ROUNDS THE CORNERS.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 938, 21 February 1890, Page 17

ROUNDS THE CORNERS.

THE CONFERENCE. The Federation Conference had a lively time while it lasted. There was some tall speechifying and heaps of earnestness and sentiment displayed. All agreed that federation wasclesirable, but no one disclosed how to do it. Some of the more advanced talldsts granted to. make out that there was an immediate pressing necessity for Australasian coalition, and that is just where. I am puzzled a bit. The colonies have bean rubbing along pretty tollollish all these years and toe the tolloll line all the time. There isn’t any halting or fainting by the wayside. In fact, bowling along under lower stun-, sails is about the phrase to apply bo t.he position. Relations with Mother England are all that can be desired—indeed, the colonies are now 1 her wfiite-.headed boys. 1. Nothing is too good for them, and they are all hugged maternally in turn and made much of. That they will be held in still higher esteem for the good sound ordering of their respective households, goes without saying. The * old woman ’ is a notable housekeeper herself, and can’t abide slatternliness in other people. THERE IS A LIMIT, THOUGH. But excess of self-containedness and precision calculated to weaken the parental ties, wouldn’t be appreciated at all in the old country, nor, for that matter, in the ne w ones, either. There are fanatics, no doubt, ready to shout Vive Republique, or any other extreme sentiment, but the bulk of the. people are sound enough and disinclined: for highfalafcin in politics. Nq, Mother England’s young folks, this-a-way are growing apace, and will soon be big enough to go shoulder to shoulder with their mamma. And that is exactly what she is aware of, and is sort of looking forward to a little sustaining care from her youngsters, Don’t all parents do this ? and why shouldn’t she ? And, taking all things into consideration, the young folks wquld be ungrateful if they did not respond. Let us, say I, maintain relations of the utmost harmony and mutual, give and take with our worthy kind progenitor, and so pave the way for that final closer alliance which will renfie?. the powe.r of the English-speaking races irresistible. Their; will will fie law literally. WHY SUCH A HURRY. And this bojng the position, why sRC.fi a hqrry to Increase the autonomy ‘l- The. main reason to be advanced is unquestionably the desirableness to smooth local matters, to lessen local friction. And that object is so laudable as,to warrant extreme efforts to bring it about. And, it. will b& virtually aeoomplishedi when a uniform tariff fax; al> the colonies,is established, Onge epthroaf?. colonial Freetrade, and the battle is two-thirds won. Aud if

one half of the other third is devoted to perfecting colonial Federation, leaving the other half to be a bond linking us to the Mother Country, a very satisfactory arrangement will have been accomplished. And to this end the colonies had best hasten slowly, making particularly sure of every step taken. There are some zealots in Australia, Sir Henry Parkes is one of them. He has mads this Federation business his last darling object, the Benjamin of his old age, and naturally would like to see it fairly launched. But still the necessity is not vitally urgent, and let it be remembered always that we are moving onward side by side and hand irr hand with the Mother Country. The colonies have a glorious heritage and ’twould only be fair to let the old woman have a Bhare in it if she is so disposed. The cry is from her now, ‘Ah, my children, let us maintain the family tie, the nations are waxing, and we need each other’s help.’ Right you are, mother. I echo Sir Henry Parkes’ words. ‘ His whole being trembled with prayer that in the time to come all parts of the Empire might mass together for ever and ever, and they might form part of one beneficent empire such as the world had never yet seen.’

SILENT EXPRESSION OF OPINION. That was significant silence, indeed, at the entertainment given by the Trince of Wales to the celebrated actor, Mr Toole, when the latter proposed as a toast, ‘ Our Colonial Empire.” Not a response to it. No, Sir, Great Britain wants no Colonial Empire disassociated from herself. She can see her way clearly novT Knows full well in what direction the best interests of the race lies, and so the toast wasn’t taken up. Toole, dear fellow, was just a bit enthusiastic because he was about to make the colonies his happy hunting grounds, and hoped for a lot of sport. His sentiment, did not take. A MUDDLE, INDEED. 1 think that the general run of journalists do sympathise with the London Times in its deep degradation, but the sympathy is seasoned with some indignation at the awful muddle it has made of its patriotism. I cannot conceive, even, how men, not quite distraught, could have been so abominably led astray on such ridiculous pretences as those Piggott letters. The Times has seriously harmed the cause it professed to champion. Always a journalistic lion, it has lately been delivered in bonds to be led by asses. • Public confidence in journalism has indeed been rudely shaken, for the fallibility of the press has been lamentably and humiliatingly disclosed. ’Tis a wretched chapter in newspaper history that, unhappily, will always remain open. CHANGING THE SUBJECT. Such was the idea of a certain old party who many years since in another part of the world professed to be scandalised by the goings on of sundry young scamps of sea boys who assem- ’ bled to make an evening of it, and made the house ring with nautical refrains. The old saint with a cinder in it watched his opportunity, and, as a short pause in the row intervened, got on his hind legs and solemnly addressed them, ‘Gentlemen, let’s have a hymn, now.’ It wasn’t had all the same, hut I, even I, will advocate a little change from Federation moralising and ask my senders to join with me in the following anthem., taken from ‘the Boomerang,’and composed by a Queensland backbloclcs post and rail 1 - er, who. had been asked to prepare something off the kind, to be sung on the occasion of a visit from the Bishop of the Diocese. It runs thusly under the title of A GENERAL TASTE FOR MUTTON.. 4 We al! like sheep,’- (he tenors shrill Rogin and then the church is still, While back and forth across the aisle Is seen to pass the catching smile. *■ We all Idea sheep,” the altos msoari In low and rich and mellow tone, While broader grows tho merry grin. And nose gets further off from chin 4 AYe all like sheep,’ the sopranos sing Xdl all the echoes wake and ring ; The yonng folks titter, and the rest Suppress the laugh in bursting chest. ' We all like sheep,’ the bassos growl— The titter goes into a howl, And e'en the dcaoon.’B. face is graced With wonder the singer’s taste. * We all- like sheep,’ runs the refrain, And then to make the meaning plain, The Bingers all together say ; 4 AVe all like sheep have gone astray.* TYNDALL’S OPINION, 2 agree with Professor Tyndall In my Antipodean, benighted, mental condition —a condition of British political ‘obfuscation,’ I can’t for the life of me- make out the cause of the extraordinary political drift o£ so many thousands of people who, at any rate, are not lunatics quite. But they do drift under the influence of such men ns Mr Gladstone, who has just been dubbed the wickedest man in England by Professor Tyndall, And if chopping, and turning, and twisting about, and casting a glamour over so many of his countryTOOR, hypnotising them in fact, is wickedness, ■vyhy then the Professor is about right. In his old age the man. seems to have been given quite oya? to. the demons of mischievous discojrd and disintegration, all solely in his own abominable political interest. And now his poor old biv.in is serving him another scurvy trick. Hois absolutely advocating a return to the confessional. His next move, I suppose,, will be a tumble into the arms of the Church, of Rome, or peradventure he will turn ShakerAsmodeus.