OLLA PODRIDA.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 937, 14 February 1890, Page 5

OLLA PODRIDA.

ANSWERS EXTRAORDINARY. The following answers given at examinations are going the round of the English and American papers:—‘Who was Moses?’ ‘He was an Egyptian. He lived in a bark made of bull-rushes, and he kept a golden carf and worshipt braizen snakes, and he het northin’ but qwahles and manrer for forty years. He was kort by the air of Jiis ed while ridin’ under a bow of a tree, and he was killed by his son Abslon as he was hang, ins from the bow. His end was peace.’ ‘ What do you know of the patriarch Abraham ;’ -‘ He was the father of Lot and had tew wiv.es. One was called Flismale and tother Haygur, H,e kept one at home and he hurried the tother into the desert, where she became a pillow of salt in the day, time and a pillow of fire at nite.’ ‘ Writs an account of the Good Samaritan.’ ‘A certain man went down from Jerslem to Jeriker and he fell among thaws, and the thaws sprang up and chocked him. Whereupon he gave tuppins to the hoast and said take care on him and put him on his hone hass. And he passed by on the hotherside.’

AN ERRATIC FLASHA correspondent <p£ Nature, writing from Dunstable, says-.—During (the terrific storm of the 12th of July last, a labourer’s cottage was struck by lightning at Leagrave, near here. The lightning descended, according to an eye-witness s report, like a ‘ spout of fire,’ and struck and descended the chimney, which is destroyed. In the room below there was an old shepherd, an invalid woman, a child, and a shepherd'd dog. The shepherd was sitting in a chair leaning on a stick, a kettle was boiling on a fire, and the door was open. The lightning entered the room simultaneously by the chimney and an adjoining window. The window was utterly dpsi/’oypd, and the kettle was thrown, from the fire afirooa the room, the stick on which the ahepherd was Jeanirig was torn from his hand and also thrown across the room, the jightning entered a cupboard containing glass and crockery and destroyed every article, and plaster was torn from the walls. The man and woman remained unhurt, bufc the child was thrown down and its knees stiffened. The dog was struck perfectly stiff. 1 like a log of wood,’ and was considered dead. The room - seemed fJI ol fire, water, and sulphur, and the occupants said the smell of sulphur was so strong that they would certainly have been suffocated had it not been for the open door. After the storm had abated, the dog, with all its limbs stiff, was laid in a barn, where it very slowly and partially recovered. It long remained both deaf and blind, and was entirely dependent up. n smell for its recognition of persons and things. To tins present day it has not entirely recovered its injured senses.

A WART CURE. Mark Twain says :—When I was a, small boy I had my Bhare of warts. I tried in turn the 368 ways of removing them, but without results ; indeed, I seemed to get wartier and wartier right along. But at last somebody revealed to me the 369th way, and I tried it. Thus I drove a needle down into the basement of the wart, then held the other end of the needle in the name of a candle some little lime ; the needle became red hot throughout its length, and proceeded to cook the wart. Presently I drew the needle out. If it’had white atoms like little nits sticking about the point, that wart was clone; if the point was dear I drove it in again, and cooked till I got those white things. They were the roots of the root. Twenty-four hours later the wart would become soft and flabby, and I removed it with a single wipe of my hand. Where it had been was a smooth surface new, which quickly healed aud left no scar. Within two days I was wartless, and have so remained until this day.

RUSSIAN RULE. We may trace in the panorama of Russian advance a uniform procession of figures aud succession of acts implying something more than a merely adventitious series of events. First (says the Hon. George Curzon, M.P., in ‘ Russia in Central Asia in 1889 ’) comes the Cossack, brave in combat and affable in occupation, at once the instiument of conquest and the guarantee of retention. Next follow the merchant and the pedlar, apreading out before astonished eyes the novel wares, the glittering gew-gaws, and the cheap conveniences of Europe. A new and lucrative market is opened for native produce. Prompt payment in _ hard cash proves to be a seductive innovation. Presently appear the prleßt with his vestment and icons, conferring a divine benediction upon the newly established order ; the tohinovDik and kindred symptoms of organised settlement; the liquor shop and its vodka, to expedite, even while debasing, the assimilative process ; the official and taxcollector, as the final stamp of Impenal supremacy. Then , when a few years, or sometimes only months, have gone by, imposing barracks rise, postal and telegraph offices are built, a railway is laid, oolonists are invited, the old times are forgotten, and an air of drowßy quiescence settles down upon the spot that a decade before was scoured by predatory bands or precariously peopled by vagabond tribes. On the other hand the Russians have been aided in the work of pacification by qualities which, though discreditable to civilised peoples, are familiar by immemorial usage as well as by national instinct to Oriental tribes. To an unrefined race such as the latter a want of refinement is not shocking. To peoples with whom lying is no disgrace (vide Alikhanoff’s description of the Turkomans, untrnthfulness presents novelty. To a society trained in theft and dishonesty (vide O’Donovan’s ‘ Mervo Oasis’) corruption is no crime. The conquest of Central Asia is a conquest of Orientals by Orientals, of cognate character by cognate character. It is the fusing of strong with weaker metal, but it is not the expulsion of an impure by a purer element. Civilised Europe has not .marched forth to vanquish barbarian Asia. This is no nineteenth century crusade of manners or morals ; but barbarian Asia, after a sojourn in civilised Europe, returns upon its former footsteps to retrace its own kith and kin. Assimilation is less remarkable ■when rulers are severed from subjects by a gap of but a few centuries, and when no impassable chasm of intellect or character intervenes A system backward in Europe is forward in Central Asia ; stagnation here is dizzy progress there ; and coarser agencies are better fitted for the work of redemption than a more polished instrument.

DIDN’T FIND NOAH’S ARK. Mount Ararat has been for the first time ascended by a young girl. A forester, accompanied by his daughter, only seventeen, and his son, a boy of fourteen, undertook the ascent in the company of three kurds. The boy was obliged to stop at the height of 14,000 feet and the father gave out at 16,750 feet. The girl and the three kurds reached the top, 16,917 feet, but the girl was overcome by. the cold and had to be assisted back by the kurds. A MAMMOTH GUN. A cast steel gun, weighing 235 tons, has just been shipped by Messrs Krupp from Hamburg, for Cronstadt. The calibre of the gun is 13J inches, and the barrel is 40 feet in length, its greatest diameter being 6£ feet. The range of the gun is over eleven miles, and it will fire two shots per minnte, each shots costing between £250 and £3OO. At the trials of the gun hold at Meppin, in the presence of Russian officers, the projectile, 4 feet long, and weighing 18001bs, and propelled by a charge of 7001bs of powder, penetrated 19J inches, and went I,3l2'i.yards beyond the target. The gun, which is the largest in existence, and the heaviest yet exported by Messrs Krupp, had to be carried from Essen to Hamburg on a oar specially constructed for the purpose. — Industries. A LAND CLEARING MACHINE. A Santa Boss inventor has devised a machine for clearing land that is attracting attention. Concerning a recent trial on Guy Grosses’ place fn Rincon Valley, the Democrat says: With its. use stumps and trees which it would take an experienced and stalwart woodchopper a half a day to remove from the soil, are dragged out by the roots, scarcely the smallest fibrous vestige being left in the ground, in two and three minutes, and apparently without the expenditure of great force. The ease with which these stubborn impediments to agricultural development are removed is due to the mechanical construction of the machine, which is in the form of a capstan. Around the drum of the capstan a heavy cable winds, the other end being attached by means of a heavy chain to the fitumpor tree. This cable is 160 feet in length, and, by means of a patent block, any part of it can be hitched to the tree, The shaft which turns the drum is fifteen feet in length and

is drawn with ease by one horse. Dividing the length of the shaft by half the diameter of the drum, five inches, it gives, the multiDiving power of the machine as thirty-six. By the means of another block, the power of the machine is increased to seventy-two time 3 that of the horse which turns the shaft. The machine works on a hillside as well as on level grouud, and two acres of land may bo cleared without changing its position.

FIRE-DAMP DETECTOR. A new device for detecting and estimating the quantity of fire-damp present in the airways of mines hns been presented to the Roval Society by the inventors, Messrs Pitkin and Niblet. The apparatus consists of two thermometers, one of which has its bulb covered with platinum black, whilst the other is of the normal type, and is simply used for comparison with the first. When the instrument is placed in an atmosphere containing a hydrocarbon, suoh as firedamp, there is an increase of temperature in the blagkened bulb, owing to slow combustion of the gas in the pores of the finely divided platinum The difference of height between the two mercurial columns then indicates the amount of gas present in the air.

AMERICAN FABLES. THE TURTLE AND THE SAGE. One day, as the Sage Pursued his way along the edge of the Pond, the Turtlo called upon him to stop for a moment and Relieve her Distress of Mind. ‘ You must know,’ began the Turtle, as sho recovered her Breath, ‘ That Mrs MoasBach, who has for a year or more been my nearest and dearest Friend, now suddenly refuses to even speak to me. I can’t possibly Understand it. I have spoken no word to give her offence, and I h .ve Felt towards her as a Sister.’ ‘Ahem —yes,’ replied the Sage, She i 3 your neighbour ?’ « Yes ; lives in the same mudhole.’ * Are you in the Habit of Borrowing of her ?’ ' Oh, no.’ * But is she of you ?’ * Yes, indeed. I have always been so good to her. I have lent her tea, coffee, sugar, eggs, starch, blueing, my flat-irons, quilt, frames, coffee-mill and everything she has asked for. and was always glad to accommodate her, ’ « And when did this coldness begin V * Last Tuesday.’ * What preceded it ?’ ‘Nothing. She ran in to borrow my best tablecloth, a dozen napkins and my silver forks, but I couldn’t let them go, as I expected company myself.' ‘There’s the Milk in the Oocoanut, my Old Innocence,’ replied the Sage. ‘lf yon once lend you must never refuse. The neighbour who Lives off of you has no Further use for you when you shut off the Supply.’ MORAL: A cup of Sugar or a drawing of Tea will make Enemies faster than a kind heart can make Friends.

The Wise Man and the Foolish One. A Workingman who was going home from his Daily Toil, his Back full of Aches and his Hands sore and blistered, turned aside to call upon a Wise Man and ask his Advice.

‘ Behold in me,’ he began, ‘ a Man who works early and late, lives Poorly and dresses Shabbily, and have never enough to Eat. There’s something Wrong here, and how shall 1 remedy it?’ ‘ My Wooden-Headed Friend, I have often thought of your case,’ replied the Wise Man ‘Often held it up as a warning to others. Gaze on me ! There are no Aches in this Spinal column—no Blisters on these hands. Feel of my fat ! Do you ever see me Working ?’ ‘Never, and that’s why I came to you. How do you manage?’ * All in the Philosophy, my Boy. In this lay and age the man who won’t Work is Supposed to be Physically incapable, and Charity is only too glad to help him grow Fat- Charity is a Hobby. Every Hobby searches for victims. Behold in me a victim. Come in and have some Cold Turkey and think it over.’ moral : Just you notice next spring if the man who has rubbed a lamp-post all summer has lost a pound of flesh through the winter.’

Conundrums. BY H. C. DODGE. Why does a pugilist appear Like one who has a cold severe ? The pugilist, he knows his blows, The other fellow blows his nose. Why is a merchant making money Like a hee that’s making honey ? The merchant sells in stores ; the bee Just Btores in cells, as you may see. Why is a locomotive like Old Sambo at the banjo’s strike ? Down brakes the engine whistles loud; Sambo whistles * break downs ’ proud. Why is an overcoat of gauze Like something that the dentist draws ? The coat’s too thin, beyond a doubt, The other is, of course, tooth out. A weather prophet underground— Why is he like a salesman found ? Well, the weather, knowing fellow, I 3 a prophet for a cellar, And the other, though you scoff it, Is a a seller for a profit. Why is a peddler pulling his cart Like any boy in winter, smart ? Th< peddler draws his wares—-the boy In winter wears his drawers with joy. Why does most every man you see Resemble very much a tree? One makes a bow and leaves somehow, The other leaves and makes a bough. Why is a carpenter like a man Who loves a maiden all he can ? One’s made a door, for that’a his trade ; The other just adores a maid.

Why is an eagle in the sky Like a poor, drowning little fly ? That’s easy. One flies in the air, And one fly’s in the water—there !

The large number of sudden deaths at Nagy Becskersek, Hungary, prompted an official inquiry, when it was ascertained that there were thirty-eight victims, most of them married, who had been poisoned, fortune-tellers supplying the wives with poison. Fifth-seven arrests have been made. Saving in the kitchen tells upon the income and makes the bank account heavier ; but there is one saying that exceeds even these. It is that the wife and mother save herself. t It is poor encouragement (said Burke) to toil through life to amass a fortune to ruin your children. In nine cases out of ten a large fortune is the greatest curse which could be bequeathed to the young and inexperienced. Retaliation is like the storm which sweeps through the forest in destruction. Kindness is like the combined influence of the sun and the rain of the cloud, which germinates seed aud upholds their leaves, flowers, and odours. 11 is somojj&hat curious that nearly all the Lenten custlrat are connected with eating and A decisive indication of the improvements following in the wake of Christianity may be seen in the fact that the British fisheries were the outcome of Lent. Provision for the supply of fish during the great season of abstinence from flesh was a matter of deep concern to the good missionaries to the pagan Saxons. Even in the county of Sussex it is told * that though the rivers and sea abounded in fish, yet the people had no skill to take them.’ Dr Fieandt, writing in Duodecim, a Finnish medical journal, states that he has now troated no fewer than 106 cases of pneumonia with ice, and with the best results. Though ten of the cases were of double pneu. moma, only three out of the whole number succumbed, notwithstanding that the epidemic was by no rneanz a slight ons. The method adopted was to apply over the affected lung an india-rubber bag containing ice continuously for from twelve to twentyfour hours after the crisis. In addition to the local treatment, the patients were given such medicines as are usually employed ; that is to say, opium, ipecacuanha, digitalis, brandy, &o. The method has, we may remark, received of late some attention in this country. One who has studied the question of preserving sight prescribes the following for the better care of the eyes :—Do not study or read by poor light. Light should come from the side, and not from the back or from the front Do not read or study while suffering great bodily fatigue or during recovery from illness. Do not read while lying down. Do not use the eyes too long at a time for near work, hut give them occasional periods of rest. Reading and study should be done systematically. During study avoid the stooping position, or whatever tends to produce congestion of the head and face. Select well-printed books. Avoid bad hygienic conditions. Take sufficient exercise in the open air. Let the physical keep pace with the mental culture ; for defective sight is most usually observed in who are lacking in physical development.