QUIPS AND CRANKS.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 896, 3 May 1889, Page 7

QUIPS AND CRANKS.

WHY SHOULD THE SPIRIT OF MORTAL BE PROUD ? In man is the spirit to do and to dare, But a wee little woman a big man’ll scare ; With her tongue she will frighten him out of his wits, When giving him what vulgar people oall fits j ' She bosses him round, keeps him under her thumb, And to her sweet will he must always succumb. She reigns in her house like a queen on a throne, Her will always his, he has none of his own ; At her her call he must come and must go ; Her ‘ yes ’is his ‘yes’ and her ‘no’ is his ‘ no,’ If thus by a woman a big man is cowed, Oh, why should the spirit of mortal be proud ! A little boy asked his father wfcat an employment agent is, to which the old gentleman replied : ‘ Why, my son, an employment agent is a man who is very anxious to get work for others to do. He himself never wants any.’ * So,’ said a lady recently to au Aberdeen merchant, *your pretty daughter has married a rich husband.’ * Well,’ slowly replied the father, 4 I believe she has married a rich man, but I understand he is a very poor husband.’ Feline Amenities.—‘l wish you hadn't asked Captain Wareham, Lizzie. Horrid man ! I can’t bear him !’ ‘ Dear me Charlotte—isn’t the world big enough for you both?’ ‘Yes; but your little dining, room isn’t !—Punch. Asking Too Much of Him. —* You all remember the words of Webster,’ shouted the orator. ‘No, we don’t,’ interrupted a man in the gallery. ‘He has so many words I can’t remember more than half of ’em.’ For Man and Bea3t.—Weary Reveller : ‘ Blesh me, p’lioheman, this seat is very dampsh !’ Policeman : * Yes, sir ;it probably is moist—as you’ve sat in a drinking trough !’—Fun, The Lady Godiva. —‘ High dresses to be worn at the Drawing-room—indeed !—if Ladies are ill, infirm, or advancing in age ! Ha, 1 Nqs if I know it {’—Runcb, |