied caymans, place them in the river, and lesiVe them to consume all tho unpleasant stuff which the once-lauded ‘ silver stream ’ contains. To prevent theft, each crocodile would bo marked with the City’s seal, for the purpose of identification. After they have thoroughly purifiod the river they are to be turned into the sewers. Our medical contemporary earnestly says, ‘ The idea is certainly worthy of consideration.’ If the experiment succeed! in the Thames, a similar course might be followed on the ‘stinking Yarra.’

A Cambridge man writes to a local paper as follows : —‘ The Lake at Hamilton is one that is likely to become famous throughout New Zealand. A few months ago I noticed by a poster issued by the Swimming Club that it was intended to hold foot sports on tho Like on a certain day; again, in Friday’s Herald, I see that tbe Hamilton Domain Board have granted permission to a number of gentlemen “to plant and fence in some half dozen clumps trees in the park reserve on the lake." Doubtless the Park Reserve refers to the group of old stumps —the remains of an ancient forest—in the western corner of the Lake ; but how the planting is to be done only the voracious correspondent knows.’

At Orange (N S. W.) lately, one Chinaman’s wife prosecuted another ditto-ditto for ‘ langwidge,’ and brought her own Celestial protector as a corroborative witness. To her disgust John, having blown out a match, staked his Confucian soul on the statement that —‘ Annie (tho defendant) welly quiet gel ; Gehty (the plaintiff and his “ missus ”) too muchee jaw-jaw, alLee samee fightea-fightee, all?e time !’ Case dismissed; pigtail barndance to follow.

A Gal ton (Q.) farmer sent down six bags of prime potatoes to a Brisbane agent, for sale. Account rendered : Sale ot potatoes, including bags, 11s ; per contra (railway freight, 8s 3d ; cartage, 6d ; commission, 6d) 9s 3d ;• balanoe (as per stamps enclosed) Is 9d.

The Leeds (Eng.) Times heaves this moral reflection after the retreating figure of Mrs Osborne, tbe pearl-thief, late of Holloway gaol :— ‘ From the period of Mrs Osborne’s disappearance from the country to the day whon she returned to take her trial for perjury, there was a sickly display of washedout sentiment in the namby-pamby columns of the namby-pamby press, and since the aristocratic lady ha 3 been waiting events in Holloway, the same sentimental clap trap has oozed out again. It goes without saying that if Mrs Osborne had been a decrepit old woman on crutches, who earned her living by hawking piris, and had been captured by a posße of disguised policemen while in the act of stealing an apron full of stale bread from the chickens in the back yard, the nambypamby press aforesaid would have let her get six months without going into hysterics about it, or pinching itself to raise the pitying tear ; but as Mrs Osborne .happens to be an aristocratic person with refined tastes and a pretty face, it must needs shriek because her cell in Holloway hasn’t been made into a drawingroom, and wall-bells haven’t been furnished for her to ring whon she requires the cook, or the housemaid, or the butler, or some other menial.

From the Bulletin :— ‘ Newnes, M.P., of Tit Bits notoriety, was fairly “ on bis uppers ” when he commenced his paper. The writer knew him well then, and lias often heard him tell how he struck oil. As a boy he had been in the habit of clipping interesting pieces from the newspapers, and at this time he had about a dozen largo scrap books full. So, as a last resource, he tried to sell them to some of the so-called comic - papers.- Ho vainly tramped London streets for a whole week, but could do nothing with them, until at length he met a publisher who remarked that he was willing to go halves with him in bringing out the scraps in a weekly periodical. Newnes’ next move was characteristic : “ If it will pay,” he thought, “ I’ll try and manage it myself.” And with the help of a couple of hopeful friends he did. The idea took; and that’s how the world’s organised plagiarism was started.’

It ha 3 been a subject for saroastio comment that some of the Opposition organs have not attributed the recent storm and the breaking of the oables to the present Ministry. It ia simply wonderful that they should have let slip such an opportunity.

The Auckland Star says :— ‘ Mr L. Ehrenfried has given to Court Robia Hood, A.0.F., of Panmure, the use of the Panmure Hall for 52 nights in the year for 939 years.’ The Northern paper might have aided that the‘Anoient Order ’ will indeed be anoient by that tidOj and bo will fcha Eaumure Hall