In Low Spirits.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 999, 24 April 1891, Page 11

In Low Spirits.

Nearly all women are subject to. fits of depression and low spirits, and only those who have suffered from them know how hard they are to fight against. Why are our girls depressed ? In nine cases out of ten I think we may trace the cause to want of regular occupation andinterestin life generally. Unfortunately so many girls are not oblige! to do anything particular ; if they dress well, dance, play lawn tennis, and entertain callers, and are, in fact, social successes, they think they have done all that is required of them. The mothers who allow their girls to waste and fritter away the best years of their lives are not only foolish, but cruel, though they imagine they are kindness itself. There is no greater mistake in the world than for girls to spend their lives waiting for the husband, who may or may not come, as the case may be. All girls cannot marry—there are not enough men to begin with, and many men are not so disposed. To be truly happy and well we must be deeply interested in some occupation. I don’t mean half an hour with a novel, and another half-hour at the piano, then a game of tennis, and then a little drawing or fancy work; in fact, a ‘ little of everything and nothing well; I mean that there should be steady work as well as steady play, for both are excellent in their way. There is such a difference between a strongminded, fussy woman with a mission, and an everyday, bright, happy woman with common sense. To ensure a girl’s happiness, never allow her from her childhood to be idle; and whatever she does, let her do it thoroughly and well, whether it be work or play. Encourage her to have a hobby of some sort. Let her choose her hobbi' as a boy chooses his profession or trade, and bring her up with the idea that she is to find her happiness in doing something, and doing it well. If she selects music, she should practise good music daily. Give her the best master you can afford, and take her to hear the best music within reach ; encourage her in every way, and help to form her tastes. Take care she is thoroughly grounded in whatever she takes up, and that she does not attempt in any accomplishment to run before she can walk. Let her work on steadily, knowing what she is about, and the reason thereof.

It is quite pitiful to see the aimless lives some girls lead, especially in small

places. lam thinking now cf a sweet little place in the country, where girls abound and men are scarce, for there is nothing to keep them there. For two months in the summer, when tlie place is full of visitors, these girls —and charming girls they are have a delightful time of it, but for the rest of the year they seem bored to death by their own existence. A miserable state of affairs, truly, and they own it, but don’t seem to have an idea how to improve matters. Need I say that they are constantly in low spirits. The fact is, they have too much time to think of themselves, and small pains are magnified into great ones, mountains made out of molehills ; they run down, become pale and thin, and fearfully weak and depressed. The doctor is called in ; there is nothing organically wrong; he prescribes tonics, and perhaps change of air. After trying both for some time the girl feels better, but the same thing soon begins all over again. She cannot settle down happily to her home life, because it is too dull; as long as she has plenty of excitement she feels all right and as strong os a lion, but directly that is over she droops, her spirits go down to zero, she fancies all sorts of things are. the matter with her, is nervous, sleepless, and generally miserable. She is much to be pitied, but not to be laughed at, for fancied ills are some' times just as hard to bear, or even harder, than real ones. The little pain that we have, or fancy we have, can be thought of till it grows and aches, and the idea grows upon the mind that something dreadful is the matter. It is thought of at all hours of the day, and in the wakeful hours of the night, till life seems a burden almost too heavy to bear.

Girls, if you ever allow yourselves to get into this weak and miserably depressed state, think of this, the remedy is in your own hands. There is no tonic in the world like work) and especially \vovk~?’"> others. Try hard to forget youvsel’vesand your imaginary pains, though you will not quite like at first being told that they only exist in your own fancy. Think of the poor, the sick, and the lonely, and let your thoughts take some practical shape. Make some little things for the poor children } 7 ou meet every clay in your walks, who in winter look so cold and blue. Think how they love a toy, a doll, or scrap-book, easy things to make ; but any amount of trouble is repaid by watching the delight of the little one, whose pleasures are few and far between. In every house there are scraps and pieces of material that would make warm comfortable garments. You are surprised how interested you will become, and how happy ; you will forget yourself, which is the best thing that can happen to you, and be helping those who sorely need your help, a twofold good. Self-forgetfulness and work will be your best medicines, and after a long and steady course of both you will look back upon the idle and useless days you used to spend with regret, and a strong desire to make up for them in the future. Take plenty of exercise in the open air, and if your time is well filled up you will forget all your fancied aches and pains; you will sleep like a child, and even, in time, be able to make a joke about those most unhappy days when you were so fearfully depressed. If, in the end, you marry, you will be a wife worth the winning; and if not, you will have found in self-forget-fulness and good deeds quietly done not only your lost health and spirits, but that satisfying and peaceful happiness which, after all, is perhaps the only happiness quite free from pain.—The Queen.